i remember posting a while ago about Meaning and Purpose.
sometimes i feel like i really am without either of these. and i think about it. sometimes i wonder about whether i have/had/ever will have any Real meaning or purpose in this life. i feel small and really, kinda "nothing".
it looked like this, this morning. a frozen air. a surprise, to both me and the world out there.
Oddly, today i watched the entirity of Whitney Huston's funeral. how strange. i watched it here, on the computer screen, well, a few inches of the screen...maybe 3x5"? i don't have a TV.
so. i watched 4 hours worth of her funeral. the funeral of a woman much younger than i. a woman that though i never saw any of her movies, never watch any TV, never really ever listen to the radio even, ..........i knew. i knew her because of the kind of world i live in. stuff comes to you. one way or another. and i knew Whitney Huston to be a voice like no other in our time. i knew her to be a gentle kind of beauty, so beauty Full and all so flawed and weak. a woman.
BUT a woman who had an incredible gift. a gift that allowed the possibility of Meaning and Purpose. but here she was. dead. in a baptist church, in a casket, dead.
many people said stuff. her young daughter sat somewhere , out of the eye of the camera. as, it seems she was all along. this child of such a blinding light. i wondered what she thinks about meaning and purpose
so
i stitched the SideOat Grama and listened and thought.
and i remembered the conversation i had with my son some days ago about the word .......mediocre........that had come to me in my thought wandering. that there was a certain kind of freedom coming with the thought that i am just a mediocre person.
how interesting.
But...i am what i am, like Popeye says. and being that, i must be what i am, what all or little i carry through the days. so...i stitch sideoat grama on a Diaries cloth. ok, then.
