« January 2015 | Main | March 2015 »
it's done. Picked up Grass Hay, looked at pics of Ethiopia.
Home. 4 days Home.
one Goat. i thought it would be harder. but it's not. it works. that little brown one on the middle bottom...in accordance to Patchwork Beasts, Jude Hill. "In person", even better than this pic. The simple shape with just a few stitches "reads" Goat. am Happy. Happier that tomorrow i can just SEW stuff. Me. Needle. Thread. yes. Tomorrow. the love letter to Goethe. Ok.
the Three Cloths
this one now, re named....7 Crows and 7 Goats a Love Letter to Goethe
Last evening, Judy Keathley sent this:
"Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation) there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definately commits oneself, then providence moves too. All sorts of things occur that would never otherwise have occured. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favor all manner of unforseen incidents and meetings and material assistance which no human could have dreamed would come her way."
Goethe
And i sat stunned.
The three Cloths are connected, that's why there are Three for the first time. It began long before, really, with talking about Claiming a while back, but came into "form" with the Joys
the first one above on 2/5/2015 post Joy. All the small joys. That are just there, floating, to be noticed or not. but There, nonetheless. The common joys that appear and reappear and weave the reality of life.
and then, the odd collection of CatHairFragments that "wanted to be" and i realized were about Transmigration...
and inbetween the Other one that "wanted to be"....the 7 Crows and 7 Goats. They are all part of the same. Claiming.
I don't know how evident it has been or not over the last while, but i have been uhhhh, struggling?, well, that's too dramatic a word, but something like that, i have been working with trying to find some Place to BE with the possibility that the daughter might Never come for her Goats. And i have been becoming more and more acutely aware that i need to uhhh, find a place to be IN with that, in the not knowing. In leaving the possibility OPEN that she WILL come, but also find myself a way to FULLY live in what there is NOW and not let what there may or may not be in any future change what there is NOW. This is the first Cloth. The Joys. These fragments of Joy are HERE. Right Now. Every day. This is where i need to LIVE.
the Transmigration is WHY.
the Love letter, well, love letters are love letters. and here it is.
This morning i called Charlotte at her work up at the Magdalena Schools, up the mountain, because i didn't have a home phone for her. I told her that i had replayed our conversation in my head and that i Wanted that piece of land next to me. I told her that the Old Cowboy that i take care of is Failing and that he has said so many times that i am in his Will and that he hoped that when he dies i will buy a new trailer house and a new car. And i told her that i don't want a new trailer house or a new car, that i like the ones i have but that i WOULD like to buy her land. That upon his death, although i don't have any idea how much money there would be, but some, and upon his death i would like to use that money to buy her land. Cash.
I said it.
I said it Out Loud.
in the past, whenever i thought about the possibility of some money coming that way, i have always thought about splitting it up, however much there might be, and i don't know, but splitting it up between my kids. My two kids and my grand kids.
but suddenly, yesterday, and saying to Dee that maybe i would marry my life i thought...NO. I will buy that land. I will buy SPACE that will ensure that these Goats can be here, in the event that they have no where else to go, in the event that the Daughter has changed her mind. I will buy that land. I will buy that land. Then, last night, and still as i write this in this moment, it feels
Selfish
but that is something i am going to have to work with. So i told Charlotte that i want to buy that land that i would have cash at some point to do that. She was Glad and said YES and so we have a Woman to Woman Agreement. She will keep it until i can buy it. And i am a little stunned.
this is the first time ever that i have more than 2 Cloths working at a time. Most often, only 1. Three!
it's an interesting experience.
Transmigration
Seven Goats and Seven Crows
Work Away Day so not a lot done, but Enough understood.
the last of the CatHairScraps.........fluttering on an extremely Beauty Full warm soft Wind. And to all who are bowed down with Cold and Storm, i will hold this for you, as i hold You All in my heart during these days. Cynthia, in particular, where it is very Severe.
still there from when the kids played restaurant. But somehow, the castle tower got in there????
someone from last summer
while i was separating and finger pressing the scraps on the kitchen counter, these went together. I have NO idea, but something about them. And i am really liking using the Hoop for looking, for just Looking, pinning, unpinning, looking. It's big, but not so big that i can't put it on my lap in those early before daybreak hours
this one off the hoop cloth. Ready to baste.
there is a SunSet i just saw. will be back in a minute with that.
and i am putting this Out. I am saying it OutLoud into the Cosmos. When i was waiting for the Old Cowboy's Green Chili Cheese Burger the other day, my old neighbor Charlotte came in. We talked. She still owns the piece of property adjoining me, extending to the corner. She lived there when her kids were little, now lives on her family's land in Magdalena. She was telling me that someone had inquired about buying it. and, unlike in the past, she considered it.
So i am saying here.....it is my Intention to be able to buy that acre. Not necessarily to do anthing WITH, but to not be required to do anything i can't do here. Or, can't do without a lot of heartache. The buck goats are over on that end. This very easily could be an issue to new owners. I'm not ready for that, ready for what that could entail. And even though i might just let that piece of earth Be, anyone who comes here after me could easily use it for horses. It's big enough and including this place, would work. So, i say this. Out Loud. However it can, i would like this to happen.
this morning i reached in to the basket that holds newspapers in the far left under the sink counter. I can't see down there, just stick my hand in and feel for them under the saved egg cartons. Way down. and brought out the last of what i have. Very few. That i dropped on the floor by the Morning Chair and began twisting the usual four pieces needed to start the fire. There was a single page and as i was about to begin to crumple and twist, something said stop and i looked and there was
that Face
that form
I COULDN'T BELIEVE IT.
last year my friend who brings the OLD New York Times had brought a batch from 2013 which included one full piece of a 5 piece series on Homeless Children in NYC. It was part two in the series of 5. I was mesmerized and over the course of the next weeks, she looked and looked but could not find the other 4. Over time i gave up and sent this one i had to my granddaughter. Off and on i thought of Dasani, 11 years old, and her Family. Out of the blue, now and then.
This morning, here was a single page, both sides, but not complete, of the last in the series of 5. At the bottom, " Invisible Child Last in the series about one of 22,000 homeless children in NYC. The New York Times began following her in September 2012 when she was 11 years old and living at the Auburn Family Residence in Brooklyn. This series is based on interviews, official records and video taken by the Times and Dasani's family." The journalist is Andrea Elliott.
nytimes.com/Invisiblechild
i googled.
There as if by magic was the entire series. It took me almost 3 hours to read.
My granddaughter and I have several "topics" that are OnGoing conversations. One of which is the Wondering about how it is that we find ourselves uhh, drawn to, magnetized by, attracted to certain things and people. Lately it has leaned toward people. About how there are many different schools of thought, from karmic relationships in buddhist terms, Caroline Myss' thoughts of Sacred Contracts, and old astrologer friend of mine who believed that we bring with us into a birth, those persons who can assist us in our "goals". that we come as a "constellation of souls" partnering to manifest mutual Purpose. and on. Granddaughter, Alyssia and i, don't go at this with the intention of coming to a conclusion, but rather just as a Wondering. a Wandering of Wondering where we add to our fund on our mutual rolodex as we go. We make no conclusions. This is important. No conclusions. which lets it continue, Just Go.
so i saw this. Out of the corner of my eye, the corner of my brain
Dasani. This 11 and then 12 year old girl. To Whom i have an unknown, unexplained affinity, recognition, attraction to.
If i could, i would fly to NYC. I would find the journalist. I would find Her. I would just want to stand in front of her, to look at her with my eyes, to tell her that although i cannot make any sense of it that she, her story, her words, her Beingness, has Great Great MEANING to me. And that's it. Nothing more. More might happen. Who knows. But maybe not and if not, that would be enough. I love her. Not as a child, but as a human being. as a Soul. a Soul manifest in her world of birth. I would present myself as a Soul manifest in my world of birth. that somehow, Recognizes her. and that that recognition Helps me. again, in an undefinable way.
and i continued with the CatHairScraps.
there's another pic. of the last of the Pile of them dumped out on the kitchen counter but i can't get it to download. The airwaves must be heavy with Valentines Day wishes. so this is enough.
this morning i reached in to the basket that holds newspapers in the far left under the sink counter. I can't see down there, just stick my hand in and feel for them under the saved egg cartons. Way down. and brought out the last of what i have. Very few. That i dropped on the floor by the Morning Chair and began twisting the usual four pieces needed to start the fire. There was a single page and as i was about to begin to crumple and twist, something said stop and i looked and there was
that Face
that form
I COULDN'T BELIEVE IT.
last year my friend who brings the OLD New York Times had brought a batch from 2013 which included one full piece of a 5 piece series on Homeless Children in NYC. It was part two in the series of 5. I was mesmerized and over the course of the next weeks, she looked and looked but could not find the other 4. Over time i gave up and sent this one i had to my granddaughter. Off and on i thought of Dasani, 11 years old, and her Family. Out of the blue, now and then.
This morning, here was a single page, both sides, but not complete, of the last in the series of 5. At the bottom, " Invisible Child Last in the series about one of 22,000 homeless children in NYC. The New York Times began following her in September 2012 when she was 11 years old and living at the Auburn Family Residence in Brooklyn. This series is based on interviews, official records and video taken by the Times and Dasani's family." The journalist is Andrea Elliott.
nytimes.com/Invisiblechild
i googled.
There as if by magic was the entire series. It took me almost 3 hours to read.
My granddaughter and I have several "topics" that are OnGoing conversations. One of which is the Wondering about how it is that we find ourselves uhh, drawn to, magnetized by, attracted to certain things and people. Lately it has leaned toward people. About how there are many different schools of thought, from karmic relationships in buddhist terms, Caroline Myss' thoughts of Sacred Contracts, and old astrologer friend of mine who believed that we bring with us into a birth, those persons who can assist us in our "goals". that we come as a "constellation of souls" partnering to manifest mutual Purpose. and on. Granddaughter, Alyssia and i, don't go at this with the intention of coming to a conclusion, but rather just as a Wondering. a Wandering of Wondering where we add to our fund on our mutual rolodex as we go. We make no conclusions. This is important. No conclusions. which lets it continue, Just Go.
so i saw this. Out of the corner of my eye, the corner of my brain
Dasani. This 11 and then 12 year old girl. To Whom i have an unknown, unexplained affinity, recognition, attraction to.
If i could, i would fly to NYC. I would find the journalist. I would find Her. I would just want to stand in front of her, to look at her with my eyes, to tell her that although i cannot make any sense of it that she, her story, her words, her Beingness, has Great Great MEANING to me. And that's it. Nothing more. More might happen. Who knows. But maybe not and if not, that would be enough. I love her. Not as a child, but as a human being. as a Soul. a Soul manifest in her world of birth. I would present myself as a Soul manifest in my world of birth. that somehow, Recognizes her. and that that recognition Helps me. again, in an undefinable way.
and i continued with the CatHairScraps.
there's another pic. of the last of the Pile of them dumped out on the kitchen counter but i can't get it to download. The airwaves must be heavy with Valentines Day wishes. so this is enough.
I have nothing. This has been an Old Cowboy Week and today the grand finale when we went to have a squamous cell carcinoma removed and then to pick up his medication then to the bank because his account had been compromised. 6 hours today of Constant Monologue. We split a green chili cheese burger and fries and i Escaped. There is nothing left of me.
but i can offer this TIP. If you have a catch and release no kill mouse trap, i have found the Ultimate bait....a sesame stick with butter on one end and peanut butter on the other. This morning i had ..........FOUR...... mice. FOUR! I couldn't believe my eyes.
Good night now.
the reference to having become too Literal... I went back in the pics in Picasa looking for two things and gave up yesterday but tried again today and found them.
this was the Daughter Quilt....back in the Weaving Jude (Hill...Spirit Cloth) taught in 2011. I hung it to the beam that holds up the ceiling from the house to the ROOM. I actually wove it and invisible basted it standing on the ladder.
what i was actually looking for was
this. Which was in the center of it all. How spontaneously it happened...as a total surprise, rising from the Patch Work Beasts. Jude again.
and then this one. Again, spontaneous and Wild. still from 2011.
so looking for these, i watched 5 years flashing by in photographs.
this second one here has a little more sense of the dimensional quality i want to keep here. So the color is not exactly true. I wanted to look at the Terraine...how to keep that quality somehow with the stitching. But also, looking back i find self looking at how i have come to be uhhhh, committed to the EarthScape over time and less to personal internal image. I'd like to combine these. But i think to do that i need to go back to Beginner's Mind. First just looking but then seeing if i can WORK in that place again. I don't know if it's possible. I'd like to find out.
And this applies all around, this thinking about Beginner's Mind...it applies to this blog, it applies to how i perceive my life in general. Spring is coming and it's time to begin again. I'd like to begin many things Again. So i'm Looking.
too literal. i have been stuck in too literal. Anything can be Anything at All, can be Everything.
so, continuing to look at this, i suddenly remembered
this. An embroidery hoop. 18" in diameter, 3/4" deep. It was behind that big dresser. I'd gotten it from the Thrift Shop on a Ten Cent Tuesday way back when Jude was doing the Weave workshop. I thought i'd use it as a frame for weaving, a kind of loom....but never did and just stuck it back there. I liked it because it's so plain.
it's really great for just fooling around with scraps...they are easy to pin...just to play with the shapes and colors
there was no real intent here, because it was such a gray day and i couldn't really see how the colors were, but i just put stuff and really, i think i like it a LOT and i will need to wait to look again tomorrow when Sun will return, but i LIKE this. I like it a LOT and i like whatever it seems to be Wanting to be?
and i made Paneer, Panir, with Jan's oh so very very good Goat milk, so rich and full of cream
the wheelbarrow Rusts. I like all the very subtle changes in shape. The color, yes, but the Changes, more
Nothing has to stay how it's been. Can be completely different. And maybe only for a day. Or, The Time Being, and then can change again, change Back or to something else entirely. Even very small things.
i like to keep the very SMALL scraps in shallow flat baskets. Easier to see. But as i am still pinning and drying all those Cat Hair scraps with no end in sight, i realize i don't want to do that again. And no matter how i try, those flat shallow baskets will forever appeal to Tazmeena. I'd rather do other things with hours of any day.
and still, in keeping with Dana's THINKING on organization, i had freed this basket from the shelf in the bathroom. It had been full of outdated things....Bach Flower Remedys from years ago, old travel soap containers, hair clips that i haven't used in YEARS, Neosporin tubes with exp. date of 2010. Ok, i have an empty basket. What to do with the basket? Does it have a New use here?
ok...it's Deep and not any kind of place that would appeal to Tazmeena, but also is deep and not good for looking at very small scraps. Deep enough to keep them clean, but too deep to really See them. Thinking about this,
thinking about this, my attention was pulled to the very Large flat basket that normally is just standing on edge against the vent of the swamp cooler doing Nothing except disguising the vent of the swamp cooler. Kind of a purpose, i guess
but it's Big and i thought that i could take out handfulls of the very small scraps and put them there to look through and maybe make something of or not, but maybe and i could then put them back in the Deeper basket and prop this one back up to disguise the swamp cooler.
It really can go any way at all. It really can go any way at all, for a minute, for a day, for a year, for for for
Things can be Anything
