Thunder Man is moving. lightening. but if i don't get this down here in the moment, it will be lost. One way or the other.
Deb G provided the key. in the last comment that loosened the whole thing. an innocent comment but it was what was needed.
the heat has broken. like a fever.
i went out with the flash light to see what they were doing. they are in the Albatross. they are concerned.
the house, from where they can see.
ok. this is risky business. Thunder/Lightning is still overhead. but i need to get this down. if i would wait till morning, it wouldn't be the same.
Deb G commented and loosened it all. i understand more. re: that pic of 19 me. what is was/is.
it's Willingness. Willingness without Knowing. Total Willingness, simply based upon the moment. Clean. Clear.
so much has happened since that single moment when someone snapped that pic. experiences. some good some not so much. but the truth that remains within it all is that
I cannot keep stuff safe. OR, just, I cannot keep anything. i can just go.
in the moment of that pic, i was without past or future. i was just there. pure. clean. simple.
and this is where i am finding self again now. just there. just going. it sort of is something about trust. but more that that, really, a kind of Willingness. a Willingness for Whatever. who knows?
and here we are again, the Jude Thing, supposedly about cloth, but really, about Everything,
it's Just Going.
So. ok. it is a beautiful totally perfect New Mexico night. the sky is illuminated by Storm. Earlier, dragonflies filled the air. FILLED the air. the hose ran into the tree wells and toads came. a spider came to drink. i watched a spider drink. and i am RElearning the truth that i cannot keep anything at all safe. i cannot keep anything at all Right. i need to just go.
Thank You, Deb G. Thank you and big big love.........
