i dreamed last night. it was a HUGE DREAM. technicolor, wizardry of Special Effects.
and again. the Goats are in the dream. this might be the 4th time? in the last week or so? not usual.
so...unless others want to continue on, i think i will give this a rest. it's by no means done with, but it has come to an Unexpected Place where it can rest a while, maybe.
and i want to thank ALL of YOU that come here and participate in my Life with me. it's really magnificant and i am beyond Grateful for it.
and i want to thank you JULIE for asking. little did you know, it would allow me so much Freedom as it has. your question was more simple than my answer but your question ALLOWED my answer to become what it has. and in this moment, i am so grateful for this.
in trying to be Coherent in my answer, i was able to see things differently than i have when it is just me and my mind. it tends to be so much more circular that way...
here, i needed to lay it on the table. let the light shine on it. look.
and where i am with it all now is that really, for the first time i was able to see kind of clearly how i have a Propensity (buddhist term) to do things. how it appears Sudden. and how, Really, honestly, it ISN'T thought out...as in...how it might go...what might happen. it is limited to the Going itself. without a lot, or really ANY forethought. Something seems Right. really Right. so
and in this moment, looking at all this has brought up, all the images of the SlideShow, ..... i really TRUST it. it has moved me through a Life and so many Experiences. it is GOOD. very GOOD. and as we have said...no regrets. and what that means to me in this moment is that i have suddenly (that word again) realized that there is no reason to imagine it won't continue that way until i'm dead. that even now, when time is not Endless anymore, when it is finite, i can
Just Go. i can totally. TOTALLY. let go. let go. let go of concern. What Will BE will RISE UP as the NEXT and i will be Ready. BUT/AND i don't need to project anything at all into the Future.
What comes comes. THIS is really really so very BEAUTY FULL...i cannot tell you. there is such a just so Light Freedom to it. and i am noticing it in all the small ways one does in the days, yesterday and today when a thought comes unbidden...a Challenging Thought...habitual....and
i find self
remembering. Remembering that things will take Care of themselves. They have. They will.
it's all just so OK.