and everything is invisibly basted. it will rest for a day.
in the little "bowls" where the green beans are planted... the spores must have been waiting in the scrap feed , the compost. ? waiting silently. i wonder what they look like? how small a spore is?
in each bowl this morning there they were...not there last eve. and shriveled to almost nothing at all when i got back from work today. i had to look hard to find them. Mushrooms. how amazing, in a desert. i wonder what purpose they serve. Everything has one. What might be Theirs?
IS?, the straight stalk better than the wobbly dream like blue one? i don't know yet. Looking. and her hair is just good enough now. how funny, to spend hours of a day on a few strands of hair....
the two leaves got washed and scrunched as best i could. they are Deb Lacativa's work. she irons stuff. i don't know why, but i love her anyway. no more no less. pinned here to that iris cloth that was Blue for a while only.
Second year Woad is getting it's bloom
Young Locust has the beginnings of blooms
Iris have managed 3 strong Electrical Storms/High Wind and maintain their integrity
Nothing with neighbor. She was gone today, with her son. Still gone. and i have been unable to stay away from the changes. Goats are really, ok. but in the place they are, they are continuing restless. Out where they WERE, there was room to invent activity. room to Run. room to Wander a little even. and i knew that this is pulling on me when i dreamed last night that i'd forgotten to feed some little ones. this is an old, longstanding dream. the circumstances of the dream changes, but it's the same theme. I'd forgotten some little ones. in the dream last night i think they were puppies. quite small, fluffy things. i think puppies. there were two. a light one and a honey colored tricolored one. they had become weak. and by feed, well, it's breast feeding. yes. i breast feed forgotten little ones in my dreams. over years. sometime, a lot of times, they are more like monkeys. but they are always animals. it's never human babies that i've forgotten. animals. and in the dreams i am just so glad that i still have milk. i can correct my negligence quickly. efficiently.
so...this dream. it's been a while. really, a long time since one of those. but there it was. last night.
and also, same dream, Gideon, the big beauty full old buck Goat here, just as kind of an aside to what was Central in the dream moment, big old buck Goat Gideon out of the blue did a triple back flip. TRIPLE. it was totally amazing to see...this big old Goat rising into the air and spinning 3 times. he crash landed, but didn't mind that. he was fine. he loved that he flipped so well.
so, about Rearranging...thinking about the dream, listening to the discomfort of the Goats, moving through the day with this kind of energy going, it occured to me that the reason i am feeling what i am feeling is that i had gotten used to things going relatively Ok. with seeing a need and then figuring out a way to find a , a, well, fix. find a way. and i am in a place right now where that fix is interdependant with my neighbor.
and then, the 3 Electrical Storms and their RAIN, which the Earth here so desperately needs...caused the roof in the Room to leak. the quick fix that Paul Who Can Do Anything did wasn't enough. and at the time, he said that. it might not work. it isn't.
so i thought today...how can i work this? and it occured to me that i can at Least THINK differently. So, for now, i am going to rearrange things. i am going to go under the assumtion that things might be Ify. and IF there are days, like spans of time, when things are OK or GOOD, i will be Very Gratefull. but i won't Expect that. i will expect, at best, neutral. just neutral....days of one hoof in front of the other. and will watch this. see how it goes.
Thunder Storm today. then just Rain. Alz b. and on the way, the desert was washed of dust...vibrant, in it's own way, lush. And, many ~small~ stitches. legs, arm, and her hair...which looked upon as a cloth normally would be looked upon, is not such disarray....
these small small stitches i need to do standing up...looking down on. so small....the subtlety of just one small stitch changes things a lot. Does the strand of hair go UP, or Down? or just remain neutral? there is a difference with each choice.
what to do about.....worry? it's a legitimate spontaneous response to some things, maybe? I found self worried that i might be Causing worry for others, due to the particular circumstances of the day.
but i got to REVIEW what all i have come to think about Worry. so, that was good. When we can't Know something, when there's no way, there is no Use to worry. Whatever is, is. i think that's about it. But then, it still rises up. so, i got caught up in it for a while and then it wore me out and i reminded self of the above.
so, i could be less predictable with posting. That would correct what happened last night and on for the most part of the early day. i could post now and then, off and on. then i would not cause worry. but i do like the discipline of posting every day. So, for now, if i am not here when you expect me, check other Typepad people, Spirit Cloth, Jude, for one. that should provide an answer. and/or Email me. that's google, so wouldn't be affected. so....we'll let it go at that for now.
certain things are important here. that their knees touch. and that Lizard is touching Her with her hand. that Lizard is close to what the Whiptails really look like here... this would be the blue tail. I don't know if i like that stem. and also the tail of Lizard...does it go over or under the stem? That piece of Sky has moved all over. and i totally removed it for a while. but it's back on for time being. don't know.
the Green Beans are UP, some of the Chard. Nothing from over in Neighborland, but we are feeling it here. Doe Goats are restless in the smaller space. they had gotten used to the other.
preoccupied since last eve with trying to get through. and i am thinking now. this is the downside.
if i don't post, especially when Something is going on, it seems ominous. I don't like that. there's enough to worry about in this world. so i am thinking. and it's possible that Typepad will crash again. So i guess just to keep that in mind when there is a silence until i think it out. but for now...
this was Yesterday's pic. the drawing of Her and the Lizard. Was just to try to imagine Size. have been working this morning and it's different. If nothing else happens with Typepad, will post again this eve.
i thought a lot today, most of the day, off and on, mostly on, about All of You who come here and to the Mothership of Spirit Cloth. Who, over time, some, but some also just New, but of the same Spirit...who i
and i thought about how grateful i am for All of Us, in a world that is difficult to understand.
and i also thought about how this impossible situation i find myself in is so much the SAME as others around the world where there are Huge Differences in understanding. Huge Differences in View
how some might see the goat as a blessing. others just next door as a curse. all the while, the Goat
is just a goat. being so beautifully Goatly.
i off and on too, went out and pressed my nose into one or the other of them...inhaling deeply. No smell. and i got on my knees and put my nose to the earth they are in. and yes. there is a smell. there is a smell of scrap feed. there is a smell of dry grass hay. a smell of alfalfa stems. but their round and perfect little shit balls...no. no smell. if i dig down, under the top layers, and put my nose to that, i smell the scent of all, merging, composting into rich sweet soil.
so this is what I know. it is not what my neighbor knows. Maybe. Maybe i can understand a way to show her this.
But today and now until Easter is over, i am just hunkering down. no sign of Anything at her house today. Quiet. Still down here at our end of the road. in the past we would joke and laugh about declaring this end of the road a sovereign state. we would put up baracades and not allow passage on the road. close it off. i need to find a way to reach that person now. maybe i can. maybe i can't. but i need to try.
in the meantime, i THANK You All from my deepest heart of hearts for all you offer. All the time. Just particularly noticable right now.
Love to All of Us.....
coming and going from this today
from the Iris. all cotton or linen. i think the yarn, from Patricia, is cotton. but it could be silk. the greens began same as the blue. but i took them out of the pint jar and put them in the copper pot. Green. nice greens. but i use Deb Lacativa's greens. and so. the blue was just from in the jar with water. i haven't washed any of them yet. so more to find out. O and the bottom of that one strip that is darker...a quick dunk in the Walnut.
and the beginning. looked at scraps for the SunFlower. then invisible basted, walking stitched ~Jude Hill~ the layers together. it's good.
no pics. pretty much no nothing. i have been stunned. dumbstruck. all day. thoughts going around in useless circles.
this morning at 7 something a.m. my neighbor across the road called to tell me that she cannot stand the Goats. that the smell of them is in her food. that she cannot eat. is nauseated. i went over there and she just repeated herself, saying she can't help it. they are making her sick. i was as i said, dumbstruck. just a few days ago she called to borrow something and we stood and talked at her fence and she was laughing about how she liked the sounds they make. In the two years they've been here she has never had anything adverse to say.
i can think of some reasons for this. but really, nothing matters except she is saying they make her sick. i don't know what to think. i don't know what to feel. i don't know what to do.
i moved them back into the Front pens, the ones that are on either side of the Albatros with the corridor behind it that connects them. The Way Back is Empty. WIND is blowing blowing HARD again and still. I just feel uhhh, Blank.