so it's not about leaving. Leaving is in the mix. The love of Gideon and his death is in the mix. The Mix is climate change and how that is manifesting around the planet. Leaving and Gideon are like the largest ingredients in this time, heated by the California fires. But also in the mix is the Feral Family, under the house. Time may be getting short. I've felt this now for many days.
What to do? the undercurrent amidst many.
and to be startled by her face, there....the mother cat, appearing on Gideon's Cloth...but then, no surprise, really. could be said to go back to some days ago when thinking about the Beauty and the Unbeauty...how they are the same and really....neither Gideon's beauty or hers is more or less.
non~duality
where to begin.....about a week and a half ago, Tay was licking and licking. I looked and
a dime size raw spot. perfectly round. When Travis was here to help bury Gideon, he looked and said, beyond a shadow of a doubt....Ringworm. brain goes WHA! but immediately i think of Rat Boy. the dots connect. But the Mother and these 2 kittens show no signs of anything. I Google. Cats can exhibit no signs and be carriers. Carriers. I go to the feed store and carry on a conversation with Jackie there that spans 4 customers, all with their own ringworm stories and i feel less diseased. and i buy what they sell for it and
use that on my wrist...same left wrist as Tay. What i thought i was scratching as a spider bite turned out to have a lovely red CIRCLE around it. How did it get to me? i don't know. so i use the feed store stuff for livestock on mySelf. it's drying up. no longer itches. There are many home remedies for ringworm but it creeps me out. so i go for the big gun. I don't use it on Tay. She will lick. it might be Toxic. wait till she has her appointment for her shots.
ok, so ....the All of it. This morning there was a strange banging and clatter and i opened the door and looked and Tay was at the wooden slats that are around the under house, but she was right there at the bottom of the steps of the front porch and totally focused and body rigid and lashing in and back, in and back was a long thin arm of a cat with the markings of a cheetah....trying to rip her face. Tay cried....not whining, but really crying, not understanding what was happening. Mother Cat is extending her Space. No longer in the Way Back, but coming forward. Coming into even,
Tazmeena's space. Old Tazmeena. who has in the last couple weeks given up going under there and needed to find a different place to shit....for the first time in 20 something years. But stuff changes. Right? Right. she accomodated. But the Mother Cat is pushing it. Beyond what feels like "fair". But what do we know.
Thread beads. Jude Hill. So slow going. Black/White Black/White until it becomes One.
non~duality. One~ness. All same. Learning. Something to take with me to the Hill where there will be so many new and different things. Time to learn now.....as we go.
