The first is the momentary kind that comes Unbidden and suddenly presents itself..., like hearing the call of the Cranes yesterday, out of nowhere, just there in that SKY BLUE SKY...the feeling. Or seeing a pic of Giana Lily Alluvial Fan on her father's facebook page, that funny smile, her eyebrows arched, and a tiny white rim of her first TOOTH.
or working away today, having No Mind when there is that Brain Alert: STOP LOOK and i look around and there....on just the next weed, this Friend. The JOY to see her. The JOY to sit quietly with her a while. We looked at each other long. Then to come in for the camera and she had waited.
The Second Kind of Happiness. Getting Things Done. Doing and Doing Well. Maybe called HouseKeeping, but this includes the entire Diorama. Mindfulness in the Mundane. Living like i do, there is always more to be done than possibly can be. So there is this steady mindfull Just Going. Not sporadic, but the key being ... Steady. Every Day. and This i think is my Greatest Happiness. It's a quiet and plain Happiness. It includes Cloth Making. Clothmaking is OF this kind of Happiness.
and i think the question arose the other day because there are times when i get phone calls or bump into people and they ask what i'm doing and really, i don't have an "acceptible" answer. Well, there's the Goats and my Cloth Work. and just keeping up with the OutSide, and the Inside, too. And often it's said, Well, when you get rid of the Goats........ with the idea that then i can DO things. Go places. Get Involved. SEE things. Meet NEW things. Different things. And really, maybe finally, i am truly coming to terms with the fact that i don't Want to, all of the above. That i like my mind being quiet and able to look long at one thing of interest at a time. That i really DON'T want to fill it with sound and movement and Otherness. And if i went anywhere, it would be with the dogs to the Canyon or over to the River. And that it's really just OK and FINE. And i don't have to feel lacking because of it. It's how i am. It's really, how i was as a child. A lot has gone under the bridge inbetween, but here i am. Happy with my own company, doing nothing much really.
it started with a test Fire. Going OutSide and looking at the chimney pipe to see if there was good draw, and yes. so ok.
The Corridor behind the Albatros from Back Pen to Middle Pen where the does are sometimes.
Now closed off. No fraternizing.
I'll dig trenches and sink cement blocks and bury the legs of these so they are maybe only 3 feet tall and then set the Wooden thing i got through FreeCycle atop it so that a Guy Goat can jump up and feel Good. This Far North Pen is right next door to the current buck pen. Separated by maybe, oh, i don't know...20ft? Close. So, like when Buckwheat was in here, they can stand at their fences and yell at eachother. I had tried to raise Sunny Ray and Nogal to be more well rounded Goats. But they're not. They're only what they are. Buck Goats. And i am letting that be ok inside myself. It's always been ok to them.
This is the little porch to the opening into the North side of the Albatros. Which will be closed to them. But it will be a good place in inclement weather. It actuall is the most sheltered place here. I'll put some straw under it.
the dark at the bottom is the bottom of my jumper. This is how CLOSE Tay is almost all the Time.
weeding
checking to see if she got the root.
But she did, also, do a lot of stick work. Carefully selecting certain ones (that i had originally piled neatly by the fence) and moving them about, kind of decorating. Some she took for herself, the curved long ones, took them to some where else. I ran over one when i brought the truck in this eve. Sorry.'
And i realized that this is what was so upsetting to me in the beginning when she first came. How i was so used to being Alone and suddenly, there was this Energy right in my space. But, it's now just "the" space and we both occupy it and it's become just ok. We work shoulder to shoulder. It's really more than ok. It's fine.
