today somehow seemed a Perfect compliment to yesterday
rain beginning during the night and continuing. As either Rain, or drizzle, or mist, MOISTURE. Everything is soggy. Air is soggy. Earth is soggy. Soggy Desert. Grey. Overcast. Socked in.
but somehow it felt just ok. i don't know why....it's not at all my usual response. and instead of my usual response For the Goats, i just went with the feeling that we will be ok. Hard today, but changing to back to the Okness, soon enough.
This seems to be applying to everything. The sense of easing into What Is.
So i spend the day putting everything back in place that had become a whirl during the falling of Tree, the getting Christmas in the mail to the kids, the setting out to the Refuge. during those kinds of days things fly about. Today they were all put back. There is order. It's quiet and gentle.
Lizard began to become. Available Light wasn't much available, so hard to see. But begun. and i stitched without any preconceived image, no lines, just letting the stitch go where it would.
i talked the other night to my oldest friend from when we were 4 and 5 years old. She called. Lives in Texas. We exchanged the usual family update and then wandered in to the present...and it went the way i had imagined it might and didn't look forward to. She sends stuff from the internet that she likes, mostly about dogs or animals. emails. no words of her own. and i had responded a while ago that Thank You for these but i was having a really hard time lately with the direction things are going in this country. Kind of as a warning of my state of being. So...she knew. And as the conversation delicately went, we found ourselves in a space of quiet difference. Neither in the mood to directly Challenge the other, but it was clear that she was sad for me that i am buying in to the Climate stuff. She wanted to reassure me that it's not Real. That everything is Fine. i felt self becoming very still. Like an animal is still, a rabbit maybe, with a hawk overhead. Still like that. Alert.
i know there was no use in disagreeing. and really, it was a good experience to have because i know her so long. and i know that she is a good human being. and to listen to her say what she said, i couldn't imagine her as some kind of adversary/enemy to me and my sense of things. She is just her and we are as far apart in this as people can be. And it became the perfect example of what we face in this country now.
and this is exactly what is so frightening to me. How are we going to Work It?????????
no one is BAD. but there are consequences. How are we going to Work It?
