in her comment on yesterday's post, Patricia said...."how steadfast you are." And when i read those words, i was full of feeling. Full of ....what? Full of i guess Thankfull ness to be thought of as
Steadfast.
how beauty full is this, i feel. Steadfast. Steadfast. I don't know what all to think of it yet.
But then, the day rolled along and into its Self and i finished everything with the Dog cloth and rolled it into it's mailing tube. Taped. Addressed. Ready.
and all the while, i thought about the word Shame. I thought about it because there is a very vibrant and vibrating Thread that is wanting attention, wanting movement and wanting me to See it and Come with it. It's very alive. It has to do with why all of a sudden i had wanted to send this Dog Cloth.
I have no clue, really, what's going on. None. But i do know that this has come up over and over with this Dog Tay. Most dogs you can shame. You can tell them they are a bad dog and they cast their eyes aside, their tails droop. They stand...waiting for some indication that they are forgiven. Tay does not do this. and it has been of interest. Only a few times i have tried to "shame" her by telling her she is a BAD dog. It doesn't work. She stands there. Totally focused on my face, totally Alert and stares at me. I "hear" her saying ..."What?" She knows what i'm talking about. And sometimes she chooses to accomodate me by not doing, so much, what i tried to shame her for. But really, sometimes she decided to continue. Many things, and the really important things, she understands easily and finds reasonable. Accomodates these things. Somethings not. And i watch myself loving her for this. As she stares into my eyes asking "What?" i stare back, until i get over my annoyance and just, well, love her. Her body softens. She puts her head on my lap or against my hip. Done. and we just go. So what does this all MEAN? She doesn't have any sense of being a Bad Dog. and also, really, she is not at all impressed by me saying Good Dog. That rolls of her like rain. Good Dog/Bad Dog Doesn't mean a thing. She's Tay. She likes Love. She likes herSelf. She likes Just Going. She likes Just Going the most.
another passing of this Thread. This is from Michelle...her holiday card...and so. I go back. I go back to Clarissa Pinkola Estes, Women Who Run With the Wolves, to Baba Yaga. I will go back to Baba Yaga's House. Ok. so and Ok.
This is also from Jan.
"from Anam Cara by John O'Donohue. pg. 94
There are endless stories about ghosts and spirits. One finds an enthralling weave of stories about the independence and structure of the spirit world. The human body has come out of this underworld. Consequently, in your body, clay is finding a form and shape that it never found before. Just as it is an immense privilege for your clay to have come up into the light, it is also a great responsibility.
in your clay body, things are coming to expression and to light that were never known before, presences that never came to light or shape in any other individual. You represent an unknown world that begs you to bring it to voice. Often the joy you feel does not belong to your individual biography but to the clay out of which you are formed. At other times you will find sorrow moving through you, like a dark mist over a landscape. The sorrow is dark enough to paralyze you. It is a mistake to interfere with this movement of feeling. It is more appropriate to recognize that this emotion belongs more to your clay than to your mind. It is wise to let this weather of feeling pass; it is on its way elsewhere. We so easily forget that our clay has a memory that preceded our minds, a life of its own before it took its present form. Regardless of how modern we seem, we still remain ancient sisters and brothers of the one clay. In each of us a different part of the mystery becomes luminous."
