windthread

Sun day

I read it.  sometimes only a paragraph.  Sometimes a few paragraphs at a time.    I do this because he,  a scientist,  a winner of the Nobel Prize,  a physicist,  He and i have the same question.  

"Our question is a most natural one, in the context of spiritual cosmology.  If an energetic and powerful Creator made the world, it could be that what moved Him--or  Her,  or Them,  or It  --- to create was precisely an impulse to make something beautiful."

 

 

 

i needed some string to tie up a ball of cloth for the oak gall pot.  All my string is over and down the road at the Storage Place.

i thought to look in that shallow basket that accidentally was brought here with those few baskets of cloth,  the shallow basket that has needles and old reading glasses  and i thought just maybe there might be a thick thread so i got to it and looked and

yes,  there was just  a short,  but long enough piece

but also,  folded carefully in the bottom was what?,  i pulled it out and unfolded and oh,   eeeee.   From i guess 7 years ago?  or so?  From close to the beginning of Jude's workshops,  Jude Hill,  Spirit Cloth,  from the beginning for me,   8 years?  And this was something i wanted to make for Wendy Golden Levitt,  for her to wear when she was with her children,  I had just come to know her too,  come to know her children and i wanted to make her this "prayer shawl"  but i didn't know how to go from here and as i looked at it today i realized how much i have learned from Jude,  how much confidence i have now in What Ifing,  in Just Going and i am so so energized to continue with it.

Wendy looks here.  So...Wendy,  just forget what you are seeing.  

and i almost forgot,  how interesting....

i did what i have been afraid to do.   This Hill is steep.  I have old vehicles.   I have been walking up groceries,  ice for the refrigerater,  dog food etc   when alyssia isn't coming.  when she is,  i unload it at the bottom of the Hill,  at the gate,  and she loads into her SUV.  If she is not coming,  i walk it up.  Using Emrie's stroller.  It would be a good UTube movie.  Old woman with wine cantalope and dog food going UP HILL in stroller.   The Honda car has some kind of rear wheel issue.  it's a 1986.  I need it to last as long as i do.  Am not pushing it.  Sunny,  the Toyota truck,  1983 however has no issues.  But i have been afraid.   You have to Just Go and not stop.  Go.  I have been afraid.  have chosen to walk.  or depend on Alyssia.  It's been put off.  How i am.  But today was the day.  OK.   and we did it,  Sunny and i and it was really no big deal.   Done.  And now will be just how it is.  And i look at this.  How i am with fear.  That it's fear until i face it and then,  it's no longer fear.  Pretty easy.

when Goats are set free

 

what does that mean to them?  Free means Free,  right?  like,  anything goes.

over There

.

this is one of the paths that can be taken.  There are a couple.  I can never decide because really,  they still are hidden almost until you begin going.  I like this one the best tho.  It is from the top of C and goes pretty much directly down.

 

 

to this very large Rock.  Which has no name yet.  There is a tendency to call her the Grandmother Rock,  but we don't,  for no known reason.  She is just Rock.  Maybe the size of a Volkswagen beetle.  Big.  Just there,  in one of the sunlit small meadows.

 

 

 

 

you can see the pine cone...it's atop the Mole's burial site.  The pine cone is the size of a pinapple.

 

 

looking down from the Rock,  the kids spinning swing that is at the edge of the forest and the big meadow of A.  It's a great swing.  about 4ft diameter,  i can  lay on my back and swing or spin,  looking UP and into the trees.  It takes you to a different Place.

feeling

 

 

 

feeling.  There is some kind of shift this morning...season.  It's turning.  and i will be here,  in this Place of such extraordinary Beauty.  Where Life vibrates at such a High Frequency.  Feelin a little crazy with it.

This human being has learned to walk.  She walks up and down a hill.  She walks among Goats.  Eats fruit off the bush.  She is often covered in dirt from the Earth.   In this snapshot of her yesterday...taken for no reason,  later, looking at it when she is gone i am struck by this face....that in it is the Whole of some Soul that chose this incarnation, a face that could be any age,  One or 30 or 50,  but she is One and is being weaned from her mother's breast which is causing  her Great grief.

I post this early so i can come back and look again throughout this day.  Now i need to Give Water to the little personal garden at B,  bury the mole,  walk with the Goats.  Watch the Sun's light spill over the Hill.   This Earth.  This human life.  oh,  eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

 

what i am looking for. want to learn. to know, to understand.

whether it is of the Plant People,  or of mammals,  or of reptile,  or of of of of....the Beings.   There are so many specific and very singular qualities that have evolved for such singular and specific and elegant reason.  I want to know more of this and to be so  Stunned by it all that i fall to my knees and it is the only thing that can come from my mouth....the brilliance of it,  the Magic,  the THING of it that has occured on this Planet over so long a time...to celebrate.  To give Love.  To want everyone to SEE.  To KNOW.  

to CARE.

to LOVE.  

this morning as i woke and read here,  in different parts of this world,  things.  Things that women are thinking.  Looking at.  It seemed that it was heightened.  intensified.  from so many directions,  I felt a PULSE in the thread that has been woven over time .   And as i was feeling that,  there was a flurry to the left,  out the Morning Window.  Puppy had "something".  Large.  Going out,  i saw this Being.  still alive.  and came back in to get a cloth to gather it with,  a Deb Lacativa cloth of soft sky and i did that,  without thinking.  Just in response and i thought about it later and thought maybe i should have NOT,  should have left things to a more efficient suddenness....???   Hir nostrils still flexed.  There were "surgical" punctures to hir head and then the back of the body,  torn.  Blood.   But not dead.  I think now i should have left Puppy to her work.  But i didn't.  And i was able to see this Being,  so so specialized for it's work....those hands.  Those amazing hands.  Mole.  The word mole is soft to my mouth when i say it.  Same as the softness of it's fur to my fingertip.  Mole.   I have never seen a mole,  in person,  before.  Mole.    How so many Beings must live here and i might never see them.

 

 

 

because i have not put a pic here,  doesn't mean this Cloth has not been in hand.  Kantha  back and forth on both sides,  East West.  Back forth.  Now almost enough,  almost right,  the bottom being left open,  like the tibetan flag,  open on one side so anything can  go/come  in or out.  Tomorrow will probably bring the finish of the stitches that Hold.  And the Interior can begin.  So many flashes of image about that. Crows fly.  Overhead.  Speaking.

free.

this is my best hot weather life shirt.....work shirt.    Cotton/Linen.   the exact right combination thereof.  Trying to catch Cinderella it got ripped the second time.   Same piece of fencing caught it and the L shape rip.  Once.  Twice, bigger.  Trying to catch a Free  Goat.

 

 

mend.   ???   but there is this piece of cloth,  ok.   As Is.

 

 

a not good example of Integrated Applicae.    How do you spell that?  applicay?    Whatever.  Integrated,  JUDE HILL.  meaning the stitches begin sometimes and end sometimes beyond the piece that is added.  Here,  causing puckering but if i hold it to the light,  there are many small points of light.  Because the cloth of the shirt is so open/old woven.  I like it a lot.

it began Friday and then all through the weekend,  into Monday.  Finding a way to secure alfalfa feed that is needed for the buck Goats.  Secure it from ravage of the doe Goats who are

Free.

we do what is needed.  There is such urge to go forward,  move on.  But we do what is needed.  Often repeating.  FENCE issues.

last eve,  it seemed it was done for the moment,  details are too much to put here,  but it seemed ok.  And i went down to feed Talkie the Chicken,  to feed the buck Goats and i opened Talkie's gate and BAM!  GOATS  coming in/through....into Talkie's Yard which is small where Alyssia had set a feed bowl of alfalfa on top of a new trash can that holds a 50 lb bag of sweet feed that we hope will help Cinderella.   IN!!!!!!!!!!!,  like IN in NEON

my greatest worry was Talkie's nest....not getting squashed 

i ran up and turned on the hose,  ran back and grabbed it on the way and putting my thumb over the flow,  sprayed them OUT.  and we got it over with.  No squashed nest.  Buck Goats fed.    This morning i went back out to clear the way of stuff,  in case.  But there has been no In Case today.  All is well.  The Free Goats were just nicely Free.  Listening when i called Come Come.  Coming and browsing,  clearing food for a Fire.  Give and Take.  However it goes.

 

just pencil and paper

madia elegans

 

 a dicot.  an annual herb native to California.  Habitat,  slopes  Family asteraceae

maybe it will burn. Maybe it never will burn. it's where we Live.

 

 

 

Alyssia had appointments today at the VA in Sacramento.  Kids were here.  Julian, almost 9,  his first day  back from his father's in New Jersey for the summer.  

Emrie is enamored by her brother.  

 

i got this book for him,  for us,  for the library of the Hill.   He likes it.  we talked a lot.  Different things.  He brought up Home School....saying...they can't teach me how to live here.  He's unsure about eating the eggs of his Chicken.   Are they her children?  We talked.

Talking with a 9 year old  can wear you out.   I was on my way down  to give water to the Wall Garden at A and stopped to sit a minute on the Hammock at B.  I fell asleep.  Sitting in the hammock  at near dusk.   I awoke and 

"they said"

drawing is how you witness.  Cloth is how you celebrate.

the chronic intermittent Lament

all that,  yesterday,  nothing new.  it's a familiar place,  that Wishing.  Wishing i would be how i am not.  

To be an artist,  an artist of anything,  requires devotion.  Requires that whatever it is,  is Primary in your day.  As it is for say, Jude,  Mo,  Judy Martin.   Their day circles their Art.  It's what they Do.   And i understand that,  fully,  but it doesn't fend off the intermittent lament.   i know there is the Potential.  in me.   But reality is i love too many things.  And most times i am ok with knowing that but sometimes....

today again,  i needed to be the Goatherd.  They are wary of going too far.  If i go ahead and call to them,  Come Come,  in that bright voice,  they do come.  And as long as i STAY,  they stay.  Goatherd.   I need to figure out a way to take the Cloth Making stuff with me.  so i can sit in the forest somewhere and Work.  

this Plant person is the next i wonder about.  As with Her,  this plant has evolved particular seemingly unusual qualities.  My sense of it is that there is REASON for that.   The stalk that rises above all the leaves is Tall.  Plant is maybe 6ft tall?  a little more?  Why?   

there was some chaos.  I fed the buck goats their alfalfa early.  I needed to go to the Lakeside store for ice and Buckwheat was yelling.  He has finally found himself having feelings about all those doe Goats running loose.   And i 

forgot

to cover the feed wagon with the tarp before i left.  When i got back,  there was OOna...IN it,  chewing away.  She'd jumped into it and there were others around,  waiting for an opportunity to do the same.  I turned on the hose...up behind the Travel Trailer and walked back down,  used it to startle her OFF and  covered it once again with tarp and bungie cord  and had to sit there a while because everyone that was waiting their turn needed to see that there wasn't going to be a turn,  they had to look, climbing up with their front feet to see that it was closed.  The wagon,  which is Big,  had gotten pushed ahead and over the tree root that held it in place.  First thing in the morning,  i need to see if i can reposition it.  So it doesn't roll into the Buck Forest fence.

Cinderella has something going on with her udder and butt hole.  We have been trying to apply medication.  She runs.  Alyssia spent an hour yesterday wrangling her and finally into their Rain Shelter, captured and sprayed with the medication.  She has kept to herself for a while now,  not going out to forage.  Has become thin.  Spent a while this eve,  watching for an opportunity to give her pellets while the rest were otherwise occupied.  They can hear a pellet a mile away.  Finally,  success.  Tomorrow, that will be easier.