so...no need to Reply.
When i first started this blog thing, it was to record my work with Learning Cloth Making with Jude.
What happened with that?
well...i guess that the cloth making is Part of my Experience and the rest is everything that is not cloth making...like what i do in my days. To ME, it's one in the same. Writing it here is not one in the same.
Wha. how can i say this.
i never think ahead of what i am going to say here. it's just what comes out of me, raw. as is. i don't have time, or want to TAKE time, i guess to think it through ahead, to write it down and "preview" it. i just don't want to do that. so...it is what it is. and really, this blog is first and foremost a journal of my days. a journal. and the thing that makes it clumsy is that it is public. i could make it private. for my eyes only.
Question: Why would i do that? would that be Better?????
for pretty much all my life i wrote journals, Morning Pages, etc. etc. and i got really tired of it. and stopped. and for some years did NO journaling of any kind. that was good too. it's a common question. why does someone put their thoughts "out there"...not because they think they have anything particularly wonderful to say, but because they for whatever reason find it interesting or useful to see their inner workings in print????
this morning i made myself a little Sign that i pinned to the curtain over the computer screen. it was to cause me to....PAUSE....to maybe even Filter OUT some of what i might write here. and all day i looked at it. Should I? Why?
and in this moment, i am thinking like Popeye. i am what i am. My children's father, my first husband used to get so tired of me. he would leave rooms with the words "Lighten UP! so...i know certain things about myself. but back to Popeye.
I am going to just put this DisClaimer here: I AM A HUMAN BEING IN PROCESS. I THINK STUFF THAT CHANGES ALL THE TIME. NOTHING I SAY HERE HAS ANY PARTICULAR TRUTH EXCEPT FOR ME IN MY OWN EXPERIENCE. IN FACT, IT MAY BE TOTALLY WRONG. but i won't filter it. what comes out will come out. particularly in this Year that i have committed to. if i werent posting every day, some stuff would just dry up on the vine and blow away inbetween posts. but every day, we see every day.
so...if for whatever reason anyone out there continues to read here, i just hope you will disagree or blow me off or whatever seems right to you. best of all...say so. one of the true things of value in my sense of it is that we get to SEE so many "others" and we get to gain a sense of how we are like them or different from them , but always, there seems to me to be some Common Ground. if nothing else than another woman trying to make sense of what she perceives to be a life.
so...Ta Da. done. for the moment.
and this is happening on the Wall:
