windthread

Caroline

stole my sunbeam

for no reason

what is their reason?,  purpose?,  place?    i squat to study them,  they're  small,  not even 2 inches tall,  their SHAPES...the leaves,  flower like and they're in profusion in some places...here across from those Parasol Mushrooms by Jack's gate

i just wonder about them as i spend some of the day watching  the Lookout,   Zeke Lunder   with all his maps...him explaining fire behavior....how we got word today that Finally,   next Tuesday the septic guy will come,  dig the hole for the site evaluation,  the County will be there to grant their approval...or not.....and building here can begin   or not

and i see that the cemetary where Octavia Butler is buried in Altadena was spared

lost pic

all of every Thing and more

???

i like that they say    essential seeds       

the Garden will be different.   and      it's time to  focus on what i mean by that thought.    Why do i say it,  what do i    mean?   so in these next few days.   and then it's time to order.    February comes soon.   and i need to do the questioning and the ordering down There....at   the Garden.   Need to take the catalog ,  paper and pen and make the list  while sitting     There.   

the And More is a confession.   I succumbed 

to an advertisment on FaceBook.    Bells.   it began on a particularly hard morning of      News   .   and i looked and turned away and over the next days,   it appeared over and over and over and over i looked and turned away.   but then....i tapped...Order Now and because PayPal was an option,   i         DID IT.   because i couldn't decide which,    i got    BOTH.       fully accepting the possibility that they might not be as advertised and there might be regret.....

and since then,  every few days there has come an email notice of  Tracking  Status....and i was amazed to see that the first Bells were from Ireland,,,,???..,  the Witches Bells  which this evening are at customs

the second,  Serenity Bell is coming from     Czech Republic!   ...!     ....   my   "mother land"   where my maternal grandmother was born and lived.   last tracking was Prague.   

it's embarrassing.   but somehow in this world of lies,    there is a crazy hope         always     for   Surprise and Beauty and Joy and somehow these Bells are representing  that for me....and well....we'll see.     Now you  know.   and can await the answer with me.  i'll keep you posted as their updates arrive.   

 

i've been waiting

arrived.    for some months now,   i've been kind of adrift.      a Circumstance of Drift.   Since that evacuation,  when Onday fell,   when the Garden died.     something happened.     and tho it was  uncomfortable,   there was an   "understanding"   that i should just

wait.

not imagine      FIXing.   just wait.    

and i have.   not knowing.    waiting.           and here we are.

more circumstance and last Friday night i find out that Betty Edwards had written this book.   published in 2020.  She would be in her 90s.    somewhere in my 30's i met and took my first drawing class with Kay Gould Caskey.   It was based on Edward's first book...Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain.   a whole world opened to me.       and in the last year or so?,   i've circled back around.   Drawing.   Just drawing.  Pencil.  Paper.     Two simple things that the Life i now live can accommodate.    and i find that it brings me  deep connection to and with my life as i breath through the days.     

i have not opened the cover.  have just sat,  holding it in my hands.   reading:  "decoding the way we perceive, create and learn"

decoding the way we perceive, create and learn

i am so excited.....yes,  i think....this is what has been happening while i thought i was only Waiting........those lizards,  Uno and Dos down at Jack's gate    this is what they have been teaching me,  what i have been so so grateful to learn        i  am SO ready . This is just sheer Happiness.

  

the grand finale

those beauty full Parasol Mushrooms.    Earth.   

basketball practice Again, Saturday January 11

the Bear Cats

another day.  Saturday.   I want to leave this here for whatever reason....i have no words for it,  really,   i just want it.

as half this nation remains in shock as we move forward into the NEXT,    just here.   A girl.    Whose school offers things.  She tries them out,  not knowing,  tries them out....sports....basketball....team sports....she goes and wears her colors.    I want to be like this...just going,  not knowing,   wearing my colors  

sometimes

it's like this.    January.   When it's not raining.   Sierra Nevada foothills   California   United States of America

a hill

i love

when SomeOne comes      a face     looks out at me

What are they wanting me to know?

here, not here, here, not

the kneadable eraser.    off and on,  during the afternoon.  so....maybe again tomorrow?