windthread

which direction to point my self in

yesterday was the one year day from when the Old Cowboy died.   The day he opened his eyes and looked me square in the face and left me here while he went On.   and off and on i found self telling self that "it's Ok",  after a life time of responsibility and work,  i could really make good use of having a whole year, even,  to re~orient.   and i'm not sure at all where i am.  but the year is up.   ok.

 

first thing this morning i roasted chilis and peeled them.  the fragrance............Only in New Mexico,  these chilis.  Really.  Only here.

 

and then i made coleslaw.

My son called me late last eve.  He's a Chef.  like, a real one.   He'd sent a link to

lifeandthyme.com   the migrant kitchen     Food in LA.   i watched the two episodes available a bunch of times.  I LOVE watching people cook whose deepest passion is Food.  It's better than sex.    Watching people cook.  How they use tweezers to oh  so CARE full y place a small sprig of something on the bowl of food.  Food.  And i was awash with thoughts and images about Growing.   Growing enough FOOD to feed a Family of whatever sort.  Enough FOOD.   Permaculture.  Keyhole Gardening.  FEEDing people. I  "asked" to please dream this.  Dream this growing and cooking and feeding.  I didn't.  But tonight, I'll ask again.  Who knows, maybe.

 

i think,  how like a cocoon these pods are.   The waiting for all the private and  internal things to transpire and at some point, suddenly................they are among us.  Kind of the opposite of the Old Cowboy,  who spun his cocoon and went off into it.  Maybe death is like a cocoon?????

 

in the midst of all the Magic Diaries work,  the thing of 

Magic

rising,

i needed to make a small cloth and it was about Magic,  how Magic is always available,  hovering,

to simply Call it

 

how things tell their own story

today,  the pods are a much more pale green.  Are they thinning?

 

this morning it was clear,  no hesitation,  she carries that symbol of Magic...those 7 black/white/black beads with the single small African blood bead,  that tassel,  over so many years the symbol of Magic,  magic being All that is Unknown and Unknowable but clearly "here".

SUN

Jude's SunMoonStars....Jude Hill   Spirit Cloth

I thought to day about how i Image SUN.   Rarely i found out,  is it something round,  is it actually a form of its self.  For so long,  Sun has been Colors and Light,  a lot of times,  Deb Lacativa's cloth,  the beauty full brilliance of her cloth.   And often there have been the "rays",  lines spiraling out, growing larger and larger,  taking in what all else there is.  

On this Magic Diaries Cloth,  i looked at how i had depicted Sun and for the most part it was Color,  which now has faded.  So i have an opportunity to re~Vision Sun.

 

in this "room",  there is the night sky on the left....the large and small white orbs being stars.  The right, the Moon,  with Wind scudding across.

and then, really, ALL  below is SUN...that Sun Bird of straight line threads,  the seed heads of the grasses and really,  the eye.  All to me are Sun.  Sun is Life.   For me,  everything is made of Sun...

maybe it's because i live in the desert............

?

I was given this plant last year.  I kept saying,  Thank you,  but i really don't want it.  and she kept saying that i would like it a lot.  When i drove away from their house,  Plant was on the seat of the car.  All last winter i barely watered it.  Not necessarily on purpose,  but sort of.  I am not good with house plants.  As i type  those words,  i stop and think what i'm saying.  I am not good with house plants.  

A plant person is a plant person.  hmmm.

 

something is about to happen.  maybe a week ago i noticed two very small bumps on what appeared to be a stem...today...,  like short Okra.   So i have gone to look at them many times today.

 

Toad.  The piece of cloth this was part of rose up in a basket a week or so ago.  I studied it and saw this small image....Toad i thought but then let it go because it's very vaguely an image of a Toad but it has remained Toad.  So.  Toad. and with violet coloring,  like the Iris Tuber Forest where they live,  come and go from.  Where they winter over.  So, purple because of that.  And then...

 

arms.  What does her right hand do?  And if arms,  then,  feet.  With arms,  she is mortal.   They are of graphite,  pencil.  I can take them away right now.  If i "bleed" them in with turpentine,  they will be permanent for a while,  how long is not known.

 

 

 

anything at all

today was Work Away and then Cat Duty at Allan's with the new addition of the just delivered 10 new chickens.  Not a lot of time for cloth,  but before i left this morning,  as i looked,  i saw that a scrap had somehow made its way and  though it's not one i would choose,  i placed it on Her.  What i realized with this is that i really can do Anything on this Diaries Cloth.   It really is for my eyes and heart only other than when it appears here.  It can

change.

or,  stay exactly the same.

but it can

continue

through this Time now ....Until.

and when i got back home i looked more.  I really like these long female figures with only bodily form and a face.  Something about that is important to me.  That there is no Doing necessary.  Just the Being,  the still Being.  But i also thought today that that could Change.  On the right,  Her left,  you might be able to see the most vague impression of an arm.  And because of the miracle of the camera,  IF i gave her arms,  she would still be here,  for me,  in her original form

 

roots

and sitting OutSide,  envisioning the roots there,  trying to FEEL how they might be woven together under this Place on the Earth.

how more comes from loss

if the  color had stayed,  would there be any of this?  

 

 

using the Inktense pencils to give some of the color back...a perfect way to Learn them

 

she became grounded by her mantra and then rooted.  How a cutting can be taken from a root sometimes.

Aleppo

i pray.  i don't have a god to pray to.  but i Pray,  nonetheless.  I pray to the vast humanity that i am a part of that i am the same as.  I pray that somehow the things in Aleppo can  STOP.  

going back to look, but, seeing where i AM

i went Back.  Looking for the beginning.  Finding it in late summer, 2011.   I've written that down because i'm not good at timelines.  

I found Spirit Cloth in September, 2009.  Wouldn't you know,  here it is September, 2016.  Seven years.  Although i don't retain dates,  i am reliable about an internal repetition of seasons.  Cycles.

This Diaries Cloth.   Had been following all the online work with Jude...Jude Hill and this Diaries Cloth,  i wanted there to be space.  Other than that,  there was no order or preconceived thought.  Things appeared as it went along.  It's when i began to understand Just Going.

 

 

 

i put this here because it was amidst these pics in Picasa.  Not one of these Goats,  but one at an event the daughter and i went to in East Mountain.   She still was here in N Mex,  still had the Goats with her.  I loved the eye and a Goat eye went on the cloth. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

things moved and changed and settled and the online workshops continued and i continued,  the Diaries rested.

 

 

i saw in this orange cloth a shape of a figure kneeling in meditation.   This was still during the time of working to put myself back together after the death of that person i was married to.  This Place in the Cloth was about Taking Refuge,  about going back again to seeking refuge in the buddhist teachings.

 

 

 

so i come through the Gate and arrive here.  I look at the figure that has faded so,  and with pencil,  mark her.  And i look how the  "frame of things" around her is cut....broken.  An opening there for things In and things Out.  So this now.  ok.

and just as a reminder to self...the Archives for this blog go back and begin in April of 2010.  Before that was a short time with Blog Spot...from February, 2010...in the transition to typepad,  those months were lost.  They were important months,  the beginning with Cloth Making,  the beginning with becoming a student of Jude's.  So something to remember,  take note of.  Stuff can be lost.

 

 

Equinox

felt by All who breathe on the Planet.   I sat at the Raft,  in the middle Oasis,  in the weeds.  Sat in the weeds.   Now we turn.

Yesterday was International Day of Peace and there was no mention of that in the Google News.

 

 

Side Oat Grama,  Blue Grama  i see them today in the Way Back Oasis as i dump and refill the Goat water.  How they have remained determined in their small way.  Tomorrow i'll look in the Middle Oasis.  There has been Side Oat Grama there before,  maybe now?  I haven't looked.

 

back on the wall.  Where does it stand?,  the Gate?  how does it fit

with all the rest?

 

 

the Gate.  What does it Mean?  What?  What does it mean?

 

in the lower left.   Where it will Go Through in the Upper Right, to the Other Side.