windthread

she said

 "....everyone shall sit under their own vine and fig tree and no one shall make them afraid."

Poet and HandDancer,  Amanda Gorman,   wearing YELLOW,   said     "we assert......"

 

claim me as Kin...i ask.

Dancing Trees of Sumba Indonesia     Daniel Kordan photographer

no matter what

 

yellow Third Chakra Did she call it House of Self?.....or did i dream that

very early,  looking for something else,  found this.   Set it in the middle of the table.  Reason unknown.

 

later,  still looking for what i was looking for...a photograph of the Old Moon Gramma,   out in the storage bins at B.   Not there.  But what was,  was an old cigar box of Cray-Pas.  They are very used and some partially having acquired a melted form.  But instantly i could FEEL them,  how they are.....     I got a box of oil pastels for the kids at one point and they were ok.   I hadn't remembered having these Cray Pas  but probably wouldn't have given them to the kids anyway.    As i was walking back,  just gazing,  i saw something i have never seen before.   I saw how the   ~air~  that is around and touching everything is

Yellow

there is the earth and what grows from it,  then this space that touches ALL  up to the leaves and branches of the Trees and then above,  into the canopy and beyond,  the blue sky.   But what is close,  surrounding and enveloping,  that Air,  is   Yellow.  Just so soft ephemeral yellow,  but...yellow.   I stood and stared and stared.   As morning went into day the yellow disappeared but then just a while ago when i had fed the buck Goats and stood looking out,  as i do,   the Yellow had returned...its soft ...what,  glow?,  No,  not glow,  but i can't think of what to call it yet.  Maybe aura?

but earlier in the afternoon i got 3 of the Inktense Pencils.   and i couldn't resist...a couple dots of the cray pas.   Making Yellow where it wasn't before.   My hand.  Putting Yellow on cloth.

biome

the small vertical dots.   They are exquisite.   Just small but so much THERE...so critical to the whole.

 

color is still all off.  This is a Green place,  the undercloth...the Deb Lacativa is the most WonderFULL greeness that enlivens the green of all else.

i couldn't work on this in the last days.  I wanted to but couldn't.   The energy of whats happening was so much opposite....i couldn't.  I held it a lot.   Today,  i could.  Everything is Together.   I think about Biome....a large naturally occurring community of flora and fauna occupying a major habitat  e.g. forest or tundra     I thought about the biome that is a person,  full of experiences,  memories,  dreams,  imaginings ....a biome too,  in a certain way.

i'll keep trying  to photograph the true color...otherwise it makes less sense.   Maybe very early in the morning,  at dawn.

another Emrie day

to occupy ourSelves,   we looked through two manila folders of Cloths  i've made.  Print outs of photographs.   it is surprising,  how many.   And the best part was that it was if seeing them for the first time,  made by someOne else.   I like them.  A lot.  I have feelings for them,   FEELINGS about making them.  What it was to me.   I'll think about this.

the words.....from a fiber figure/art doll i made.  Sydney and Talulah have it in Albuquerque.   I used to attach a "tag"  to them,  with words that arose as i made them.    That one,  a crescent moon with an old face.  I didn't find a print out of it.  Maybe i don't have one.  but i remember it perfectly.   

my dreams are changing.   Finally.   and last night,   i saw

Fireflies.

spent a lot of the dream telling people about this,  wanting the to see them too.  They didn't understand what i was talking about.

superpowers of Walnut

didn't go this last summer/fall for walnut harvest.   Feeling like i have so much cloth.   Use what i have.  But then,   i think i said something about this a while ago...but then,  wished i had just a few walnuts to Sadden things...mute them.  

Yesterday,  when looking around,  saw that there are OLD walnuts where the horse trailer used to be,  at the edge of the pile of Poison Oak debris.   from the first summer here?   Had been in a plastic bag in the storage door of horse trailer and just removed and cast aside during an evacuation.  Forgotten through seasons,  Rain,  Heat,  Rain, Heat again.  Old and shriveled.   I put some in a pot and on the stove to boil and then simmer with that orange fabric that is so intensely orange,  the old patterned cloth that has PINK flowers,  hoping something different might happen with the pink.   There is a good subtle difference with the orange but not such a great change with the pattern....the pink stayed pink and the light creamy white that i like became walnuty.

 

 

that is easily seen on the Other side of the patterned.  But....things DID happen,  even when they had been forgotten so long,  they held their power.   This next season,  i'll go.   to Honor Walnut.   Even if it's just a few to use like this.  It was GOOD to have a pot boiling,  simmering with cloth.  some kind of Return that makes a difference in these days.

 

the next Invocation

life Journal, January 2021 as the other world is crazy maybe this single page

she came just before 10 am.   Alyssia has 3 papers to complete by the weekend.   The mission was to have a day and STAY AWAKE so she would sleep well tonight since Alyssia is up,  well into and sometimes through the night.  We began by following the Goats.

 

she wants to do what everyone else is always doing.  in this instance,  taking my pic.  She directed me.  Stand on the Grandmother Rock.  Like that.   click.  She looked at it on my phone...and was satisfied.   It worked for me.  I hadn't combed my hair.  

 

 

we wandered slow,  looking at things.  She was the Leader,  choosing the paths we took.   We climbed things,  made our way through downed branches,  followed Goat Paths noting how we are taller than them,  but how they show the way.  She learned a trillion things...how to go slow,  one step at a time.  How it is to be afraid to do what you want to...ie climb up and along that huge downed tree that scared her in the spring,  how to take one foot up at a time,  wait,  think,  look,  wait more and then place the next foot,  the next hand forward,  to be afraid,  but breathe through it.   Over and Over because we had all day.  And these ferns...how Goats are not the Greatest because they eat them but we found some...sheltered in the brush.  Saved.

 

She almost made it.    Not quite.   At the Everything Table...around 6 oclock.  and then her mother came.

I think now,   in the quiet of her gone,  about all the trashcrap going on....wasting Life    There is so much to CARE FOR,  so many children,  how Emrie is so Free of so much that others are not....How I am.  How we had this so Great Day in the midst of

such grief

forest garden

there are MANY of these now.   small forest gardens of them.   Reading the book,  looking on line,  it's a  Probably Edible,  but then the continuation....  "but don't mistake them for ....... so and so ".      I need a more sure identification.  i need a PERSON i can carry one to.....a PERSON.    Maybe next winter.    They smell so exceedingly wonderful....i can translate that to the pan...the butter sautee.    There are MANY.  They Vibrate.  and Sing a song of Earth and Rain.

those three monkeys

this first pic....Typepad won't let me rotate and resize it so i don't know what it might appear like.   But they were pieces of cloth in one of the ziplocs that are across from me here at the Everything Table.  maybe 4 days now.  Several bags,  but i kept being asked to look at these.

 

i took them out,  from near the bottom of that bag and saw that many of them were gifted and so Ironed.   Into a pot on the stove to heat.

 

then out to dry.

 

Went Out to feed and then accompany the Goats a while as they went about doing their Goat things.  I saw that the Miners Lettuce has acquired its secondary heart shaped leaves,  that Talkie's feather sticks are extending and bursting into feathers.  SUN flowed down in a river of warmth.    Went to B garden to work at clearing space for the planting that will happen in just weeks now  and saw that the small  wild Yellows are beginning to appear every where.  And in between and through it all,  i looked and read about what's happening in this country i live in and thought about those monkeys.  Many of us of this generation will have seen them.  For me,  they were on my paternal grandmothers credenza.  I thought about the ....Privilege...people like me have.   To choose to not look.  To turn away in an effort of "self care" or whatever,  but to not look too much.   I need to look.   I need to hear and i need to speak.