going to put this all here and then just GO ....OUT.....and watch the day fade into Peace. then sleep and dream.
this is how my BeLoved dog Chinche is experiencing things. This summer is seeming to be hard on her. She sleeps. Often now, when i come home from Away somewhere, i get all the way into the house before she realizes it and she is Startled! until she see's it's me and then is embarassed and glad at the same time. and talking with Granddaughter, we determine that she is probably 12 years. Maybe 13. But this has surprised me. I guess because of the comotion of the 3 little dogs until their deaths some months ago, i just hadn't noticed. I just hadn't noticed that she was also Just Going. Chinche.
And i went, this morning to look at the Maybe Dog. I got lost. Talk about living in the middle of Nowhere...the woman Jan who is a dog trainer....
off and over the Rio Grande, down that road and at the Y in the road, turn, past the only dwelling and down and dirt road and watch for the double pipe gate. Neighbors have pipe gates, but singles, and the lock will be off but come in and close the gate behind you and go, go, go until you see the house. It's in a Salt Cedar FOREST. and there....over to the left, where her sheep and Goats are,
there, going around is a dog. Dog. dog.
Dorothy, an Elder, who created the sane and humane Animal Shelter in this county is there too. She has fostered this
animal
since she was a very small pup. She is now almost a year. Her rabies papers say her birthday is July 5. Dorothy, who as with all Shelter animals, has named her a dorky name....Misty.
so, here is Misty. I don't know what i had imagined from the garbled cell phone conversation with Jan the dog trainer...but it wasn't
Misty.
Misty is an Australian Shepard X according to her vet papers. She's a Blue Merle...With Rust.
a blue merle with rust. she had one of those crazy eyes...but in her, not a total blue eye, but a half moon eye. I extended my hand and she growl/barked backed off. We went then to another part of the Salt Cedar forest and threw her a ball. First Jan throwing, then me and she, soon brought it to me and licked my hand. Three women, a dog. the Focus was on the dog. dog was unsure.
WHY. Why am i doing this? Why. i think of those words of Ramana Maharshi or Nisargadatta Maharaj....DO NOT ADD. I can never remember which of them said it, but .....DO NOT ADD.
this is a BIG. BIG. add. Tomorrow, the Elder who is OF the animals, Dorothy, will bring her here. We'll see. I am taking myself In Hand, reminding self of those words, Do Not Add, reminding myself that impulsive doing can CAUSE so much that is unintended. Dogs. Their Willingness. Her ....willingness. She is really...Beauty Full. she looks like a hyenna. all brindle, grey and black and with that crazy half moon eye. But she is so much MORE. a Sentient Being. that i am thinking i can WEAVE IN. Weave in to an old dog, and old cat, a herd of 19 Goats and me, really, old too.
so this is a big day.
