i woke this morning in the midst of a Feeling.
WIND began during the night. I knew it would, Nat'l Weather Service had told me. Gusts to 45mph. and it was...Wind, gusting, like that point in giving birth...Transition...when it rolls, relentless.
so that all night and still upon waking and i just had some kind of Feeling and it stayed all day and i keep wanting to Identify it but it remains illusive...does not want to be named...just felt.
and because i was, well, Feeling it, i thought if i drew something, i might Know something, so i got a piece of printer paper on the clip board and the 6b pencil and, how it goes, just touch the tip of the pencil to the paper and let the pencil move...so lightly on the paper, so so lightly and there it was, what came, that house form in a small forest of trees, the door is open...not accurately represented, but who cares, the slope roof, a porch of some kind where there is me and Tazmeena and Tay sitting on it and a path and then i wanted to put some rocks and then i wanted to stack some rocks to be a Cairn to the left of the door and i did that,,, the pencil barely touching the paper but i STOPPED...something.......and walked away and came back and it was not a pile of stacked rocks, the Cairn, but......................eeeeeeeeeee, it was the Magician! What to think? I don't know.
and on the left of the drawing a kind of Lean To...to the left of the house thing, sort of attached, but open just very open but a roof and open sides....this i want to make myself. After i get there. A small covered outside space for dye pots, is what i imagine in this moment. sticks as "rafters"...to hang things from?????? But OPEN.... Maybe where the Magician actually..."lives?" Where the bells hang?
so i had this drawing and i've come and gone from it all day but still can't identify the FEELING. ok. I'll wait.
you can double click it.
and i stitched stuff down. Jude's invisible baste [Jude Hill Spirit Cloth] and i just am IN LOVE with this...that the scraps are only so very vaguely representational, but represent so much and because this Cloth is for me, it's ok....nothing else is needed and the feeling of stitching them...their wrinkles...their abstract sense is just so incredibly FINE...i want to understand more about this
and there on the floor
a strand of ripped cloth shred...i love it, how that happens, that a strand of ripped cloth shred will throw itself on the floor so i will NOTICE it...pick it up...NOTICE it and it's the greatest Grass thing which i stitched down too
and i called the Dept. of Ag in California...Sacramento...to find out what is needed to transport Goats from New Mex....we go through borders, like immigrants. N Mex to Arizona to California. There are border stops at each point. What kinds of papers do i need for clear sailing. What kind of Vet certification. Daughter Jenny already did this once but year to year things change. Don't want any hitches that would create a mess. So...began that. Somehow it's attached to the drawing in the beginning, where me, Tazmeena and Tay are sitting on some kind of porch. Looking Out at a different world. Maybe this last line is a clue to the Feeling?
