since that post of April 1, the MOON post, Fixed, i have thought. Slowly. Thought by thought. slow. going back, then going forward. I said i was fixed. grounded. HERE. Finally Here. What did i mean? and there is an immediate and easy association to that meaning "home". Am i feeling "home"?
that word. Home. what exactly does it mean if you stay with it for a long slow time? Home. and no, i don't think i have a feeling of home. And if i go slowly back, there is that Other Place. If i go back in my mind's eye to that Other Place, is it "home"? Was it "home"? if it was, why?
Am looking at that word, and all it conjures, which is huge, wanting to really understand it. And maybe "home" isn't something at all
necessary
in the ordinary sense of the word?
Maybe i would like to be fully Present, in each moment, in this Place. Maybe i like feeling Fixed. Grounded. To this earth. I would like to be fully Present, with a curiosity and Openness to what it is that is evolving every day? and not give it the name of home, which somehow feels like i am reducing it to something Known, something of the past? What if i don't need to name it, but just live it?