i did next to nothing but feed and give water. i guess not next to nothing, but nothing. i got stung by something.
there are a lot of vague questions floating. I used to call it Interior Weather. to make it sound more interesting than just a vague sense of questioning. being uneasy, unsure. it used to be about particular things. Now it's pretty much everything. I've been fascinated by watching a UTube thing called StyleLikeU. most of the people who are interviewed are young and i find self feeling so much about and For them....so different than me and the me that i grew up with, was, all through my life. and then there is another one, UTube interview series that talks to people, primarily old, in Appalachia. who live on remote dirt roads in poor circumstances. Who grew up in families who canned 500 jars of garden vegetables every summer. the juxtaposition. i am a voyeur. of them, and of my self watching, having opinions, judgements.
after 3 days with Emrie the silence of this place was pronounced. I went over to where the sprinkler is, where we spent a lot of time yesterday, her in the little plastic pool building things, cooking, creating things in her mind, all verbalized, a mile a minute sometimes quietly to herself sometimes aloud to me. She sings a lot, the interactions she is creating are almost like an opera. We usually pick up all the stuff at the end of the day but yesterday we just left it all there and when i went over there, i sat down and just looked at it all. I thought about plastic. The above is a broken measuring cup. She uses this one over and over...this was my fish soup. She has no judgements about anything. She plays with the china tea cup, the stone lizard, the metal dog and the odd little plastic things that have ended up here equally. The wooden blocks. Sticks and leaves, the berries she found.
Alyssia frequents a FaceBook Buy Sell and Trade page. Often, if you want a pair of kid shoes you have to take a whole bag of stuff. things accumulate. it used to bother me. i had opinions. But i have watched Emrie's continued use and fondness for things like this fish. this broken off handled measuring cup. Everytime she begins her time in the sprinkler pool is as if she is gathering old friends. I realized today that i really like this fish. in the same way i really LOVE the plastic container box with the small screw top containers. OH! i DID do something today. i put that long tangle of Red embroidery thread into one and into another, that scrap strip of red silk. Red stuff. i contained Red stuff.
