windthread

what is always there, waiting to be noticed

very happy with this One

On Being.   conversation with Ariel Burger.  Be a Blessing.   Bearing Witness.  Being creatively maladjusted.

Tomorrow.  Hulu.  Nomadland.

 

the Un pretty

so this is the house at B.  as far as it got.  not so much.    it was at this point that they began trying to formalize the preliminary planning to have a frame of the building delivered.  Plan a, b and c and maybe there were more,  but as they got down to the exact numbers,  it turned out that though the different places had assured they could deliver,    they could not.    The road was not wide enough.   No place to maneuver,  no place to turn.  Trees would have to come down.   So,  ok....then they would proceed from scratch.  But then,  Jenny's job changed.  Her job had been 3 days a week but now they needed to change it to 5.    Right at that point,  Fate was needing additional tutors for his "autism".  She would pay for that with the additional 2 days.    Things came to a standstill.    When i quit using the expensive storage unit,  Alyssia and i brought everything from it here and spread it out,  covered it with a HUGE TARP until i could go through it and slowly we took some things to her house in Oroville,  let some go,  put some in those tubs i talk about.   There were  Many moving boxes.   Just left there.  Under the tarp.   Since then,  and then through the Virus months,  pretty much no one looks in that direction.   But just recently,  i have decided.  Stated that decision that i am ok where i am.   All effort and money now should go toward preparing Campsite A for Alyssia to be here.

And so.

What to do with the eyesore?  

 

 

and also...more than that now.  It's where the food Garden will be.    A lot of time will be spent here.  And though we haven't seen any sign of such,  it is wise to assume that there are still rattlesnakes living on this Hill.   Tarps on the ground creep me out.   When we were there yesterday,  Emrie wanted to play on the beams.   I was not ok with that.   Today i pulled off the tarp that is HUGE.  50ft x something,  sodden with pooled water.  Under,  all the soggy cardboard which is unsightly,  BUT will serve to prevent weeds* from growing.   It's flattened.  Spread out.   The tarp,  i'll drag it onto the road and fold/roll it up.  Useful for  ?Something?   someday.  Along the front beam i will nail up some fencing to act as trellis for snow peas and Peas that will be planted in pots.   It will become

pretty.  Maybe some Morning Glories.   or,  even SweetPeas?  And a good place for Emrie to play.

and so,  we go.

*which are grasses and all manner of plant people who just want to live here too.

meaning

 

i tried to make this post last night and couldn't.  This morning in pre dawn dark tried again,  while wondering if it was worth it,  if the pics have any meaning,  if words i'd thought about them last night had any meaning.     We had a day to ourselves and were OutSide,  it was sunny,  no rain.   Some of it was doing almost nothing,  like sitting on the pile of gravel half way up the road,  seeing this leaf,  looking closely,  wondering how it happened....maybe a caterpillar.   Thinking about the size of a mouth that could create this negtive space pattern.    At new B garden we pulled the wheelbarrow loose of all the roots that had taken hold of its overturned rim,  things under it for 3 years now all lost in tangle of rootlets and decaying forest material,  an old wooden spoon,  some peat pots,  a license plate from Oregon,  strips of that copper from the Subaru radiator and this copper lizard  that was for all practical purposes pretty much lost but not quite.   It was tarnished greybrown so we thought to try to pull up the bright copper shine with barkeepers friend and then toothpaste and finally vinegar.   i told her it was chemistry.  She gave her frequent response of late,   "Oh!,  i didn't know!"  in a lilting voice of wonder.   She says it about a lot of things.   While we sat on that gravel pile the Goats suddenly appeared running up the road at a clip...."where did they Come from?" and i said i didn't know,  from somewhere they had gone and were coming back from and added that some Goats only live in small yards but these Goats are lucky and have a whole world to live wild in.   she said..."Like you".      And i said...and like you too and she exclaimed OH I didn't know!,  but then smiled and said  Yes, i  know.  

 

 

returning

in all those last days,   i could only LOOK at cloth...in its loose and wild state as scraps, fragments all tangled in those 9 great Zip Lock bags.   I could sometimes take some out,   move it around.  But that was the extent of it.   Cloth did not belong in the same world as that of my attention and focus.     Today,  here.  now.   the Relief of this in huge.  I feel it across my face, the bones of my face,   across my Heart.   I can come back.   

from yesterday

last night Tay jolted awake and was mouth pressed to the door,  needing to go out.     3am.   Waiting for her return,  in the dark,  i thought...who knows???  and tried once again and easy peasy the image loaded.   ????   So,  maybe i consider that.

I went back through the photo gallery looking for pics i remember taking of the slender trunks of this Chaparral Whitethorn near Talkie's Palace.   Found them,  taken on Feb 27.    But while going through all the pics i wished so much that You All Here had access to that Gallery...so many many many images of so many many things.  How photographs alone tell the Story of a life.  No words necessary.   And because of the Sky and the blossoms,  their scent,   i was able to find my way back to Cloth making...spent time using Inktense on some walnut saddened commercial cloth.  This a Relief.   and later,  over at campsite B,  saw how i can bring the wheelbarrow down for mixing soil.  The loved wheelbarrow from New Mex that came in the UHaul and has sat,  overturned at the top of the B hill since arriving 3 years ago.   The Hill is too much for a wheelbarrow heavy  with soil or rock or wood even.  Momentum DOWN is immediate and there are no brakes.   But for this,  as a bowl for mixing, ...Jenny's soil and the buckets of composted manure near the Feed Shed...it will once again have purpose.   This feels good.  So in this moment,  things feel possible and even probable.  There will be a Garden.

how it is

i can't get any image to load. What i wanted here was the branches of the Chaparral Whitethorn. BLOOMING against a Sky Blue Sky. The first of anything aside from those all winter daiseys to BLOOM. To signal SPRING. As i took the photograph, the tree frogs took up their Song of the late day/evening. I wanted to put a pic of the bags of many cubic ft of Garden Soil that Jenny brought...here. this Journal. these for this 2021 iteration of the B Garden that will assume the work of the Wall Garden this time around.
We walked the road up the Hill and agreed to have someone (?) come to grade it and then gravel again, stood long moments studying the French Drains that remained and continued well.

we are finished with the All That Has Been. Acquittal. Time now to Turn. Hoping for the Best, right?
my hands smell of Cilantro that i harvested while at B.

strange

 

 

Typepad is imploding.   They say nothing about that.   Nothing.   It has taken me almost 3 hours,  off  and on to upload/download which ever it is,  to put these pics here.   I could not sign in.  

almost 3 hours to do what used to take a few minutes leaving me a Space of Time to WRITE WORDS,   .....THOUGHTS.....here tho,  once the connection has occured,  there's little mindspace left for anything.

I signed up for a Blog Space at WordPress toda

y.   I will learn what i am able to navigate that....we'll see.  If i can do that,  i'll move there.   If not,  it will be just time to let it all go.

the Cheetah.   the Cheetah,  above.   This i FEEL.   Some part of me is this Cheetah.  For Emrie.  For me.  For Us.

 

an odd day

 

i felt like i just couldn't spend another whole day at the impeachment proceedings.   Why not?,  i asked self....no good answer,  but...so i decided to do something about the mending of the denim couch/bed cover which was the futon cover in New Mex.  Somehow legitimizing watching and listening.    So many worn loose and thin areas needing repair of at least a temporary measure before its next round in the washing machine.  It's shredding.   The first is a large piece,   2 squares of very old and worn denim....not going to make it much longer and i don't have a reserve of denim to put there,    so this.    I don't know why.   I don't feel ok about the red so i colored over one of the strips with black Inktense pencil...will continue with the other two.  Don't know if it will work.   And then the second pic.  Nothing to say about that.   I just did it all while listening and watching the proceedings.   It all may end up feeling too "busy" and be removed.   Maybe someday if i can ever go again to GoodWill and get some denim that will work?  

and it rained.  Up till now,  my rain spirits have held,  but today,  not so much.   Am so grateful for it,  for the land,  for the land in this coming fire season.  It will matter.   But it was constant and unrelenting today and there was no break for feeding the Goats,  so i just sat there,  "suited up"...layers of sweatshirt and then the rain jacket,  the boots and when there was a perceptible lessening of Sound on the Roof...i took off.    Told them to eat fast,  which they did.   Everything will be ok.

Alyssia messaged me this:  a Utube   Heroes to Hives

i thought about the x military who were involved in the Insurrection,  having listened to them,  how they were  feeling like they were a part of something,   wanting desperately to be a part of something...what they chose.    I watched this Utube about those making such a different choice.   the Contrast.   How it's ALL OUT THERE,   choices.  

 

 

Emrie had Alyssia stop in front of the B Garden.   Picked these,  one for each of us.

what might a "title" be

i watched the impeachment hearing

soon

One of the oldest libraries in the world.  Papyri's Villa in the city of Herculaneum in Rome.

the Post Office.   But, also,  the Library.   Just prior to the Covid life,  i did get my California drivers license which would have meant i could get a Library Card.   Soon,  now.