I wake at about 4 or 5 oclock. Make tea, clear the space on the Table and follow a trail of reading and looking....read any comments to the blog of the night before, read any posts on other blogs, sometimes comment then, but most times just think. then news and any related articles. A second tea and usually some writing in the stenographer's notebook. And then for a while now, at least since last spring, i often go lie back down and fall asleep for usually about 20 minutes. Very often, as i become awake, some surprisingly clarity appears, or some surprisingly interesting slant to some ongoing concern. the third tea and i sit and entertain those things, letting them wander as they will. often writing things down. then...meditate for as long as happens. The day begins. Those 20 minutes of re~sleep have been very surprisingly usefull. Yesterday what came was the "fact" that there are no Answers to those Hard Questions....OR....there are MANY answers depending on how the questions are asked. And there was also acceptance that i will most likely continue to be caught in the questioning as life goes. And the questions will continue to become more pointed, more spare, more direct. It's how i am. And how that came yesterday morning was.........That knowing that the questions will remain . and it was "said" ....Why not just let them live? Let the questions just be Alive? Changing/moving/asking themselves. Alive.
Just hold them in the palm of your hand.
And i received the image of those questions there, like how so small salamanders or newts are, so weightless, soft, almost unbelievable in their slight impression of movement and aliveness. To let the questions be like that. Light, and given to just the asking that would help me know more as i live. To not make them heavy with demand.
and then....what came next....i had to smile. Next, the thought was: make them a little pouch. to sleep in as you work your days. Make them a little pouch.
