windthread

ready.

i finished.  The Wall Garden.  All the compost has been spread,  smoothed.  Except for the Broccoli, Cauliflower and Cabbage.  Alyssia is still engaged with them.  I'll leave that to her.  And the onions.  same.  Leave that to her.  But otherwise,  it's

Ready.

now,  just behind the top of the Wall.  where the vine plants will go....squash,  watermelon  but that can wait.

 

they came at the end of the day,  to pick up Julian from his school bus drop off.  Alyssia changed the outside batteries that provide the electricity for the ignition of the propane heat.  Emrie had to wait.

We washed Sunny Ray and Jack Flash's water bucket and filled.  Checked their Tent Shelter.  It's Good.  Washed and filled Talkie's water jug.  Checked her rice straw bed.  Good.  Alyssia brought up the large bag of dog food from the Honda car,  also the cat litter.  After they left,  i changed that...the cat litter.  Good.

We are all seeming to be paying attention to Weather.  I receive updates from California Weather Blog.  Next 4 days,  RAIN,  sometimes deluge.  WIND.  Gusts.  We pay attention.  And we just go.

compost in Place.

around strawberry plants.   We planted two single plants....they are Many .  They "winter" well.

 

 

finished about a third of the whole.  There are

MANY WORMS in the new compost,  but also in the garden...when i'd move a rock....worm.  JOY for me,  these friends

 

 

and a volunteer Storks Bill,  Crane's Bill.  probably 16 or more inches diameter...blooming a little and already some seed pods.

 it's surprising really,  that there's only one....maybe more will start from seed.  

it was maybe 62 degrees,  passing clouds in a Sky Blue Sky.  Tay lounged at the edge of the hill there.  Puppy napped at the base of the Young Fig.  There were now and again bees.  The tree frogs have begun their 24/7 singing.  Goats were doing something else.  PeaceFULL.   Friday begins big Wind/Rain for some days.

Wendy Golden Levitt sent a link to a Utube... Toshiko Takaezu  Portrait of an Artist.  

 

and then,

partway through the stones,  this happened.   

What will this story Be?

almost finished with the kantha,   and suddenly...Stones.  Not these particular pieces,  but stones.  There will be stones.  I'd not thought of stones at all,  but here they will be.  It's been a long long time since i've stitched down stones.  I think of Karen Ruane's work,  so long ago in Jude's Online.  How so Beauty Full that all these threads remain,  waiting for a particular moment to appear again.  I think how i use that word Beauty Full so much,  but i try to think of some word or way that is better,  or at least,  not over done,  and then   just say

Beauty Full.  because that's how it is.  Beauty.  FULL.  

 

 

this Day

Worked most of the day at B,  the two new Dye Plant Beds  and when tired,  i walked down here to the Wall Garden,  at  campsite A where Alyssia will sometime live.   Sat and Looked.   How it's READY.   How I'm Ready.  

this is JANUARY.   January ,  the end of.   And look at this.  

there was the smallest of small BLACK,  totally BLACK lizard.  Lifting its right hand up and off the earth as it looked at me

 

compost. ~~~~*~~~Compost~~~*~~~~

 

 

as we used to say in the 60's,  Trippin.  I am trippin with the thing of Compost,  the thing of Time,  the thing of seeming to be just waiting.  The thing of seeming like nothing is happening.  So many thoughts that they arise so fast that they never become complete,  like,  a full sentence,  they appear and are "seen" and before they might have a period at the end of their sentence, they move on.  Compost.  They are compost.   I don't even know what to say about it all right now, except it's just Great.

GREAT.

remember a while back when i said i should be in therapy now?,  well,  Wish Come True,  my dreams.  Oh, my dreams.  How i have always said i should donate my brain to science because of how i dream and now...how great,  here i am,  70 two or three, i'm not sure,  but my dreams have stepped Up to do the work...no longer are just crazy,  but  crazy with Purpose.  I can't try to make sense of any of this here,  it would take up so much SPACE and unnessasarily so,  because it's all just COMPOST,  but  all the stuff, the partially conscious baggage,   that stuff that's down in the corner of a deep pocket like Chogyam Trungpa  talked about,  or was it Sun Bear?,  no Chogyam Trungpa,  that little ball of stuff that we reach for now and then through our lives, the little ball of shit with lint all stuck to it,  that Wendy Golden Levitt and i talked about being there,  the small shames....

anyway....COMPOST.   ......~~~~~*COMPOST*~~~~~  I LOVE compost.  Literally and figuratively and spiritually....LOVE.

Jenny and her man came today to put up the fence around Campsite B.  Half of it is finished.  I really like working with them.  It's Compost.   And she brought that compost that i saw on FaceBook,  the woman who had horse, goat, chicken, duck and guinea pig compost....a year old...bagged in feed bags.  I'd asked her to get 10 bags,  she brought 14.  Ten for the Wall Garden and then i got 4 for B.

and they left and i had time left to stitch some of the kantha kantha kantha on this Cloth and to look under that flap now and then at the "thing being born"  and FEEL it....how nothing is ever wasted.  Nothing.  It's all compost.  Everything we label good and bad,  everything we label worthwhile and not ,  something or nothing,  it's just labels and it's all just Glorious COMPOSt.

and the cauliflower.  the  Bless~ed cauliflower.  Here it is.  January.  We direct sowed seed in May.  Late.  The plants grew.  and grew and grew.  Leaves.  Leaves that we harvested over the months for those stir fry mornings.    When did i stop watering down there,  in the Wall Garden?,  September?  i don't know,  but thinking the "season" was over.....and i didn't look for a while.  How long?  maybe 3 weeks?  And today,  as we brought those bags of compost in....oh!  OH!...like OH in neon,  Cauliflower.  Only this ONE,  modestly sized,  but many little ones,  and how i'd given up on them but they did not quit,  but continued toward their Becoming

 

 

not how it was supposed to go, but rather, a Sustained Gaze

 

 

it was supposed to be "my" day.  The plan was that i would haul even more mulch down to the B garden area.  Haul it using the tarp method.  Would then be Ready for when Jenny shows up tomorrow to fence it in.  But that didn't seem to be how it needed to go.  So,  it was me and Emrie.  And without detail,  there was Long and Sustained Gaze upon her, me.  She's been calling me Ma.  Now it's G'ma.  We shifted.  We find ourselves in long sustained observances of ourSelves.  

yesterday i'd gone to the grocery store in Oroville,  to the Post Office and then for the first time over to Alyssia's place...the new rental.  For a couple or few months she'd looked at where to move from Chico and couldn't decide.  And then,  the FIRE.  Suddenly,  there was NO WHERE to move to.  Everything was taken.  And then,  this place,  a rent with option to buy.  she has been working on it for a couple weeks.  All the copper had been stolen.  No pipes work,  meaning no water,  no gas.  It was built in 1910.  There's moss on the roof.  

She said.... come up Lincoln,  past the feed store.  Keep going,  through the "bad part",  and then there's a space of Nothing and then beyond that, some streets to Mill St.  left.  she's there.  At that corner,  on Virginia.  I went.  It was the first time i'd been in a "house" since i moved here.  I'd never gone to her place, a normal condo apartment in Chico,  i've never gone to Jenny's apartment in Chico.  Just haven't.    So.....there i was.  in a neighborhood.  a California neighborhood.  an Ify neighborhood.  That she described as one with a lot of Foot Traffic.  I didn't know what that meant.  

a sustained gaze.

Today i watched Democracy Now.  The segments on Sundance.    Hale County This Morning This Evening.  Documentary.  RaMell Ross Director.   and  they talk about this.  The sustained gaze,  to LOOK,  really really look,  for a long time.  

Staring.

And i watched twice on Face Book something by Sacramento Bee,  a documentary Rebuilding Paradise.

All this.  How things need sustained gaze.  Long.  Long Looking.

 

language. written language. messages.

 

 

There was the extra space on the right side.  No known reason.   And also no question.  Extra space on the right.

On the road UP and Down...how it's so different, yet the same road.  On the Goat Paths.  Twigs and stone form glyphs.   RAIN makes them so evident.   Bas Relief.  am i remembering that correctly?   So evident,  you stop in your tracks to Read them.  Hoping to learn the Language.

 

 

waiting for a mother takes a long time

things take time