Yesterday Acey emailed about co-creation in her Garden. She said it was indicated that it might have some unknown relevance for me. She talked about using Chrysoprase and that she remembered sending me a stone years ago. She went on to other things. There were specific sentences throughout the mail that "tingled"....that said...take note. I would reread these but there was nothing that actually Said SomeThing. but first, the memory of the Chrysoprase and i went to find it where it stays now in the Container of Safe Keeping. As i pulled that container toward me, my arm brushed the cloth bag that holds 4 Tarot decks....that had been in the storage unit...but was finally brought here. With the Chrysoprase in hand, went back to continue reading her mail. She mentioned a dream in which she and James Wanless, Creator of the Voyager Tarot, were sitting under the Morning Tree...the OAK tree, Here and he clarified for her that it was not her that had issues with someone, but rather that They had issues with her....this is a loose paraphrase...but it was distinctly another of those Tingle moments that said...Take Note.
That bag of cards...stretched tight because of the oversized Voyager Tarot. There were a couple other references to this deck. I went again and got it. Sat it infront of me as i finished the mail and thought about all it had said. Sat and wondered. How might there be something relevant to me in all this?....specifically? So i shuffled the cards. Chose the first that would indicate the Situation at Hand. XIV. in this and the Toth Deck....ART. In the traditional Ryder Waite, Temperance. this card ruled by Sagittarius....my sign. I chose the second card that indicates what "crosses" the Situation at Hand, things that factor in, things that are necessary to consider. The 3 of Wands...in this Voyager deck, Compassion. i stared. and went back to her final sentences in her mail....
"if people do focus on their light and love and strongest world/human beliefs, they are putting that juice into the global matrix. It doesn't just take us individually out of our darker aspects of what we see and feel at this specific time. It RESISTS obliteration and energetic breakage and instead regenerates. If our species is to have a reasonable chance of subsisting ~ this will all be SO SO important even if any of us individually are not around to witness the outcome."
And in that second reading, after the cards, i KNEW. Heavy on my heart...me and Julian. This is my third summer here. he is 10 years old. biologically. The first two summers we talked about how he would leave a week after school got out and be gone to New Jersey to his dads until a week before school resumed. We all talked about how we wished we had TIME in the summer. We talked about all the things we might do...together. He and alyssia, emrie, jenny, her man, me, his uncle Jeff and cousins Fate and Brinley, Aunt Tiara... and this summer.....this summer, he can't go. His gramma there, who he stays days with when his dad is at work, is in a Senior Apartment...lockdown. He CAN BE HERE! And all there is...face to face...is his mother, Emrie, and.....me. so...sometimes, me and him. here we are. me and him. me and him who have an interesting and often difficult relationship. He disagrees with me. a LOT. on a variety of things. ...we might notice: i say...He disagrees with Me. here's a funny example. National Geographic arrives with a magnificent map of the world tucked in the pages as they do. I whip it out....LOOK! i exclaim! This so great map! He does not look but continues glued to his phone and something of his world there. I unfurl the map and say on the opposite side there's even a topographical view!!!!!!!!!!oh, eeeeeee!!!!!!!! He ignores me. I say, JULIAN! LOOK! he finally says....i don't like geography. I stare at him. mind thinking, it's not geography i say...it's our planet! Its the planet upon which all of us stand, our FEET, we stand on it He remains silent and absorbed in his whatever it is. Done.
He's extremely bright. When he was little, we would refer to him as an old soul. Now it feels like something different and yesterday that was weighing SO HEAVY on my heart. Here we are. We have all his summer break. I, me, old nana, am the only human being he will directly interface with. HOW CAN I DO thIS?????????
and there the cards fell. I never had a book that accompanied the Voyager deck. Interpretations differ and all offer different views. The book i do have here is Mirror of the Soul..Gerd Ziegler for the Toth deck which was the one i used. So, i look there.
these are many words, but these are the words that caught me and they are Enough. Unification of opposites, balance, creative power, the melting of contradiction is the major step toward oneness, the bringing together of opposites in preparation for generating something new and it goes on. so much more. But it redirects me. not....how do i Fix Julian, but how do i fix ME...and how i fix me is to trust. Trust intuition. Trust looking Inside. And i just go back to the Illustrations on the cards themselves. No book needed. Just the Illustrations of the cards.
this is a substantial cloth of cotton. has some stains. from my beloved thrift shop in Socorro N Mex. 62 X 46. I will
quilt
it.
Squares. edges stitched under. Maybe a central design?...or not. but i will. I will make a blanket quilt. Why? to answer the question of the other day.....Why? all i can say is because i love so much the "Tina". Tina made a quilt and sent it to me. At the time, i thought....oh!...it's BeautyFull, but i have a comforter, a wool blanket. but since, and this was right before the Evacuation of 2018, the Campfire, since, i absolutely cannot imagine living without The Tina. She is lightweight, she is STRONG. I wash her in Alyssia's washing machine and all her seams are FIRM and sure. Every night, even now, when it's 100 degree days, she is there in those few early morning hours to hold some warmth until it all begins again. And Tina herself is present. Her great Heart and such Big Love....how she just did it. Made it and sent it, out of that Love. And all the years i have watched Jude piecing together all her squares into BeautyFull forms, the squares, the squares......the squares....the ORDER of squares. and
suddenly...writing this....i think....to know how to go toward Julian. He likes order. He likes the Tina a lot. So...maybe doing this will help me know something about all that?????? oh....eeeee??????????
