late last night i was thinking about how i'd like to get some cloths ....finished....and over into the Shop. This would Help. and to my left, here at the Table, just under the Worm Cloth that i cannot sell, was this one with the large red earth form. It's been there for weeks. It's difficult...the large red earth form...i would have never done that deliberately. But here it is and as I've said before, the fact that there is also the prominent piece of Toad Egg, i accepted that it has Reason. So, sitting with it in front of me, i got up and began looking through those 13 bags of cloth. Had to turn the lamp on, it got dark and i kept looking, nothing working until i gave up and went to sleep. Then immediately on rising this morning, while the tea water was heating, i was at it again. I took off the scraps of sky and sun. But now what. Back into the bags, running my hands through, trying this, that, no no no but then i found one piece and then others, actually in some way related to the first and then the Yellow/Gold piece of silk which i knew wouldn't stay, but it provided a key to what might work...
the whole of it got more and more beauty FULL to me, everything about it, and it started saying it was something that had gotten born, that earthRed thing and all these scraps... the place it had gotten born into.
i loved it and had to leave it to go to the Garden to give water. When i came back, i loved it more. This is What I Would Make. This kind of Cloth Thing. if i could * i thought. The place it was born is made of parts of Thrift shop clothing...i would leave the buttons...they are important, and i would figure out a way to stitch it as is...all a tangle, all dancing with its selfs, humming, not dancing, but something like dancing. I thought....like this. Like this, i'd put cloth together at Their direction and find a way to stitch them in this moving dimensional form, not compromising the beauty Full chaos.
But i can't. First it makes no sense. and then, there is no room. I would need a large like LARGE room...with tables for them to live on. I closed my eyes to picture such a room, and the tables were like my grandfather''s old oak library table with shelves of National Geographics and his can of Prince Albert on the side shelf near him. My grandmother's Begonias along the window side. I would need several of these. and Walls. And large windows.
What IS all this? It seems like so many things are suddenly asking to be seen, so many things becoming understood...not just cloth things, but some kind of All of It. I have begun again, reading Plant Intelligence and the Imaginal Realm Stephen Harrod Buhner. I blogged about this book years ago. I don't know what i said then and i don't have time to go back to find out. But i see, notes in the page margins that i did. In beginning again, it is if i had never read it. It is about Now. i have changed, coming here, living here in this Forest on this Hill. It has and IS teaching me many things, most i don't even know i'm learning.
How could i disturb this. i would have to sleep on the floor. Finally, this evening i scooted what i could of it onto the drawing board and moved it to the Table. I have these pictures. the *... I DID. i did make it. I have these pictures. and the exhilarating sense of it all, the experience. I know something more. it taught me, the redEarth form, and i'll go forward with it and it will teach me more. Ok.
