windthread

why do i care?

 

 

pics of dried up stuff.   The first,  a piece of watermellon rind.   Looks like a candle.   I will keep it.  Safe.   a candle of the Times.

 ...over there,  under the Crepe Myrtle and interwoven grape vines,  a small stand of Lily, now also all dried up.  I never knew lilly was like this...the pods....Michelle would link me.

it feels so tenuous. Like maybe this is the last evening i can post pics here?   That tomorrow morning  it just won't happen.  Maybe no explanation,  just can't happen anymore?   And i think now about why it's so important to me,  to put these pics here,  to see Your words that tell me you see them?   

Impermanence.   the house on the Hill.   this house here,  this  Windthread house now.   Maybe and maybe not.

lost in the shuffle

jude used the expression a few days ago.   i smiled cause it's been on my mind for quite a while.  Today,  fits even more.

so...in what i guess was a stressed response to not being able to  "connect",   set into motion in a big way by Michelle's  leave taking,   i tried to FIX things by switching to this new comment system.   Disqus.   I  DO NOT LIKE IT.  it is visually intrusive,  the soft peacefulness of Typepad Comments is gone.   There is the sign in thing.   I guess how that works is to click whatever you are already connected to,   say....Google....type in your name which would be your email and then the password for that...ie your google password.   Alyssia thinks that might only need to happen once?   I don't know.  But it's cumbersome.  NOT user friendly.  I have to do that with Wordpress and often it means i don't comment.   So the outcome is not what i'd hoped.   And then....this morning,  i find that i can no longer  even read,  let alone comment,  on anyone's Typepad  comments????????  not Jude or Hazel or Acey.  

am bummed.

so i will just sit quiet with it all for a while.   I don't know what else to do.  

 

 

Michelle~ness. Her particles ~

this post will take all day...on and off...at least.   but to Begin, 

Uncertainty Principles.   Now that she is unavailable,  i need to find my own links.  I had relied on her.

Uncertainty Principles.  "in quantum mechanics,  the uncertainty  principle is any of a variety of mathematical inequalities asserting a fundamental limit to the precision with which the values for certain pairs of  physical quantities of a particle,  such as position, x, and momentum, p, can be predicted from initial conditions."  wikipedia

this fragment of cloth, or part of,  is what i have referred to as The Michelle for years now.   Way back in my beginning with Spirit Cloth  (she was already there),  she sent it to me.   Pieces of it have become parts of so many things i've made.  There is little left.  I searched and found it yesterday,  this morning at First Light,  pinned it to this Letter Blanket,  this Fire Blanket,  this How To Live Blanket...pinned it down there on bottom right,  next to the oh so precious scrap i am placing here to identify self,  or,  human being with the equally oh so precious scrap i identify as a Protector.  

Michelle and i entertained  similar imaginings/understandings about what becomes of human beings after death.  I think about all this now and because it was how she Identified,  Ms. Uncertainty Principles,  i am thinking in terms of particles.

Night now.

we ended up going to Hang Out with the Goats at Camelot.   Yesterday there was a new evacuation warning for Paradise,  where Camelot is...close to.   So we went,  in case we couldn't.  In case everything might Change.   We gave them salted peanuts in the shell that went over really well.  They are fine.  There are clip boards hanging just outside their accommodations detailing care.  We saw that all their hooves have been trimmed.   When we got back we cleaned out the Chicken Place here...new straw,  all rearranged and by the time it was done,  the MOON was on the rise.

so it's going to take some time.  Maybe a long time for me to think about Michelle.   and that's ok.  Today i thought a lot about how there were those three flights of stairs that she went Down and then back UP.   Over and over.  Every day.  I close my eyes and see her doing this.    Michelle.   In my mind,  i always called her....Mychelle.  i had told her that.  She laughed.

a Monday i think?

i followed the advice of Typepad who said they are not going to correct the problems with Comments...their
advice to buy the Discus thing
which i did, Alyssia working on that all afternoon, mostly transferring the years of comments from
Typepad
the only other alternative Typepad offered was a non threaded version which my guess is won't last long
either
and here i am this morning in the dark unable to figure out how to make a comment myself....?......

i am missing Michelle. I keep wanting it to be a mistake. There is an aching Hole.

Just now there is a hummingbird flitting around that blossom i posted yesterday...it made a SOUND
i've never heard that before...there is a tiny chirring sound?????? not wings...but a Voice???????

i need to just breathe for a while. Will try the commenting again later.

Love and Love to US and i am sorry for the disruption here

Michelle.....Wait!...... ~addendum~

wait......wait......

not yet

 

back in the beginning.  Long ago,  finding Spirit Cloth....there were Comments.    Jude answered them.   All of them.  This is how i came to know Michelle.   Over time,  Michelle became a sister.  A REAL sister.   

Typepad recently has chosen to not support threaded comments,  suggesting we use Discus instead.  Alyssia spent the entire afternoon trying to accomplish this.  She should have been doing her work for School...it is 100 degrees and we are still under Evac Warning..  I can't go "home".

so we'll see how it goes.  

but i DO know that the exchange,  the Conversation,  is Critical to what it all is now.   Please be patient...let's see how it goes?

 

how all things are Present inSide the Fire

in a comment 9~23    hermosa said:

"we who live in a fire based ecology are bettered if we come to terms with fire,  a holy element.  For some it is Water, for some it is Wind,  here we are in Fire's domain.  Yes, it can get dangerous  (like deep strong water)   All of us live along side the supreme elements....May we all take heart,  stay well and strong.  Holding on."

so in all those preceding days of not acknowledging this image of Fire...i chose not to look.    I look today.  Closely.  

i think this must be  Kaffe Fassett?   it was gifted quite a longtime ago.  

i would not have paired the two words....ecology~Fire.  I google  Ecology and the most simple sentence:  "the branch of biology that deals with the relations of organisms to one another and their physical surroundings."   i love hermosa's words...fire being a holy element  which i have always "known" but never Known  and still...do not truly know.  I suddenly in these days,  SEE how Fire is shaping us,  Teaching us what can help Us survive....if we choose to learn.

 

so, What do you do?

 

when a Day seems to be being asked to hold more than you could ever have imagined?   You get the Cloths from the back of the truck and hang them on the center beam of the.....Car Port...i finally remembered what this kind of structure is called....Car Port...hang them with 10 of the new clear head push pins that you tap in with garden scissors because you don't now where a hammer might be kept

and you look.   You see what you had tried NOT to see before...how that upper most Center is....Fire.    Ok.  and it is.  ok.  and how you tried not to see it before,   it all makes sense.

More words tomorrow.  Enough for today.

Addendum!!!!!    YOU CAN SEE

STARS

tonight!

one more Thing

this is the moment, this morning, when Typepad decides that i can't have comments...or, can't respond? i'm
not sure what all...but like Jude experienced some days ago. this is all new, just in the last hour. i don't know what to do.
But i want to respond to Sarita. Will figure out a way to do that. Later......

with our own eyes

just up the highway,  Lake Oroville

 

the road has no shoulder for the most part.  it ascends.  or descends.   is very winding.   we  intended to drive up as far as we could...till the road block but got here to the bridge and there it was....in the distance...what's left of uncontained Fire.  The part they can't find a way to contain.  Deep canyons.  All along the way were places like this...ember flares that burnt out on their own quickly enough for little damage...maybe Put out?   There were also stretches that were completely burned.  Trees,  blackened sticks,  power lines burned or lying limp on the ground, tangled.  

 

 

just above the rail,  the smoke on the horizon.  Where fire is.  Looks far.  is not.  What is referred to as the Forbestown Fire.  Where we stood here is 3.7 miles from the Hill.   That Fire  is about that distance from the Hill,  as the Crow flies,  which is one breath for a Fire like this.

Equinox in a neighborhood on Earth

it's a funky neighborhood.  When Alyssia first moved here from Chico,  to be closer  (to the Hill) (to me),  i asked her what it was like and her answer was...there's a lot of foot traffic.   i thought,  me,  from Polvadera, NM,  i thought...how nice...people Out,  walking....but then learned that a lot of foot traffic means people on foot because they don't own vehicles.  People on foot,  moving almost incessantly to get needs met,  most often  meaning drugs.   O.  ok,  well....    When i used to think about California i thought in terms of maybe LA.   or maybe San Diego,  where she used to live,  where Julian was born when she was still in the Navy.   This is an old neighborhood of wooden houses,  almost all in some state of disrepair,  but...FULL.  Multiple families.  it is a common neighborhood for Oroville and nicer than quite a few.  There are also BeautyFull old neighborhoods,  and just Beautiful neighborhoods.  Everything.   The common equation is that everywhere there is any tiny space at all is FULL of Things Growing.  Trees, bushes, vines, grasses, plant people of all imaginable kinds.  It blooms.  Flowers are everywhere.  Year round.  Things GROW with Wild Abandon.

 

 

 

out back,  a modest sized Oak,  but the biggest acorns i've ever seen.   These are the size the First People would have gathered, ground into flour for the Rain Months.