i wanted to say some things. then, i thought i wouldn't. but now i am.
Looking for words. Telling.
there's something about Telling. Telling how it is for "you" which, would be me, in this case. So, i had thought, during all the set up for the goats coming, i had thought about the probable fact that this ecosystem would change. but i had thought that there would be some kind of disturbance. that stuff out there would be startled by 12 and now 17 sentient beings that take significant PLACE by being here. and i knew that it would change me. change how i experience a day, any day, every day.
and...interestingly enough, things are, i guess, Evolving. Changing, Taking In, Just Going ....in such surprisingly wonder Full ways. Today, i set my mind to dealing MYSELF with the swamp cooler. it's the SouthWest air conditioning. it's a box attached to your home that has water connected to it through a small tube system from an outdoor faucet. the water enters and through plastic spigots, sprays down on 3 or 4 walls of the box that hold pads, made of shredded aspen. then, there is a whirring motor that turns and tries to dry the pads, thereby creating cool air that flows into your home. i have lived years, off and on without. just sweated through parts of days. but daughter Jenny has a different biology than i and becomes, uhhh, flattened with excessive heat. So, for the days she comes here, i needed to get it working. i sweated and struggled and got it all apart and went to the hardware store with the non functioning parts and came home with the hopefully functioning parts and sweated some more trying to put it all back together.
and Why i am telling this here, is that, really, it's all about ....guess what?.....Mending. it 's all about everything i've learned about Cloth. what doesn't work, you cut out, or go over. all it ever takes is just looking...thinking....doing....just going. THIS IS AMAZING TO ME.
so, i DID get the cooler going. what was over 100 degrees in here is now pleasantly....warm. AND I DID IT MYSELF. silently, looking, thinking, just going. one moment to the next. done.
and then, the goats were calling. i am trying to cut their feed a little at a time. they don't need so much, maybe. but it's a big MAYBE. and they called me. and as i went out and pulled Kochia weed to fling over to them, a little every day to accomodate their transition from alfalfa, i watered things. which is a trip in itself and as i watered things, i saw:
that the bindweed is blooming Everywhere......because i don't have time to pull it.
and there is ORANGE mallow again!
and the grapes are coming!!!!!!!!!!!!!! oh eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
and as i hauled wheelbarrows full of manure from one raised bed to a different one, because i haven't had time to plant in the Usual Way, i heard a cicada. Chicharra, in spanish. one full month ahead, at least and i followed her sound and there she was on the young locust tree. i didn't take her picture because also interested in her was one of the Mocking Birds that nest in the Elderberry.
but then, looking down...........oh LO and BEHOLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
like a kiss on the forehead from a God Thing....oh and oh and just oh...............this so very SMALL so very NEW so very perfect Praying Mantis. and again, like the Walking Stick, if there is one, there are many.
I take this as a blessing. I take this as affirmation of good effort, though, faltering sometimes, though not really knowing anything at all. I take these things as confirmation of the Law of Just Going.
