windthread

today. another today. another bless~ed today

this third scrap.....

internet works early....i wake at 6am or thirty and it works till maybe almost 9a.   Then the middle of the day,  not.  But this morning.  I listen about Teachers,  NPR.  There is a podcast...Rumble Strip....about the death of dogs.  and then i read of today's doings of this world and i think....

This day rising.  To have 

this day rising where there is no death here....this rising,    

i am understanding death differently,  yet,  i prefer just going,  continuing,  keeping same,  not ending    Yet

and i think...How to love this day of no death here.    I think how so much of the time,  i see my self  thinking ...of what i do...as ....."Having " to do it:   I have to go feed    I have to make that peanutbutter molasses cracker for that crippled old Goat,  i have to change out and fill the water bowls,   all the effort it takes,  how i walk,  often bent,  breathe to and with the effort , how it is effort,  how it IS   Effort,  yes ....it Is.   and yes.   I have to do it.  They wait for me.   Every day.   They wait for me.   I DO.  have to.

and i look at that.   again....becoming my own Life Coach...as i did when need ing to give the injections to Sunny Ray...how i stopped and saw that I was spending hours dreading...dreading what i Had To Do and what actually Doing   took less than a minute...and how i CHANGED  THAT

so i 

saw it 

as what i do.   I walked and breathed into the effort.   Held this feeling:   let it take me Into it.  Let Life    live me.  See how that happens,   SEE.  really See  how life lives me.  

Journal Entry.  Scrap 3 is about this.

  

the Beauty of how it goes

 

i posted these first two pics on the 19th....the second being my guilt Gall which has been in the Circle Basket since,  me 

being sure i'd disrupted it's process.     Some  nights ago,  late evening really,  dusk,   there was a battle at the little kitchen window over the sink.   A winged being having tangled self in the Cellar  Spider's web.  A battle...the spider lunging,  the trapped winged being lunging back.  Fierce.   I got up and looked....the winged being different than any i know,  kind of like the ones that arrive in the evening... kind of looking like a crane fly but dark colored and it had a

neck.     and a different face

i caught it in a jelly jar and took outside.   then a few days later,  another one,  but smaller and again the jelly jar but it had a drop of water in it and when i tried to shake the being free,  it was stuck...i left the jar sitting on the table out there.     a.m. ,  going out to feed,  i looked and it was still at the bottom of the glass....so i tapped it out onto the table,  it moved...i went off and when i returned it was gone.

 

 

yesterday eve,  while doing end of day house keeping,   i SUDDENLY thought! , Out of the Blue. ... Could that winged being BE?  a Gall Wasp?     Looked in the basket and  lo and behold!  I feel like National Geographic....,  that wondrous.   I am so Grateful to have been born to this Planet ,  this Earth,  so Grateful to be part of it all

 

Soap plants

 

they used to be here and there all over.   The first spring i was here i thought it was an Iris plant...by the kind of leaf,  the formation of leaves.    But soon learned by the single very long stem of Flowering that it was not.   I saw them,  many,  in the corridor that Sunny Ray now inhabits.   Saw them at night when they appear to glow in the dark., the moonlight.....

now there are only a few at Campsite B.   They are difficult to photograph.  By the time the stalk and flowers appear,  the mother plant herself is all dried and flattened.   The stalks with blossoms are taller than i am...i'm about 5foot 1....any thing,  even a Breath of Air,  let alone slight slight breeze moves them,  blurring.   

Soap plant.

Earth.   Gives soap.

 

scraps

i don't know words for this.   or,  really,  i don't know what would be needed to precede any words...as in...a thought?    it was just a doing...taking the three little scrap bags.   this   this   this    and they are not uhhhhh,   aesthetically pleasing,  or in accordance to any sense of  "design,  they just Showed Up and were pinned in place  and remained that way today...what might become of them is unknown in the moment?  

TO SAY

internet has been horrible.   i have no idea why.   There are  brief moments early in the morning and late at night,  otherwise not much.  You spend time getting into a blog or a message and begin to respond and then it disconnects.   It's not just me,  my phone,  my connection...bigger than that but there is no available explanation.  So forgive me if i have not responded to a mail,  if i have not commented on a post.   I am trying and i can't.

Love to All

U tube

Zoe Keating

Radical cello

still, on~going

these two...of the Same....the first...how that Intelligence of the Universe plays out in my mind,  in my days,   what i SEE,  what i FEEL,    how i am "able to receive It"

and this one now...how It might be,  tho i can never have a glimpse,  really,  but how complex and just ALIVE It might be,  being nothing and also Everything...just Creative Energy 

CatherinE commented...."Wondering about making cloths that reflect tragedy,  but retain a beauty.  Is it even possible?"

i LOVed that she gives these words.   that are about my wondering,  as i go,  as i listen to this latest Cloth,  as i live as  one of a community here,  of all that is part of my life,  which includes the life in Buffalo and Uvalde and Ukraine,  women's wombs, this Earth.   I love the question.   reflect tragedy but retain a beauty.  because both are REAL  and our hand is in each.

 

 

 

 

what to say?

so

Jude is going into cloth and paper.   stitching and

drawing

and this,   this 

form

of plant fiber   that i have had for so long.   That is in that basket that i photograph so often,  with other living things, stones, shell,  with safety pins recently...That basket,   where it 

LIVES    in an incredibly Beauty Full tangle of fiber that is STRONG.   in its present form that we might call dead

i have followed along on Velma's blog...Wake Robin...velmabolyard.com    for years.   Her papermaking.  ALL that it IS.

There's SO MUCH to think about.   

 

how it can go

i love how it goes.   i begin a Cloth and am all happy and then,  think...oh, eeee this isn't going to be able to happen and i go through  as many of those 13 bags of scraps/fragments as it takes and suddenly....YES...it's going to work...and here we are again,  this time with a piece of cloth that i have had forever,  from Oregon i know,  but not how....but do know from Oregon,  when i went there imagining i would make a new life.   and it turned out i DID,  but it just  wasn't in Oregon.   and was a different life than i had imagined.

Life is so amazing when someone doesn't kill you first,  before you've had a chance to find out how it can happen.

cloth Work

cloth making takes thoughts and feelings and puts them in our Hands where we can give them form....release them  .   Can you see the Eye in the middle?    The thread beads   (Jude Hill),   their loose threads....depict Energetic Forms.   Deb Lacativa's  Dirty Thread...seperating the 6 strands...using just one.  Maybe tomorrow i'll use more.  maybe 3?at a time?

 it's not going to be this,  but it was a totally interesting experiment.   And here,   the One Salt Cedar stick that Jan sent back.  How much i love this  stick.  

Journal note:   take pic of  Free choice mineral feeder.      Jenny had bungee corded  the Free Choice mineral feeder to a tree.  It works like that.  Finally.   They "knock" on it when empty.   4th time now,  when i take off the lid there is a 

BIG

huntsman spider...just ,  there....and when i lift the bag of minerals and begin to pour she moves just far enough not to be touched by this disturbance i put the lid back.  Today,  i stayed longer, looking at her and then looked at the lid...how she has made a web home in the indentation of the handle of it.   it's an ify place for a home i think?,  but maybe not...i fill the feeder only every couple weeks so i guess the days inbetween are how she likes it?   But....how does she work it,  when all those mineral granules are filling the space?   How does she ....hunt?    So i need to remember to leave space for her 

 

~finally~!!!!!!!~

Who gifted me this cloth?   i am so sorry.  so apologetic.   it has been saved...for so long that i don't know,  that its  identification has been separated from it     It has been SAVED.   

and today...i think today is its day

and it is with a flood of relief and happiness.   I NEED to make cloth things.  

and go

to Angie's place...threadcatcher.blogspot.com     She's over there....STANDING.....STRONG