i received something in the mail. from Maria. from far across an ocean. she makes bracelets out of her love of Friedensreich Hundertwasser. out of her Love. and i was sitting there, thinking how it is that this one is now in Polvadera, New Mexico USA of the 5th skin.
and i felt myself holding my hand up, that Gesture, facing Me. and i heard self say in a Bright and Soft voice.... "Ready?!?" and yes. i was finally Ready.
i unscrewed the hinges of the old gate, exposing the NEW and see through gate that the helping Guy had made maybe a month ago now?, probably. There was great interest. many screws were very hard to get out, it took a long time.
it alternated between Close and then Farther Away. They had no idea what was going on and i watched their Way of working with that Not Knowing.
i had gone out early. before i began doing anything, and talked to SnowBunny. Telling her what i had in mind and why. she starred off and listened. All the while of getting the gate off, she came and went, and i kept talking to her. Toward the end, when it was just about time, she layed down under the tree. But her attention was there.
When everything was In Place, i just sat down. outside the gate. she was under the tree watching me. Everyone else was milling. i sat until i was Ready. then i stood up, unlatched one of the gate hooks, made that GESTURE with my hand, and said, "Snowbunny?, READY?" AND SHE GOT UP and walked slowly to the gate. i unlatched the bottom and opened it, letting her through and said "D!"...which sounds more like Deet!, i guess, and gave her a peanut.
Hooked the latch and she was just looking around. Got the little metal bowl of pellets that makes good sounds and shook it while walking toward the Inside Pen....she came. D! a mouthfull of pellets. more walking, .... good, making it past the Salt Cedar tree even.... D! another mouthfull. The gate to that pen was already open and those 4 Goats on the Other Side with the back corridor gate closed...Snowbunny trotted over to visit the Bucks at their fence, but when i called her name she came. D! a peanut and Into the Front Pen.
SIGH!!!!!!. Part one. there is a lot of Goat Calling. a Lot. 19 voices. Calling. Wondering. i sat with her there a while and she looked around, remembering. she went inside the Albatros and met the other 4 at the divider cattle panel. lots of sniffing, rubbing. so let this happen a while. going back out to Both sides off and on.
Then...i unlatched the Corridor gate and let the 4 through. There was tension. The does began panting. their tongues were evident. but interestingly, it was mostly Caroline and Snowbunny. Some HARD head butting, a lot of maneuvering against each other. and Amazingly, Lucky Star, who i was most worried about did well. a LOT of rubbing her head against Snowbunny, a sign of Willingness to accept her Place, but also, she would rear up and meet Snowbunny, head to head. This was new. she's learned from her time alone with just Caroline. All the while, the two little girls were fascinated...staying behind their mothers, but right there in the thick of it. no fear. no fear at all and i took my cues from them.
to make a long long story shorter, after a couple hours i opened the big pen gate for Snowbunny and the Out Back gate for the others and they all came through. there was some running and milling, some visiting the bucks at their fence but after just a short time, everyone went in to the Front pen to get their afternoon food. All but Snowbunny. she had gone back to the OutBack to look around, see what had happened. but when i called her, she came and though she spent a little time thinking about eating the Salt Cedar, she did come. Hand Gesture. D!, handfull of pellets. and
IT WAS DONE. What i'd worried SO about for a few months now, was DONE. and really, it was all just OK.
at first it was like this...a lot of whirling and blurr
but then it got quieter, with a lot of Remembering. and i take my cues from the little girls who were not at all afraid. They are Goats. They have their own Way. it is a way that is hundreds of years old. i am learning.
and last, the Buck Goats who everyone has such opinions about....the Buck Goats just quietly watched. Commenting now and then. Interested. Very Much. But very much the Gentlemen, too.
and mid morning, this came...
for my great grandson, Julian. a little late for Valentines day after i mail it to him, but Heart to Heart, none the less. he has already expressed his wish to build houses. he know's the word Architect. this is his dream. he is 4 and a half.
