i'd thought about some other things, but ....as the evening went, ....this is just it
thes two small things occured. the bottom left is the cloth that represents for me the Spade Foot Toads. Their Eggs. that do or do not reach maturity. This year, here, not. the puddles dried up. Nothing for this year.
and the
line through the Center.
The Line through the Center is the REAL. not always easy.
what else do i want to say about this right now????, well, not always Easy. But then, i don't know much, really, about living on this Planet. i am Learning. day by day. and that Line reminds me that it's not about me. it's about Life. it's about How It All Goes.
yesterday, Nurse Cindy DID come. but she had just given her resignation at the old folks home. she was full, in Herself of what is ahead for her. her final years of work, now being at a new and very challenging place. and so...we talked. and sorted through all that.
this morning, i called Blain and Karen's. they live down the way and Blain does Things. Many Things. They are Christian people. you can count, on any given exchange, can count on listening to them Witness for Christ. Especially Karen. they home school their kids, have chickens, pigs and a Goat or two. anyway, i called and told Karen about the little buck goats. so, just a while ago, Blaine showed up and did the Deed. it took maybe 3 minutes? two little bucks banded. just now, in this MOMENT, they have stopped crying. they cry. the pinching hurts. but it's evening and by dark, they will have given in to it. and by morning, it won't hurt much. and by tomorrow night, it won't be much at all. and by the next day, they will have forgotten. and in 10 days their shriveled testicles will have dropped of into the dirt.
THIS STUFF is hard for me. unlike Blaine, i was not raised on a ranch....with calves and pigs. he didn't blink an eye. my eyes are wide open and blurry. it's hard for me. but what i know is that their lives as neutered male goats, Weathers, will be longer and kinder than if it never happened. Someone very well might Love them Forever. as an unaltered Buck, there's not much chance. and saying that, i did NOT band Nogal. He remains whole. and in a very short time he will be moved into the buck pen. life there will be filled with challenges. but i want to keep him. he is Buckwheat's son. carries that line.
so...life. Life. is what it is. and looking at it through Goats, i have to expand my View. and I Don't Know.
