the bloom
the fruit
yet one more mystery, compost volunteer
and so.
today is done. Sunny, the old Toyota truck is home. the Hill home. Not the desert home. It was crucial that Sunny was good. Is one of the trucks, it takes two, in case of evacuation. Fire. California. To evacuate the Goats. in case. I have watched Self, with that undercurrent of low level anxiety. Nothing anyone might notice. Just a quiet undercurrent, but constant. and i have worked with it. Like the same kind of low level undercurrent of feelings about Tenzen's state of affairs. I know that what IS, is. I know that nothing is the end of the world. I know that no amount of anxious energy will change anything. Still, tho the undercurrent.
and
the undercurrent of this HILL. it's steep. there is one "lane", nothing on either side. No room for error.
add that.
but Sunny was FIXED and running like NEW and we got back and i took a deep breath and remembered all i needed to remember and we drove UP the hill...only in second gear and kept coming steady up and up and we were HERE. It's done. It's over. It happened. All that anxiety, for nothing.
tonight i think about that. All that anxiety for nothing. All the anxiety over "what to do about Tenzen" for nothing. Nothing.
it's just going. I'd like to keep the knowing of that. It's just going. just going.
