windthread

319

so

maybe i am doing better?  with days.  just days.  how they come and how they Are.

 

these are my most loved seed people.   they tell me which varieties do well with heat and drought which is what there is here, where i live.   i notice something very different in this catalog and it's not addressed,  so i am left to guess.  the paper, first, is less glossy,  less fancy than usual.  that,  but then too,  there are many FEWER choices.  this makes me wonder.  but i didn't see any words to say why...????  but ok.  i'll just go with it.  and SIT with it for some days before i order.

 

this is that strip with all the Kochia.  it's GONE tonight...raked over to where i will finish burning it probably tomorrow, depending on presence or absence of WIND.  and it was quite wonderful because it's more of an expance than i'd thought.  almost 5 ft.  so, for Sure, the Native Plum could find a good place there.  

 

there's my little tin house

 

 

we need to water the apricot tree.  all of Julian's stuff is under it.  so we moved it all to "high" ground so it wouldn't be lost

 

and i saw her,  how she is, there in the crook of the tree.  Tree Baby he calls her.  through seasons, through Great Wind,   she's just there.  Tree Baby.

 

and i didn't take in the onions in time.  so i've left them to grow and reproduce this spring.  accidentally raked one out today in my Happiness.  it's nice.  pungent.  onion~y.  nice.  i'll eat it in the morning with refried beans.

a Very Excellent day

 

318 the day that disappeared

it began as days often do...looking.  

but from there,  a blur.  Waiting with Goats Out Back for the Propane Delivery.  then Work Away.  back to a warm Sun filled afternoon with no Wind.  perfect.  burned  the piles that have been waiting for a month or more now.   got the call to come early to pick up the truck load of grass hay and home in the dark with headlights on.     we all get to just go to sleep early tonight with no thoughts on our minds.   Begin again tomorrow.

 

 

317

all those Kochia are pulled loose.  at first i used the shovel to break them off at the ground.  But Wind was here and i found it easier to do it by hand, on my knees.  at ground level,  Wind is not so much.  Plus,  i always enjoy it down there, looking through and around like maybe a rodent would, or an insect,  or (DON'T LOOK, Marti) a snake.  it's a forest that way.  nice.   half of the dried stalks were thrown over the Goat fences,  half remain for the same use this week some time.  Soon as they're gone,   i can begin  layering mulch...the uncomposted hay.   will make that thick.  the act of breaking off and moving the dried stalks    released billions of seeds  that can take hold in the  Spring.  The thick mulching will decrease that some.

and all the while i thought about what could go there.  went through many possibilities and what i ended up with at the end of the day was....Native Plum.  they can grow as a grove of small bushes. producing small sweet fruit.   but they will need to be as local as i can find them.   IF i can't find a source by this spring,  then...will plant  the Purple de Milpa Tomatillos there.

 

 

all this is what remains from last summer.   They are leggy plants,  sprawling.  They self seed by nature of themselves and the grower.   all the ones unseen until the plants dry.   so i will use these for seed.  because of Wind,  the pics are fuzzy.

 

Looking at this.  a Deb Lacativa.  was pinned to one of the curtains and taken down to be washed.  had been in a bowl on the kitchen counter.  hung to dry.  and ohhhhh,  look.  oh,  eeeee.  Looking very much at this.

 

so.   The lower right in the pic,  the lower left of the Cloth.   At some definitive point.  WHAT?

goes in the lower right/or left?   up in the upper Left/or right  is the  Thing that represents the Butterflies  which represent to me PROOF of some kind of Great Intelligence that loves Beauty.  and now,   down in that opposite corner.....  Stuff that Lives.  Tries to Understand it All.  What will that be like?   does it go Over the movement of Energy,  Under it? ,  both?   Does it Stand Alone?

 

 

 

 

316

this is the road fence.  about 40 ft.  you can see the compost to the left and then disappearing into the dry weed stalks which are Kochia.  The most common weed here.   The Goats would eat it but just inbetween gnawing away on the trees and bushes in the Oasis there which is not fenced like in the Way Back.  so they grew.   it's a six foot fence.   when green, many were taller than the fence.  they're taller than i am there.   This is nothing new.   i have always had something growing where the compost bed is now.  the compost bed itself one year was a potato bed.  grew great potatoes.  That area also has grown corn.  so...for the most part, it's always been watered.  

in keeping with the thoughts of Permaculture,  i suddenly understood why the weeds grew so tall.  Water.  Water from what seeped over from watering the compost bed.    If i could grow a bumper crop of Kochia,  what Other plant could i grow there?   it's at the fence.  so a vine plant first comes to mind.    i don't think there is enough moisture for say, beans.   so what else?  grape vines.  OR, or AND/OR raspberries.   i had some success with raspberries once in an other place.   but it was where it was difficult to water and so i let them go.   But it feels very good to be thinking in this way.  i like it.

i stitched until noon.  almost the whole second side finished.  then noon till dark i was outside.  This is a perfect day.   am spending some time really allowing that to sink in.  what is a perfect day and why.  Why don't i have more of them?  is it because i can't?  or                                                                    don't.  

 

 

 

something in between

how Stuff  happens

 

we get born

 

we agree to make things born

 

 

315 that question: To Whom do you belong?

Today the Cloth rested.   i watched.  back and forth to look  while thinking more about that question, thinking more about this Place and how that word Permaculture has risen up again...as many things again, from times that i thought were past.  that word/concept...Gaia.   How time really IS elastic or fluid and non linear how what was still is.   and between looking at the Cloth, i went Out and just walked around, looking, feeling, wondering.   trying i guess to catch up to where i was before to where i've been and where i think i am now.  it's all just moving though.... i don't know anything.   i spent some time just now going back through the pics in Picasa....trying to get a sense of time...   

images are markers of Something.  Seeing when the Willow Tree died,  When that Strange and Terrible time was in February when it was Seventeen Degrees BELOW ZERO  and so much was lost.   Yet so much lived, but in a different form.  and then seeing when the Goats came...April of 2012.  I have written that down on a blank index card that lies on the desk here.  because it all is merged.  I need to see it.  printed in black ink on white.  

 

this is June 20, 2012  the last time things were kind of how i knew them to be,  OR,  how they had been.   the same month last year was totally overgown and "of it's own accord".  

Now,  almost midway through January,  thoughts of Growing begin.  it's how it is here.  Some things can be planted in late February, early March so it's not too soon.   But it feels very different too.  Tulip died.  that marks the END of a very long piece of time.  marks the Finish of it.  and it's different now, but i don't know how yet.   So i look at this Cloth that is "talking".  Telling.  and i also see that the one Constant in the last 4 years has been the cloth making.  Cloth.  ClothMaking.  

and what i seem to be coming to know is that i belong to the Feminine Energy of the Earth, Who is called Gaia.  and back to that sense of Diorama which goes back to my very early childhood.   If i were to go to a museum of natural history and come upon one of those mysterious and magical boxes that held  the image of a Life within....there, illuminated softly would be an acre of land, the Plant People,  all the creatures that InHabit.  there would be Goats.  there would be pots with things fermenting.  and there would be a growing old woman,  sewing.  Making.  Listening.  Learning.  Just Going.  Small things.  Day to Day.  ok.

 

 

 

these are photos in the book....Gaia's Garden.   i will not have this.  it's a total Devotion.  but...i already have and can Intend more of it.   My Diorama.  Where i Live. 

 

 

this is how the earth was marked when i forgot and let the water from the hose run all night.  but i look at this and see how the movement of water marks things,  changes things, moves things.   it is an accidental Swale, an artificial Swale.  but i can learn from it.  

it was really, a very very BEAUTY FULL day.

 

 

314 and an Addendum....Shelter arrived in Delaware see comment below

Quiet day.  

 

finished the one side for now.   i have no idea what might happen on the Inside,  so want to wait.  not get too close yet.   just now,  began the other side.  it's slow slow going.

all afternoon was outside work...hauling manure and scrap feed to compost and also directly to the long vegetable bed.  it's early enough.  can just dig it in and let it compost there.  another week or so.   the pic there would be the wheelbarrow........

 

love the back.  i wonder if we could look at the Other Side of our lives,  would it be somehow similar?

 

with flash

 

ADDENDUM ~           received Cynthia's words below as an email this morning.  i asked her if she could possibly put it here as a comment...because her writing is SO Extraordinary, because her words mean so much to me,  because her words, the arrival of Shelter to her is very much a part of what is happening with this Cloth,  with  the answer to that Dream question the other day...

"To Whom do you belong"

 

 

 

 

313 nice balance in this number.....313

during the night, Tulip, the last of the Crazy dogs died.   this sounds Cold, i am thinking, but it is, in it's way, a complete relief.  First, she was Very Old,  so just for that.  Second,  she took Forever to die.  Has been wandering about relatively mindless now for a long time.  no sense of things.  would stand at the water bowl drinking with urine running out simultaneously.  So, it was time.  But the relief comes from her being the last of a long period of time when my life was ......what.....when my life was not my own.  When my life was in a way dictated by others.  I could have refused.  but i didn't and i accomodated what seemed to be some kind of necessity.   Tulip was the wife of Como Tu.  the maniac husband's chihuahua dog.  they had 4 children.  Marky was killed in a street fight many years ago.  as was Como Tu.  then there remained Lily and Ramone and the mother Tulip.  Lily and Ramone died this summer.   Tulip trotted on until a kind of sudden decline.  i think she was well over 16 years old...don't really know,  she was well into adulthood when she came here from the Animal Shelter.  

so i am telling this here to document it (Journal, remember),  but also it is once again a "Sign" to me that this coming year is going to be different.  Already today, it is different.  i found self speaking aloud to Chinche, my normal dog.  and realized much to my surprise, that my habit of silence was because of the dogs.  If you spoke,  they, as a group, would crowd around.  so i quit speaking much.  interesting.   and not all a loss,  Chinche learned to respond to eye contact and hand gestures.  quite an accomplishment.  

 

so out, early this morning to bury her,  i found self thinking about

Swales.   Swales being depressions in the earth, in Permaculture terms,  either natural or created depressions following contour  of the land that slows and concentrates run off of natural occuring water...rain, snow melt.  

 

when i first came here, there was NO contour of land.  it was simply FLAT.  period.  Flat sand.  that's it.  over the years, because of Use,  some contour has occured.  and also,  i have tried to create  some kind of undulation by building up certain areas with earth and plant matter to some small effect.  this is one.  doesn't look like much, does it.  BUT,  it's something.  and is modestly effective in holding water.  it's weeds, bark from firewood, layered with dirt dug from tree wells.

here is a naturally occuring swale.   this having happened from watering under the Desert Willow and the Salt Cedar.   

So i spent time looking.  spent time noticing where i need to watch, during the next weeks as some snow and rain will fall.  What is it's natural path?  how can i enchance that? 

 

saw this.  someone's home.  nice.

 

i like how Wind has arranged things

 

most of the day tho was spent stitching those energy vibrations.  you can see them a little on the left.  am stitching with ecru.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

312 Restless

kantha is finished.  

Today was the second work away day.   Now,  i don't need to go anywhere at all until next Monday,  except for one visit to Alz. B.  could be any day.  could be for 15 minutes., or an hour.  doesn't matter.  

and i'm feeling Restless.  Unsettled.  Restless.  that's all i can say.   January is like that.  and January will be over so soon.   The intention is to haul wheelbarrows full of compost to the food garden beds tomorrow.  Dig it in.  Maybe i will.  Maybe i won't and will just work this Cloth that holds my attention in a strong way.  i don't know.    late in the day i walked around thinking about

Permaculture

how that works here.   

The Goats,....they always watch so closely,  the Goats talked quietly,  watching me.  What do they say to each other, i wonder

311

woke to frozen water.  pipes, house pipes,  Frozen.  i had forgotten to let the tap in the bathtub drip.  a work away day.  but i hung around, waiting,  listening to the smallest sounds for some sign of thaw.  waited till 11 am  which put the day in another time frame.   but when i got back, they were running and nothing broke.  OK.  January.  the tap in the bathtub MUST drip through the night.  OK.  Water MUST be daily changed and broken for the Goats.  no putting it off till morning.  Every day.  OK.  January.  the month of Winter.  

 

This is where i was when i found Spirit Cloth.  i guess 5 years ago or so.  a LOT led up to it, permaculture.  and it's no small thing, permaculture.  but it's a deep and wonder Full place to go.  and now...here i am.  back around.  i realized how lazy my mind has become.  and it could STAY lazy unless i intend to continue this daily blogging on beyond the 365 days.   if i continue,  i will need to talk about it.  because it will be The Days.   i take a deep breath and breathe out.  

an example.  the worms.  those worms that i discovered when digging out the Way Back gate.   

There are worms everywhere across the planet it seems.  but there are places where they are never seen because they stay to a depth that they are not exposed to the human view.  they rise close to the Earth's crust only when conditions are right to support that.  moisture, mostly.  Water.  and then secondarily, vegetation of some sort.  which occurs with moisture.  Water.  they then live.  and mate and reproduce and aerate the soil by this living and reproducing.  and they shit.  this byproduct of living and mating and reproducing adds nutrients to the soil.  Everything benefits.  the worms, the soil, the plants, the four leggeds, the wing~ed and the 

human beings.

Worms.  

i can't remember which year it was...it's documented somewhere in Picasa with pics...but i was here a long long time with no sign at all of a worm.   Coming from Michigan, i just assumed that there are no worms in the South West.

i was talking one day to the old man who sharpened my hoes for me.  i was talking about my sadness about no worms here.  he listened without looking at me, he was watching the edge of the hoe on the grinding stone,  and after a while he said..."they are waiting.  it's not time yet.  worms are under the whole earth.  you need to make it right for them."   maybe a year or two later as i was turning the soil for planting i SAW A WORM!!!!   it disappeared,  i searched and cupped it in my hand.  A WORM!!!!!  a WORM!!!!!!!!  

from then on,  not only for growing good vegetable plants,  but also, JUST FOR THE WORMS,  i hauled home so much manure from everywhere i could.  i mulched.  i double dug.  for the worms.  and there, in the Front Gardens, there came to be many.   i got used to them being there.  not so much a big deal anymore.  worms.  But when i dug in the Way Back which has remained all sand, all as it was from when i came here except for the Oasis in the middle...when i dug for the gate....i saw how the Goats living here is changing the Earth.  their scrap feed, their shit, mixed and pounded in with their hooves...everything here is undergoing a HUGE CHANGE.    

i can participate in that change, as a human being, or not.  Choice.  only human beings have

Choice.

Why?

i don't know.