partly because it was work away that seems to be taking more of a toll recently. I just don't Want to. and it took forever, it seemed, because in the last couple months, like today, Bill is home. He semi retired himself. He likes to talk to me. So, when i'm scrubbing the bathtub he says things from over there and i can't hear him, so me and the rag have to get up and go out into the hall and say WHAT???? Part of it is because i have KEPT their house for going on 15 years now. and that i'd kept his mother's house, Alz. B, and then i kept his mother herself in her 3 years at the old folks home, and how, the night she died, we both sat there with and next to her and then walked, the rest of the night till dawn, the streets in town, just walking and feeling it. and i have known all their dogs, he and his wife Nelia, a few horses that are gone now too, sang them the Dying Song and helped him bury them. and how he has many times fixed my plumbing and has watched me here, built that overkill beam over the place where daughter Jenny and i cut through the wall of this trailer house and made the ROOM out of a screened in porch, helped me with fencing when the Goats were coming. He does the oil change in the Honda. I gave him my Datsun pickup, Blue Bird, because she either ran perfectly or not at all. 50/50. He is a geologist but also loves mechanics. BlueBird is his welding truck. He met me and i began housekeeping there when i was still married to That Person, he met him, knew him just some, but he knows me from those days when i was Wary of anyone knowing much.
so we have History. there's a Lot More. But just to say
and before i went there this morning i walked the perimeter of this fence that creates the sovereign state of Here to repair some slats of that fence because of a couple dogs that appeared yesterday, frightening the Goats. as i did that i realized that if i took a pic of that Other side of the fence, i could give You a real sense of the Kochia. What Kochia IS here. How it is all consuming. I'll take a pic tomorrow morning, so You can get the drift. I didn't have the energy for it this eve. There was a TON of rain to that storm last night. It's 90 something and humidity is HIGH. All the feed tubs for Goats swimming in stinky feed water and needing hosed out and Gideon's tarp leaked...i need to muck his little hut out and fill with new dry straw , buy him a new tarp tomorrow.
and the Kochia grows. You'll see. now the Pig Weed too.
any Way.
i didn't want to go to Work Away. I don't want to have to deal with this abundance of Kochia.
and i can't tell if it's because i am 71 this summer?....that's OLD. or OR if it's that i am knowing i will be going soon?, to a place where it's very different? I don't know. I can't know. and i'm trying to work out how to Work it, whatever it is. Because i AM here
and
i AM here. Here. And as i was just out feeding and filling the water tubs there was the most amazing Black and White dragon fly. I ran to get the camera but it was no use, s/he wouldn't sit for a photograph, flitting here to there, this side of the yard fence to that, but so so so BeautyFull
there's just a LOT. a lot of stuff.
