i have no pics. it didn't occur to me till long after they'd gone that i didn't take one single photograph. it didn't even occur to me once they came through the gate. There were 5 of them. Patricia and her 4 Interns. They All came. Teaching Moment. I am still lost in it. So Much. and she doesn't say anything unless asked. Her focus was totally on the Scene. Totally. the Interns would say things to me, to eachother, sometimes to her, but she was Absolutely and Completely Focused, talking to the GOATS. she would laugh but to the GOATS. and my attention was glued to what she was doing. GLUED. here is a picture, on the last page so far of my notes in my stenographer's log of days....
i'll just leave this here for a minute. but it's the first Gesture. Hand relaxed, extended...a little, in a relaxed way toward which ever Goat you are focused on. They see it. they see your gaze, or FEEL? it? maybe both. but they know. they know it's them. and of course, you also say their Name off and on. but back to this later.
She decided to work in the OutBack where most of them are, just to see what would happen. i think now to see what it's like for me, day to day, with this bunch of Goat Women. seeing what i see. Finding out how that feels. she has a huge sense of curiosity. and she watched, just watched for a while. then we all went out and sat on the tree stumps in the middle of the Way Back.
Snowbunny, of course, greeted them as they came out the door to the back porch. Smelling each. Bumping into each. Was she checking their body tension? Some stayed back and away, some came near. but Snowbunny was the only one to make contact for a while. Patricia asked me about them, different ones and for whatever reason decided to work with Onday. but Snowbunny wanted to be first. P decided we would just use one of the stumps out there for the Goat to stand on and said to Onday, in a soft but bright voice....READY? and tapped the stump. Snowbunny jumped up. and so it was SB for a while. until she was so full of peanuts she got bored and went to lay inside a feed bowl to rest. Back to Onday. who, surprisingly to me, did not want to be touched. so as Patricia watches this, here comes Mercy. Onday's daughter. Hops up on the stump. so...she got the actual first full Thing. the extended hand, READY?, leg touch, D!, which is exclaimed brightly and a peanut given. this goes on a while....leg touching, and with successes, D!/Peanut. then READY? and leg lifted....a clip of the hoof. same routine again over and over and over. with each clip of the hoof, D!/Peanut.
after her front feet, she jumped down. and so the focus went back to Onday, who would now come toward but not make contact. this goes on and on and now, Mercy is getting between all the rest when they get close to Patricia. Arctica starts being close and head butting everyone else. Onday is still considering what she wants to do.
i could go on and on. because this is what is in my mind. i can replay it all, scene by scene. What ended up was Patricia asked me to go get some of their pellets which they love. The peanuts are rare and loved, but the pellets are everyday and LOVED. and she takes out a clicker. i should have taken a pic of the clicker...but it's just a little metalic and plastic clicker used for dog training. She begins again with Onday. READY? and extends her hand. but this time with pellets folded in it, facing downward. Onday says ok and nuzzles her hand....the clicker clicks and the palm turns up with pellets. okey dokey. this many many times. then hand extends, Ready? and she ups the ante to actually touching...running her hand down her neck or across her back. same deal, accepted and a click and pellets. Soon, Onday is putting her feet on her and needing to get down to receive the pellets.
but never up on the stump. that would need to come another time for her and Patricia. for me and Onday it can be tomorrow.
So...there are just a million small details that go together for the Whole of It. First...you always begin by ASKING. Extending that hand, READY? and if they're Not, they're just Not. so you wait and ask again. You spend a LOT of time waiting, Her way...a LOT. you cannot hurry. Hurry doesn't exist. just does not exist. and you are totally focused with what's going on. you notice details. not only with the one you want to do something, but you notice what all the others are doing while this is going on. She did say one thing, somewhere half way through..."They're so different than horses."...really, to herself. but i said how and she said because they are so interactive with eachother, so Other aware, so more Active than the horses. so there's a lot more i will remember. but for now this is good. and it also was clear that there needs to be a seperated off something for the one that is "Ready" to go into. to indicate that they are The One Ready and things are happening for them. out on the stump there was just a whole lot of milling around and as time went on and they all got more comfortable, a lot of pushing and interaction, making it a little rowdy. So, if i want to do this in the OutBack, i'll need to create some kind of little Salon. just of some fencing and bring the wooden Milking Stand out there. The milking stands indicate serious business for them. somehow, they understand that. just naturally. ????? and how a Salon would work, is that you would say a general Ready??? and whoever went in would be...IT. eventually, everyone would be Ready in their own time and all hooves would be trimmed. Once the routine is KNOWN by them, it will no longer require that immediate D! or Click and reward. they would just know and the reward will be the Knowing in itself and the scratching where they each like it best and of course, the extra pellets in the milking stand bowl. it will become...Old Hat.
so....DEEP BREATH AND EXHALE.
i have been kind of paralyzed, not knowing how to go about it all. Now i know. and ok. i can do this. It will Require TIME and FOCUS in this doing, but really, probably no more time and focus than i have spent feeling lost with it all. so...GOOD. really really really GOOD!
and an update on the Beauty Full Love Object of mine, the horse with the Sunset nose and Ghost Moon. i asked. (having been trying to figure out a way to talk Nelia into letting him come to their place). She said she's waiting for a 15 year old girl. that he needs a 15 year old girl who can give him EveryThing She's Got. To whom he will be THE WORLD. he's only 3years old. He needs and deserves Total Love. so...ok. I understand her even more. she's waiting for that girl to appear. until then, they will just wait. sooner or later. All is Well.
and before they came and after they left, i moved things around here. Looked and Felt.
I am looking very much forward to some focused Cloth time. this cloth is ...."Ready"
