windthread

Things

i really want to talk about these.  2 artifacts from the large pine cones   that fall in wild abandon here.   Found while sitting on that log.   They have great meaning to me.  Finding them.  Next to one another.  And for me,  connect so completely with Jude's post about Repetition ...."  acting on a single thought many times can refine it.  A small thought might also grow,  expand,  more importantly, evolve."   She's talking about cloth.  But cloth for me is about Life.  So i go there.  Cloth Life.  and i go further  over into the sidebar here where the Tibetan Book of the Dead is but cannot be accessed anymore.  And i went to find it and did.  It's taken off the sidebar link because of some copyright  thing...but can be found googling,  a documentary produced by The National Film Board of Canada.  Tibetan Book of the Dead  Bardo Thodol  narrated by Leonard  Cohen.

 

 

 

,

pretty much the last two days have been taken up with trying to get the Toyota truck running enough to get to the mechanic just a short way down the road.  the old Toyota 1983 truck,  New Mexico truck,  that last ran when we evacuated all the Goats in November.  and then it sat.  that black widow taking up residence.  and we have gotten a different battery,  reconnected hoses and etc and started him up...his name is Sonny too.   Tonight something with the clutch.  

mid day,  a lul and i invisibly basted.  The PEACE of that.   The just so Great and Gentle Peace of that.

words tomorrow

 

the Going

in the Garden at campsite B.   Borage.  I'd planted SOME.  This One.   What happened to the rest of the some,  a mystery.  But this One....O and eeeeeeeeeeee.   Many many blossoms.  Annuals that readily reseed themselves.  This i hope.  But for now,  i am full of happiness.

 

time to change it up.   The last time Sunny,  the 1983 Toyota pick up was on the road was when we evacuated to Gridley.  Sunny pulled the Goat Boat with all the Doe  Goats.  Upon return,  he was driven up the Hill and parked.    That was last November.

Some time,  close after that,  i went to start him and his battery was dead.  A new battery.  but then,  a while later,  when i decided that i needed to get it together,  i went to start him again and no deal.  New battery is dead.  

i went in to the place just down on the corner,  like 3 minutes  away.  At the corner of Olive Hwy and Old Olive.  Told him my story and he said he only works on diesel.  I said,  yes,  but can you look.  I know work needs to be done to get him Emissions acceptable in California.   like a catalytic converter.  Could he just look and tell me what i will need.  Please.

yes.  he goes to his wall calendar and marks me on June 21.  That was sometime in early April.   It is now this coming Friday.  I am going to remember what Wood Judy taught me,  way back in New Mexico.  It's very Navajo,  as was Wood Judy.  You say what you need and the person says No.   You repeat.  What you need.  the person says No again.  You stand there.  Silently,  looking down at the ground,  say nothing.  Time passes.  The person says....ok.  and what you need happens.

i'll try it.  Don't know if Navajo stuff works here.  It might.  But if nothing else,  will try to get him to give me the name of someone who might be willing to work on an old desert truck.  That would be good enough.

Can you see her?  near the center....I was checking fluids and that hood hadn't been opened in months.  A very perfect Black Widow.  The first i've seen here.   Hanging from the hood above,  two fine egg sacs.   I love Black Widows...such kind and civil spiders,  never all the drama of other kinds...just still and peacefully waiting.  I'll find an old can...they like metal...scoot her egg cases in there and then,  hopefully her.  Carry off into this forest.  

 

at ease

7:47 this morning.   So close that it's good enough.  So it's Morning when i need to try to SEE the color.  Ok.  This is good.

and yes. It's Dana's touch on the base cloth.  I woke during the night and knew that.

 

these rose from the baskets when i was looking.  Not the "one",  but how Beauty Full they are,  together,  ....Enough, really,  just this way.  I think again about hanging cloths from trees.  These would live well that way.

and re HAREM CLOTH.   Sent today.  Should be arriving this week to all destinations.  I have tracking #s.  

of course! a dream. so, of course.

i can't get the color right.  Try.  Try.  Try   NO.  NO.  NO.  and this,  near, but not at all right.  I need you to see it.  How it is.  and i can't.

and i think,  well,  of course.  It's my dream.  it's a dream that i call mine,  but it's not "mine",  but a dream.  Dreams do not belong to anyone.  They pass through.  Whoever needs them,  they  stop and linger,  but then keep on going.

i had the day.  so i went to those baskets to look for a cloth to be the GROUND of this image.  "she" needed that because she was too close to the edge.  She needed space.  What i had in mind was one of the walnut or oak gall dye pieces,  just shadows.   But instead,  out came those of form and color.  many.  and this one,  not at all what i might have imagined,  AT ALL,  this one.  It's going to be work.  But it seems to be adamant.    a Dream cloth.  and i am sorry that i don't know who sent it.  Could be Deb Lacativa but also could be Saskia.  My cloths are in such a whirl,  they have lost their notes.   i can't sometimes know.  and as i look right now,  maybe Dana?????????  OH!,  maybe Dana!

Forgive me.  Please.

But the sense of dream,  which is also the sense of Karma.  Karma seeming now to be an almost old fashioned concept,  but

what if it isn't?  OR Caroline Myss....Contracts,  which ever you prefer.  But that we come for a reason,  an intention that we just go with,  follow through,  weave on and into,  making more    making more   going

This cloth is very alive.  and the lizard isn't even here yet

 

 

letting it be what it is

NT 

 

one of those nights.  All the words i put under the top two pics disappeared.  I have no energy to repeat them.   I think....they don't matter anyway.  the words.  

this last pic,  which won't turn upright,  snow peas that are finishing their season,  as i give water,  i pick the pods and open them,  eat the peas.  Give the pod shells to Tay who eats them.

i sit on the step and wait for Puppy the cat to appear.  It takes her a while for whatever reason,  but she does.  The bridge of her nose is all swollen.  She hunts.  This kind of thing will happen.  I watch,  to see if i might need to Do Something,  what that something might be is unknown at this point. But i watch and am somehow Ready.

Tenzen had some good days of being upright.  Yesterday and today not so much.  He's squashed at the fence and i go.  Give him a hand up,  standing,  i put the towel under him and grip it at the top to create a sling kind of thing,  we stand there,  minutes,  i talk to him,  we wait till his breathing is easy and then Go.  Moving slowly forward toward his gate area where the alfalfa feed is.  Keep the towel sling thing on till he has his bearings there.  He eats.  His appetite is good.  He spends the rest of his day lying peacefully.  Then,  we do it all over again in the morning.  We could call the vet and "put him down".  

if it goes ok,  tomorrow i will put a scrap on the Cloth.  Begin to stitch things down.  Sew things down.  Sunday.  I love Sunday.

this morning,  out the Window,  there was a brilliant FLASH of orange/red wing....that i know

Flicker

a spirit bird for me over the years.  I've not seen them here.  But i recognize that FLASH.  it couldn't be anything else.

 

 

just stopping. anywhere. look around

coming up from Campsite A.  I stop 3 times to rest.  Sit.  Look around.  Look down

 

just this much.  Evidence of so much.  The rocks,  millennium.   Myriad fragments of plant people...stems,  leaves, seeds.  Small bits of these from seasons past.  Seeds clustered and lined in crevices between the stones and rocks.  Tree things

the arrangement of these "components" could not be more elegant.  Beauty IS.

 

 

look up and the going is going.  Searching for just the right place.

kinds of Magic

 

a day and then the moon

they came late in the day to bring ice,  batteries and the great grandson Julian,  Alyssia's son.  9 yrs.  He leaves tomorrow to fly to New Jersey to spend a month and a half with his father.  Like every summer.  Since he was 3.  There are grandma's there and many many aunties.  They dote.

We went to B to give water and there were out of no where,  beautiful white flowers atop long long stems.  I'd not taken the phone so, no camera.    

When we got back and were sitting outSide,  feeling the day cool into evening,  gazing off,  i saw white things in the corridor between the old buck forests and the doe forest....Could it be?  and yes, it was.  Here too today...not yesterday.  i will get a good picture tomorrow.  They are Beauty FULL.

 

i asked him what he wanted to do before he left.  He spent one afternoon after school copying down this recipe from the internet.   Oreo Four Layer Dessert.  He wants to make Oreo Four Layer Dessert.  So.  today,  100 degrees.  Now at 9:56 pm it's 95.  It cools during the night.   I will wake him EARLY to chop fine the pecans and soften the cream cheese.  We will heat the oven and bake the bottom crust.   Only 15 to 20 min...not so bad.   In the end it chills for 2 hours.  If it comes out good,  he wants to take the recipe cards with him and make it for his Dad.  Father's Day.

Emrie calls the Moon  ......  Cow.  Because we all look up and call out,  Moooon!   Emrie looks up and says Cow!!!!!

 

the heat is on

living by the SUN.  

wake before light.  Tea.  maybe 3 cups of.   Light,  then.  Sweep and wash the floor.  Hand laundry outside.  Hang.   Feed Goats,  down to give water to Wall Garden.  It might vary,  the wash floor part.  If not wash floor,  then clean bathroom sink.  or something,  maybe a couple windows.   But always sweep.  

Cook anything that might need cooking.

eat something while it's cooking.  often an egg from Talkie.  scrambled.  fried.  omlet.  depending.

the rest of the day as it is.  Who knows.

then Evening.  Feed Goats again.  Fill their water bowls.  Check on TenZen which requires spending time.  Every other day go to B Garden and tend.  Now,  hang out with Tazmeena.  

in between everything and anything,  touch scraps.  move them around.  see what they have to say.  Always Good conversation.