this will be 16 years here. i have watched. closely. days and nights, seasons. changes. it began from nothing and went to something then to many things and finally to more than enough. i've learned more than i'd ever imagined learning, more than i knew there was to learn. and it could be that i might say, just this much. but, what i am facing is that there is so much more and i most likely will leave before ......before....before who knows?
Clarissa Pinkola Estes said something like Stand and face what you know.
to me...this has always meant, since i read it in Women Who Run With the Wolves
has always meant....don't turn away, just stand. look. see. watch. and then
keep standing, looking, seeing, watching.
so hard is about love. hard is about loving a Place. loving it in all it's changes, letting it teach me. so much. this is partly what i wanted to talk about when i have approached the word of sustainability with Wendy , Grace and Mending and Deb G. my understanding of that word has changed over time, just as everything "out there" has changed and is changing. what was it?, that i thought i was sustaining? the most recent answer to that would be.........my own imagination. but as i am here, in this changing spring to summer season, that is different than any of the 15 that have come before, it is teaching me.
and this is what is hard. i wanted to just turn away. i wanted to just make it ....what? well...i am finding i don't have those words yet. so...i won't rush this. will wait. it will come of it's own accord.
Deb G stitched a moonflower. which reminded me to go out and look...which made me see something that i might have forgotten and missed. it is very quiet and private, really.
like this is too...another one, remember?
