so i have this Time.   Alone,  to do with what i Will.  

the first since December.

I am haunted by an image.   Slate,  first,  an article by Dahlia Lithwick  that Mo linked for Dee.  But since,  different places.

the midsection and legs of a young woman,  being searched,  in headlights.  It's night.  You can't see her arms but know they are on the vehicle...up.    At her knee is a child,  girl child,  maybe 2 years?  Pink jacket,  pink shoes.  The child is crying.  I can assume that the child is crying because she wants her mother to pick her up.  The mother doesn't.  The mother can't.  The child will never understand why the mother didn't pick her up.

I  took a nap today.  The good kind.  20 minutes,  mid day.  The kind of nap that allows me to wake....Cleared....wide eyed,  knowing nothing and slowly focusing and realizing where i am.  what i am.   I worked at the hole i am digging for daughter's Hydrangea plant that her son,  my grandson,  gave her for mother's day.  it's late to plant it,  but...better late than never

Earlier in the morning,  i cleared Campsite B.  Picked everything up.  Put things in their two respective tubs,  bagged the junk that they seem to be attached to...the energy drink containers,  chip bags.   It's ready for early work tomorrow.

I hauled down two bucket loads of Goat manure and placed it in the Wall Garden,  gently,  around the plants that grow there.  Gave water.

I walked up and over the top of this Hill and cut some few twigs of Manzanita to add to the jar outside the door.   Bundled some scraps and submerged them.

late in the day,  washed my hair with the Outside hand held shower thing,  at the back of this travel trailer,  the water there heated by the Sun.   it's for camping convenience.  

Way back in the morning,  during tea,  I listened to the latest On Being pod cast.  I wasn't going to.  I felt too raw and didn't want anything gentle and civilized and kind.  But i went there and Frank Wilczek was being interviewed..a theoretical physicist,  mathematition and Nobel laureate.  Who has written a book called A Beautiful Question:  Finding Nature's Deep Design.   It was a beauty Full interview and though i don't imagine i will understand much about the physics,  or the references to mathematics,   what i heard him say,  I KNEW.  I knew to be How It Is.  I knew it to be How It Is since i was a child...watching dust motes,  watching the flow of the creek.   I ordered it from Amazon.  along with some whole cardomon seed,  taking me over budget for this month,  but WTF.

late in the afternoon i stood,  thinking i hadn't accomplished anything today.  I looked at the Refuge Cloth on the wall.  I thought about how i imagine mySelf to be a cloth maker.  So i went back into that bedroom here and began pulling out scraps of cloth from baskets.  What "wanted" my attention?   All the while,  i'm seeing that young woman,  the girlchild.  Thinking,

what good is this thing of cloth making?   

I have no answer.

Alyssia and Emrie missed their plane on their way to Texas to see Emrie's father.   Their luggage went on but all A had was a backpack.  They had to sleep in the airport.  It is conceivable,  given the present tenor,  that passengers might be....uhhh,

detained.

Alyssia is brown.  My daughter is me...light,  blue eyed caucasion.  Alyssia's father was black.  She is brown.  Her married name,  to her son's father who is Puerto Rican,  is spanish.   Emrie is brown.  Her father's name is spanish,  El Salvadoran.  Both Alyssia and Emrie's father are veterans of the United States Navy.  it's where they met.   8 years ago.  But it is conceivable that she might be detained.

detained.  

Emrie,  taken from her.  Like the child taken today,  while breastfeeding.  Emrie breast feeds.  Taken.  For how long?  How long would it take to figure it out?  What would that mean to Emrie?  Why was her mother not there?  Why was her mother not picking her up?

This is Happening.  Like in Germany.  When people were taken to the showers.  The children HERE IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA are said to be taken to be "cleaned up".  They don't return.   WHAT IS HAPPENING?  We are heading head long down a slippery slope.  No amount of protest will change it.  So.....WHAT can we do?  Maybe nothing  .  or?