literally translated in sanskrit to be Means to Accomplish Something.
I finished watching and listening to the Blessing of Mortality Workshop that Michelle sent, Ram Dass, Joan Halifax and Frank Ostaseski, with Rameshwar Das. Many times this thing of Sadhana came up as Practice toward a Goal.
As i've said, every one of my days begins by calling the Old Cowboy to see if he answers the phone. If he doesn't, the plan is for me to drive in there to find out why. So far, he has answered the phone. This may go on for months or maybe even YEARS, Who Knows, but i agreed to it. I am his partner for the Long Ride. And watching and listening to these Souls speak of Life and Death, i realized that this will become more and more the center of my Practice. By Going with him, i will take myself. The learning will be our ride. I don't remember which of them said it: "welcome everything, push away nothing. we don't need to like it, we just need to meet it." I'll begin listening again and take notes this time.
So i called him this morning and we had pretty much the same conversation we have every morning. A report on his night and how difficult that was, how many times he had to wake up and pee, how hard that was to accomplish, how his head is full of stuff, (mucous), and feels like a base drum, how hard the coughing is, the breath less ness of that. Then into whatever it is he is dwelling on, still the Money thing. Then we drift into me saying well, if we could stop dwelling on the Money thing, maybe we could feel free enough to use his new wheel chair to take a walk around the block. He doesn't know. That sounds like "dangerous territory" to him. And at the end of all the Usual this morning, after listening to Ram Dass, Joan and Frank, i just took a breath and was
silent
didn't say "well, OK, talk to you later" Was just quiet.
and he started up telling me how he tries to get up early enough on Sunday mornings to see the
"colored guy" on TV
who goes all kinds of places. That today, he took him to all kinds of beautiful places where no one lives any more. And then to a place where they have Alpacas...he didn't know the word, by context we figured out Alpacas, and how they showed all the really beautiful things they made from their wool. He was animated, telling me this. It was quite wonder Full, really, that he had something to tell me that was beautiful.
So this is my Goal. The Goal of the Sadhana. To be more and more OPEN. To Let what comes, Come. Open to it. To Welcome everything. and today, to understand that it takes time for Everything to appear.
i like looking at it from a distance. Get more of a sense of things spinning Off
couldn't get the color True...but good enough. I stitched the "kite" down...Invisible Baste, Jude Hill. I need to take it on and off the wall. And forwhateverreason, these initial scraps need to stay in place. There will be more. But these created the Beginning and need to be as is.
