windthread

still conflicted

since birth.

an afternoon of that thing of it being like watching a slide show of still images....projected on a white surface,  ... pic!  pause....pic! pause....pic....etc.

i  can't be coherent about it all.  I guess because i really just don't want to now,  just want to make note of it.  Because the most recent August just passed and we need to Go into September.  so just a couple things to note.

Tina emailed a question about one of the photographs that are in the Handeye article about Wendy Golden Levitt's work with Textiles and Children.  It's on Jude's Sidebar.   Was it my cloth?, she wondered?...and Yes.  The photograph is of a childs hands gently set upon a cloth that they had draped atop a drum.  It's the Tay cloth i sent.    The Handeye mag's date is 2010 and i could not really believe that it was that long ago???  But that doesn't matter.  What does matter is that i went back in Picasa files,  thinking to look for it there...i have no printout....but it quickly became overwhelming and i returned to the blog,  thinking to look in the Archives,  which if you click Archives,  go back to 2010.  and i looked in the month of August,  2010 and that stopped it all dead in it's tracks.  Only looked at a few pics,  one of which was of the Hoop House that daughter and i built where the middle Doe Yard is now.  Like a whole different life,  a whole different world.  Which it was.  and Is.  The photographs of that August....oh, eeeeeee.   I stop and stare off...what has happened??  WHEN did it happen?  What really IS IT that has happened?  

One thing i would GRIEVE so so deeply is if i somehow got lost to all the years of Picasa...there are hundreds of pics there that are just magnificant to me and the only record of this Place.  I ...here's that word....i  only HOPE to make it to California with all this computer stuff intact so they can Tech me safe with it all.  It hangs by a "click".

and back to that photograph in Wendy's article.  I see it in my present frame of mind,  which is what,  i don't exactly know,  but needing to distance from things,   but with this pic,  there is no distance and i remember the Lizard Cloth that so many of the children have used,  one in particular who went on a walk with Wendy,  out through the nearby woods.  Along the way,  she fed the cloth lizard some berries,  leaving small red stains,  but said not to worry...to Wendy....they would wash.  and on the way back,  she buried the lizard cloth at the base of a White Pine tree as her grandmother had taught her.  They sat.  for a while.  until it was long enough,  brought the cloth up from the earth and returned.  These images in my mind called into question that distancing....because in so many ways,  i am so much the same as Wendy's children,  still,  and by being that,  feed my soul.  

soul

soul of me,  soul of planet

and there's just so much,  i guess it's overwhelming sometimes.  

 

and isn't it interesting,  how it All Goes...how i am suddenly putting pics of the Other Side here...

this is how far i got today.  

the OtherSide,  the Front,  is what i "make" of it all.  This side is how i travel to make that Image.  both are critical to a Life.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

more Gaia

ok.   This has been put away for quite a while but now...maybe?   The piece on bottom right from the hand of Dana,  Raven and Sparrow.typepad, today with a human figure

the ground is walnut dye from the pot OutSide a couple years ago,  and old worn very thin soft muslin and the markings so soft and subtle,  which present the challenge...how might it be possible to work anything into and with a cloth like this?   Maybe it can't happen?   But interestingly enough,  Deb's dirty threads give me a glimmer of possibility.  I want to try.

 

the Other Side...can you see the threads?  maybe a single click?   but it's begun,  the invisible baste, in earnest,  and  as it goes,  i am AGAIN on my knees grateful to Jude Hill for this MAGIC....i think when she uses it,  she takes a very small but visible stitch...but i took it as literal...invisible and on the Face of the cloth,  there is nothing to be seen of it....i put the needle back in exactly where it came up,  but most,  almost always,  a thread gets caught and holds.  Invisibly.  but holds and the JOY of melding the three separate cloths into ONE never fails to bring such pleasure...the FEEL of it,  the "hand".  And in this cloth, so much so because of the softness,  both Front and Other, the softness of the muslin.  

so am here  early this day because there are so many things needing done OutSide here and it remains in the 90's....since May....or even April?  i've forgotten,  but for a loooong time.  Both earlier and longer than "usual".   But the things still wait for my doing.  No getting around it.  

 

 

more thinking...

if Gaia,  let's just use this "name",  if Gaia,  the Planet,  and that includes Everything,  includes  human beings,  human beings no more no less than any other microbe,  bacteria,  the whole of the enveloping atmosphere  of the Whole is somehow

ONE SYNERGISTIC SELF REGULATING COMPLEX SYSTEM.

 

if this.   going to the life experience of the "smallest",   the least complex,  going there and noticing how there is such intense and grand modification, evolution, accomodation of need that is required,  Morphing,  just adapting.... and maybe we can imagine even

Healing.

Maybe.  The human body can be ravaged by disease,  by destruction,  and  it also can and sometimes does... HEAL.   Bacteria can be almost descimated but somehow morph and adapt....and continue

is this not possible for Gaia?   

and really,  all these wonderings come from an old woman,  somewhere in a desert,  having lived through less dangerous times,  having young generations that are loved,  having a 4th generation infant female....and old woman,  so much wanting to tether something to Hope.  

Healing.  How can Healing even touch the edge of it all?  But how can i not hope for that.  I know that healing can happen.  

 

returning to this.   the piece in the bottom right from Dana.  a scrap.  The whole of it,  open space for wandering.

 

this one.  in the Shop.  5" X 10".   

 

 

 

how things might seem contradictory but then maybe not...there's so much

back in the early 70's....James Lovelock...the Gaia Hypothesis

i can't find it.  and maybe it's gone.  but there was a publication that had a synopsis of this...i had it...where did it go?  Maybe it's in one of the book tubs, for moving,  or maybe it went,  in one of the purges????   But it has remained strong within my sense of things since then

so we will just rely on Wikipedia for now...

"the Gaia Principle proposes that organisms interact with their inorganic surroundings on Earth to form a synergistic self regulating, complex system that helps to maintain and perpetuate the conditions for life on the planet.

in 1971, microbiologist Lynn Margolis joined Lovelock in the effort of fleshing out the initial hypothesis into scientifically proven concepts,  contributing her knowledge about how microbes affect the atmosphere and the different layers in the surface of the planet.  She objected to the widespread personification of Gaia and stressed that Gaia is "not an organism",  but an "emergent property of interaction among organisms."  She defined Gaia as "the series of interacting ecosystems that compose a single huge ecosystem at the earth's surface"

Gaia

Earth.

 

so this is where i want to STAND right now....this one,  even more...the Primordial and Eternal Feminine.  It's so exhausting,  all that is unfolding,  so much and i look at the exodus of Rohinga from Myanmar,  just for example....in contrast to the uhhh,  well...whatever,  here....flood,  mud.  walking,  needing water,  needing food,  needing Ground....on a Planet.

 

the thread beads...Jude Hill...most easily seen this way

 

but the color...most true, here

 

 

maybe tomorrow

i wrote a whole post and somehow,  it disappeared.  So i accept that.  Maybe tomorrow i'll try again.