windthread

a perfect day of many things

one of which was starting Sunny the Toyota truck who i have neglected for maybe almost 2 months...Sunny who hauls the Goat Boat for evacuation.  Sunny who will be 40...40! years old next year.    Turn the key,  Turn the key and YES...no hesitation,  does not skip a beat,   STRONG,  STEADY.  And there's a storage tub in the truck bed.   This small cardboard box in it that was packed maybe 2 years ago,  things that needed to go.   Needed to stay safe.   Box taped closed and i didn't remember what was in it.   Here we have it.  I'll tape it up again tomorrow but tonight,  i touch each thing.  Love each thing.  Remember everything about all of them.   Every year i redecide what goes,  what stays.   Always,  tho,   the Tina quilt,  those 13 gigunda bags of scraps.   this box.

 

 

this pot.   Sarah Oh,   student of Deb  Price~Agrums   Artisan.blogspot   when she was teaching at Whitney High.  Sarah,  who i followed in her posts and was so lucky to be able to buy this  at their annual sale.   Because i loved it being a pot with a lizard,  because i loved everything about it,  because i wanted Sarah to know that her ART would be able to sustain her in her Life.  This pot i'll keep out for a while.   Sarah is in Art School in New York.   OR  maybe even has graduated.  Sarah....Love to you.

humbled

whatever else happens,  where ever else i go with cloth....    These.    All the while i am saying   I don't know,    they came.  Clearly and surely.   i will stitch.   Stop questioning and simply Receive.

if i could weep,

i would have.   but my "mind" wept.     With....surprise,  amazement and just some kind of Love,  a sentient consciousness for what it is to be human in this world we have created,  and  are creating,   in 2022.  In a world where we can evolve forward or back and which will prevail is unknown and really,  unknowable as it goes

i watched the light as Sun  rose and flowed in across this cloth in front of me and suddenly...i saw.    When nothing was coming,  when i was feeling empty of reason to make cloth,  empty of purpose and meaning

the forms and colors     and then....the beloved strip of black and white,  some familiar forms but within a  uhhhh,   flow that feels more like some kind of language .   and i instantly recognized it.   and went back to the words of Elizabeth Gilbert,  in conversation with Pico Iyer,   OnBeing.  the Future of Hope 3    2021 Nov. 18

"I feel very strongly that there's an intelligence in the universe that wants to communicate with us, and I think that it tries to find us in however we are most.....that we can most find it."

how hearing  those words,   i felt them as so true to my own sense of how it is,  how things are presenting themselves in these last years for me,  how they so perfectly SAID a Truth that i know and do not know.   How i loved so much she said them.  how grateful i was hearing someone say the thing i sensed.     

"Wants to communicate with us"

for each of us,   different.   For me...creating pictures with scraps of cloth.   How i find and hold my place as it all unfolds.

these words are inadequate.   But it was an Emrie day so i was there,   in the Real of her.   I can continue now,  as i stitch.  Trying to listen well.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~?~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i don't know what's going on with me and cloth.   It's never been like this before.   There are a lot of Life Things going on.  I say...maybe it's that.   But i don't think so.  it's between me and cloth.  Us.   Something.   I look at this,  that makes no

"sense"

and one of the things i think is....what if that strip of black/white,  the "other"side of it,   is the Only piece of it i have left.  i LOVE that strip of black/white.   Love isn't even a good enough word for how i feel about that strip of cloth.  What if it's the only one left?   It was sent to me.   a gift and i don't remember who or when...maybe Nancy?   or Michelle?   I wish i were a better person about keeping track of those things.  I always mean to,  but then they somehow just get stirred in with all the others  in some burst of making.

Maybe it's that the 13 XLARGE Gigunda bags of fragments are still in that back room.   Maybe it's that.  Maybe i need them out here,  across from me at this Everything Table.   After tomorrow i'll bring them back.  Pile them up there.   again.   see what Happens.   

sensing

even tho they have been released from the Doe Forest,  they   Come Back   here,  to the place where they ordinarily only go when it Rains.   Wary.   

2nd dressing change

still raw.  but no smell.  surrounding skin looking some better.    Topical  anti microbial,  non stick gauze pads,  gauze wrap then elasticized type wrap to whole leg to prevent excessive movement so nerves and ligaments can heal.  We send pics to Vet.  It's going to be slow going.   At some point she will return and evaluate.  Too soon for that yet.  He's holding his own.  There are several more superficial wounds on neck and side but they are scabbing     Continuing with crushed pills mixed with peanut butter and molasses smeared on ritz crackers which he looks forward to.   Meloxicam every other day and Gabapentin for pain every morning.   Gabapentin was what Tay had for the rattlesnake bite.   

he is using his foot,  hoof,  in more normal way today,  tho still drags it forward when walking,  but there is no longer any hesitation to do this.   Getting up and down is no longer a struggle.   He needs to remain in the Curry House Infirmary with the SunShine Corridor.   His yard is too steep.   Did i already talk about that?,  it's kind of all a blur,  these last days.

yesterday afternoon i opened the gates for the Doe Goats.   They are thrilled.    Heading out immediately and since,  have smelled and investigated every single rock and branch to orient again.  They are skittish  to sound and even movement of birds.  They remember.   Alert,   they just go.   yes.  

just this

it's everywhere.   Bees.

remember...thinking about comfort and solace?

 

Alyssia had brought a box from P.O.   We were so into the SunnyRay thing,  i didn't even look until so at the END of the day and it was beyond late for me.   I saw it was from Nancy.  Pomegranatetrail.blogspot and i guessed right.  Opening it i found 2 of the pod boats she has discovered as she witnesses and documents her Place on this planet.  These,  her Mar. 6 post.

i was exhausted,  but holding them....i reached behind me on Emrie's side of the Altar....set the boats a~sail.   Emrie's wizard and the small jade buddha,  their cohorts.    Such WONDER  full and perfect boats for gentle travel.

and then...this morning at first light,   the small jade buddha was Wildcrafting.

balm.  comfort.  solace.    of  gift and then Imagination.   Things that KEEP us.    Steady on the paths we find ourselves upon.  

 

Such hard things in the world right now.  But also,  such Love.   i wish for Ketanji Brown Jackson some kind of moment similar to sail her heart upon.   My HOPES are pinned on her robe tails.    She carries so many of us in her boat.  girls and women.   Who always have and always will take CARE of the

People.   

life

planted

 

where he went this morning.   the corridor out the back door of the Curry House.  about 6ft wide.

Curry House is called that because of the color of the paint.  That Jenny said she did not want a paint the color of Curry,  but when picking swatches,  picked curry.  Curry house.  It's what was built to house kidding does.   Hence,  the secure corridor behind for the little ones.  But now for Sunny's infirmary.  He made his way.  dragging his bum leg.   The grass being greener at the end of the corridor,  right?   

late afternoon Alyssia and Emrie arrived and we set to removing the splint.   painstakingly clipping all the wrapping away (almost 2 hours)    to reveal a still very raw and tender large wound and some small,    and tho not what could be called  "healing",    not smelling.  Not inflamed.  Not worse.   Just LARGE dog tooth puncture wounds to the bone.   The topical medication applied,  the nonstick gauze and then the wrap, wrap, wrap but without the splint this time.  Flexibility.   His hoof free (wrist).   We left him for a while.  Going back  later to give the FINAL PENICILLIN SHOT and he was feisty,  twisting and turning.   It took all 3  of us to accomplish.  Emrie in charge of dribble ing  alfalfa pellets into his bowl and handing scissors and tape.    But i get to wake up tomorrow morning and feed the morning feed.   Prepare his medicine crackers of pain killer and Meloxicam,  an alternative antibiotic,  crushed and mixed with peanut butter and  molasses.   NO INJECTION!!!!!!!!!!

I am so grateful for all the encouragement You All  gave of personal experiences.   Made a great difference in my determination to take my part in the whole process.    Am so glad i did.  I could have opted out....saying....I can't.  i being the OLD nana   and they would have filled in without a word.    But no one of us was easy with it,  good at it,  comfortable.  It was just hard.  We shared that Hard.   I thank Everyone SO MUCH.   

tomorrow,  probably too,  we will let the Doe Goats loose again.   Although the Doe Goat Forest  is large,  Large,   it is not the World that they have  made here on this Hill.   It's been hard for them.    6 days.   Dog has not come back.   We will just Go.   

 

 

this Place

i can go Here.   Even just a few moments at a time.  it is an alive Place.