early this morning i remembered that i'd put a wool sweater i'd been given into the stinky walnut vat outside. days ago. the sweater is 100% wool. it was also chartreuse. probably the only color that makes me cringe. but a very good wool cardigan.
dripping excess back into the vat
this afternoon. almost dry. had to take it from this direction because of Sun in West.
East to West, into late afternoon Sun
Jude's doodle Wednesday seems to have seeded here. i think this is the second Wednesday in a row that i've drawn something in the morning? but not as a doodle, but to clarify a thought.
distilled. part of a substance evaporating, a more concentrated substance remaining.
3 times in the last month or so, i was thought to be very ill, depressed, or even dead. the very ill or even dead were local wonderings, the depressed came from over a thousand miles away in my Old life. this caused some wondering on my part.
Patricia commented yesterday about "putting language to things" and when i read that it connected with something that has been on my mind for a while. How i don't even make any great effort at language anymore. Here, which is now the only place i write, i find self saying what i want to say with the most plain and few words possible. For someone who always had wanted to be a Writer, this has been a change. but it has just occured. nothing deliberate. which then takes me to other thoughts. When i began reading Preparing to Die i was expecting to find so much that would cause me to question myself as i often have, about WHY i don't go forward with my Buddhism. For a long time i have known that i need direct Teachings. i need a Teacher. but once again...my life, specifically, the Goats now, have kept me from going toward that. So, i'd expected to have those same feelings again. But to my great surprise, i am finding that i HAVE been Practicing. i HAVE gone forward, a lot. Things that i only understood intellectually before have become just part of How it Is for me now. and this is a great great happiness. Distilled, maybe. parts of self just Evaporating. no direct effort. just the simple process of evaporation. and the little picture above...well...it's true, it's not much. just those things are my life. i don't go much outside them. and maybe i'm seeming to go more Toward them. Toward only That Much. it's pretty small, i'd have to agree.
