windthread

who?

They

Working on building the garden bed at B and i turn the large,  maybe 50 lb plastic covered  cube of compost Up so i can open it.  and there

they 

were.   on the moist earth underneath.   Jerusalem Cricket.  all in their plasticy glory,  gold and black the striped Self, shocked to be exposed and completely  STILL until i scooped them into one of the GrowBags just there.  Then running frantically around the circle of the bag and i didn't look too long but went back to what i was doing,  letting my body get over my own shock of seeing them.   There's no way around it.   They are shocking.   Do not look at all real,  are so much more shocking to me than any Huntsman Spider.   Their face.   Sometimes there would be some living in the water wells of the trees in New Mexico.   Twice before here but this one the largest i've ever seen....the size of my thumb,  the body...the legs more.   When i did go back,  they had hidden their face under a stone.  Were still.    Wanting a photograph,  i tried to empty them out into that Yellow Bowl but they clung to the bag and ran and clung,  ran and clung.  I did this twice but they would not let go and when i set the bag down,  crouched,  face pulled in and pressed against the chest,  legs tight against their body.  Becoming as small and still as possible and i felt so bad.   That i had caused that FEAR because i wanted a picture of their ugliness.  It was late afternoon and Sun warmed,  i moistened the bag and took it a distance away to the shade near the frame of the house where there is all that cardboard spread in layers to prevent weeds and sprayed that wet too.  Left the bag turned on its side.   Said i was sorry.   it's hours later and i am still so sorry.   Neither of us would have intended the meeting.

a surprise!

daydreaming while watching water flow from the hose.  out of the corner of my eye...a message to LOOK and Lo and Behold!  After the intense rain of December,  all her mature "leaves"   became brown and withered at the ends.  Did not look good.   For a long time i have known i should repot...there are two children crowded in with her.   That might have happened any day and so, good that today i SAW this.    Anyone who knows Aloe....When i do repot her,  can i place her and her two children in the same pot if it is large and they have space between them?  What would happen if i just put them in the EARTH?...it doesn't  (or,  is not known to)  freeze here.

 

 

 

sure of themSelves

 

her and Puppy.   It got dark and she went off,  coming back with her stroller with the 3 friends in it.  She packs for herself when coming for a sleepover.   A lot of stuff.   I'd pushed the stroller to the doorway between the bathroom and that back room as soon as she got here,  but at dark,  she went for it.   Picked it up and put it on  the foot of the bed,  which is not quite a twin size.   I didn't comment.   Around 10:30 Puppy was asking to come in.    She usually would sleep where the stroller was.  But confidently asserted herself between Emrie and i in different configurations all night long.   Morning.   Time to go to B Garden.  The day to plant SunFlowers in the little toilet paper seed containers.  Off she goes with the stroller and the 3 friends.  Just how it is.   

Right before we left,  i asked her to Sit with me.   We did,  cross legged on the Earth in front of our SunFlower pots,  Fingers touching as she knows how to do and i told her i wanted us to do Metta together.   I told her that there was a man in a country Far Far Far Away who was mean.   Was hurting the people of that country.   I wanted us to do Metta for this.   She nodded...no comment and i said  we can just say these words of Hope.   We did.   first for the people of the country.   May you be safe.  May you be healthy.  May you be Happy.   May you live with ease.    We breathed 3 breaths.  then...for the mean man,  that he might learn to be kind.   We packed up the Toy Story people,  the pink plush bear named Paul and off we went.   All in a day.  Just going.   This is how she knows life to be.   I pray that never changes.   May she stay Sure.

 

sleep over day

such small things.   We are happy.

kinds of Real

Jenny,  daughter:   She ordered a mother's children's Art     Called to tell me this.

Etsy is waiving all seller fees for Ukraine citizens:  listing, advertising and transaction fees.

1.  Search "digital files" on Etsy.com

2. Click the "all filters" button and scroll down to "country".

3. Under "Custom"  enter Ukraine. " The results will include all digital files created and sold by Ukraine based Etsy sellers.  Once you purchase an item,  the file will immediately become available for download.  The transaction allows Ukranian sellers to earn money without having to produce anything new during this tough time."

this is an example.   Of the possibility of this time,   this    TIME,    a time of shift,   when we begin to be able to understand all that is at our

fingertips.   People.   Human beings.   So much.   at our fingertips.   The world has become  different.  The Planet is a planet of neighbors.   All kinds.   We choose.   

 

 

present as self...this Earth

there was a storm.    Thunder.   a lot.   we were Alert.   and then some Rain.  Not a lot at all but enough that the scent was in the air.   Then,  peace.   Quiet.   Stillness and Sun came through to create this world that was only for moments and then disappeared.  

Part 2 from yesterday. Big Wondering in rudimentary form

NPR  Morning Edition 3/3   Art and Music Therapy seem to help with brain disorders  Scientists want to know why.  It's a 6:53 listen.   

Creative Forces an arts therapy initiative sponsored by National Endowment for the Arts.   How the arts are increasingly being used to treat brain conditions including PTSD,  depression,  Parkinson's and  Alzheimer's.   Neuro Arts Blueprint,  a partnership between John Hopkins  Internet Arts + Mind Lab Center for applied Neuro aesthetics and the Aspen Institute's Health  Medicine and  Society Program.   It goes on.   About studies on how the arts activate multiple parts of the brain.

Renee Fleming,  an American Soprano,  performed while inside a MRI Scanner.   Singing,  imagining singing,  speaking.  The largest effect was seen in

Imagining singing.

Imagining singing.   This clicked.   With this thing i do,  a LOT,  which many of us do....we look at stuff.   When i look at the stuff above,  i remember Making.  I see new possibility.   I imagine.        This is important.  They are wanting to make a new category:  Brain Scientists and Art Therapists.   Neuroarts.

And then.   From the beginning of humanity,  homo sapiens have drawn pictures,  utterances became language and song,  materials were pieced together,  formed  woven  sewn  drums and rattles flutes  stringed things.  Fire and Seed.  This was our Evolution.  All of Us.  the whole planet of Us.   How we Evolved.   I might not understand,  but i think that species,  plant, bird, animal, reptile, insect Evolve and refine in that Evolving because it is advantageous.  What is not,  is shed along the way.  The things that we are,  over and over have given the abilities to conceptualize and then actualize,  create,  means to give life to these attributes.

here's where i drift

That thing that Elizabeth Gilbert and i  feel as an Intelligence of the Universe,  that WANTS TO COMMUNICATE WITH US...at this juncture,   that  WAS,  Already  ....at the beginning of Us...and at this juncture,  is  seeking communication

What if enough of Us sense this and respond...as a continuation of our

Evolution.  the Evolution of our species.

?

 

 

 

 

 

"my brain" "my mind" "me" and our very big thought.

 

 

 

i have been doing someThing for quite a while now.   Thinking a Big Thought.   

I have been thinking a Big Thought for quite a while now.   OR   the Thought has presented  its Self ,  does present its Self for me to think.    I have no capability to give words  to It or the thinking OF It.    But i have been and am,  more and more preoccupied  to the extent that everything now appears to be a part of it.    Preoccupied.    And now....add a

WAR

why is this    WAR  seeming to be so different?    There have been Wars all along my life.    

this was a Town day.  i left late and came home late.   Switched over all the ice for the refrigerator,  brought in food,  mine, dog, cat.    Did  the Evening Routine that includes 3 green somethings for Nogal at his fence,  tonight, 3 green beans.   Was a grey day with RAIN forecast   tomorrow.   Some new information was given for the Big Thought this morning but i couldn't stay with it.  But i did,  long enough to realize clearly that how i THINK is by looking.  By rearranging things,  letting things trip off memories or senses or weave connections.   The things gathered above.   Together.   Singular but part of a Whole.   

so i am not making sense.   But that's going to have to be ok because it's how it all is right now.   I somehow have

Faith

that i will ,   uhhhh,   that i will......        ........    uhh,  come to a new place.    Where i haven't ever been before.     And it will be the right place to be.

 

 

Either. Or. What about AND? What about ALL.

looking in the storage tubs at B,   this time for the black Czech beads.   There was  the spool of Fine copper wire.  My grandfather's.   And this faded image.   Nisargadatta Maharaj.   on the inside of a backing  for what was actually in the frame for years.    An Indian guru of nondualism,  belonging to the Inchagiri Sampradaya ,  a lineage of teachers from the Navnath Sampradaya and Lingayat Shaivism.   How i have wandered.  often mindlessly.

There was a woman,  a psychic.   Cathy Florida who lived just outside of Ann Arbor.    I had gone to her a couple times for a reading.    You arrived at her home and following phone  instructions ,   let yourself in,  to her screened in front porch.   CARE full y.  There were MANY parakeets,  loose,   in and out of their birdcages,  maybe 20?   Maybe 30?   a lot....just flitting about among a room FULL of Elephants.   All kinds of Elephants ,  large small,  ceramic,  painted,  carved.   And you waited there until she was ready for you and would come to bring you in.   She would take a small clipping of your hair and place it in her bible then ask you to bow your head while she prayed.   You then told her why you had come.   There was some silence and then she just told you things.  I think back.   Those things are as useful today as they were then.   30 something years.   Truth is truth.   She taught meditation classes and i took those.  Her Guru,  here.   Nisargadatta Maharaj   His book,  one of them,   Alyssia and i call the Blue Book.    I AM THAT.    She gave us the mantra.   So Ham.    So with the in breath,  Ham with the out.   

I  Am

all these years,  all the iterations,   even through all the Buddhist Teachings,    So Ham.    Breathe.   So Ham.    When i am afraid.  So Ham.   When i am needing to move fast,  like for evacuation,   So Ham.   When Alyssia was laboring with Julian's birth,  So Ham.  Plane Flights,  So Ham.   Animals being born,  Animals dying.  So Ham.    Has never failed me.   I quiet.   i breathe.   and even tho i still don't "know" the I Am,   i quiet and rest in the I AM.   Every day,  on waking and sleeping.   So Ham.   

i found the copper butterfly...with beads....on the floor in the bathroom.  Washed it.   Now What?   Back to the Grass Person?,  or did she have other intentions?