at Acey's suggestion. Cottonwood The Star The Herbcrafter's Tarot
" Your broken pieces contain the stars of hope. Open your heart to grace."
the 20 minute mid morning nap: not awake but not asleep. I can feel my body as a Container...it's mostly from my shoulders to my hips. Can feel the bones with muscle and skin as a uh, vessel. In that vessel i can feel the heart, the physical heart, the organ. Bloody, alive, beating. but all around it is space as if a large room. or Hall. there are many available memories there, all alive and current. I see the Place of Polvadera. I FEEL it. I feel its emptiness now.
and not Because of the Cottonwood, there is something to this View, this View from this Hill in this particular place, this particular Direction....this Land Scape...the feeling is intense...i said to Jenny yesterday... Deja Vu so Strong but i cannot know more. From where we were sitting there is a maybe 40ft descent...down the Hill, where i slid squatting on my heels, close to vertical which creates the sense of Looking Upon when you are at the top looking down and Over. I need to spend time there.
i am reading and Working Resmaa Menakem's My Grandmother's Hands. Each chapter has a Practice. Today, it was:
"You are about to invite the presence of an ancestor. You don't know who this will be. You also don't know how he or she will appear, as an image, a memory, a sensation in your body, an emotion or a flow of energy. All you know is that this person lived at least three generations before you and died before you were born." it goes on. No ancestor came. What came was a feeling of having no ancestors. I waited. What did come was the memory of Down by the Creek in my childhood. That creek being nothing like the creek here (?) that woods not like this Place here (?) but that's what "came". He refers to this work as Practices...not exercises..but practices. Because we repeat them. that the repetitions are what work. So...i will sit again tomorrow. Wait for SomeOne.
