windthread

just more

i found the large piece of canvas wall cloth.  45" wide.   it gives me a sense of what i will need.   Knew today that i will put a wide border  all around.  All with Kantha.  

please don't feel obligated to comment.   there will be a lot of a certain kind of repetition but i need to document.   I am used to feeling like i should put something   "new"  at least intermittantly.   That's not happening right now.   The total focus is here.  

as i was just Looking all eve,   something wasn't  "right".   aside from the yellowy  light.    they had been pinned randomly.    Realized late that top right was upside down.   it mattered.   wanted to be turned.   

when searching for the canvas i found an old curtain*   from New Mex window,    from Thrift shop  Tienda Segunda ,  Socorro ,  the most magnificant source of old cloth.   and for nothing,  i googled.   An article,   May 2022.   They  need volunteers.   I WISH  i could go.   Could i drive there a couple days  week?   How great would that be?   But....then i remember.   Part of the reason for these quilts is to use up these bags of cloth i live with like family,  even part of my own self.    I don't know how many things i got there over the years beside cloth.   my own clothing,  shoes,  boots,   books and magazines,     and tools.  baskets and picture frames.   it was/is truly a Wonder Filled place.      There was 10 cent Tuesday. 

*very thin old cotton...will use in the middle for one.   there might be two.  if not,  will use all the rest of the harem cloth for the second.    For mine,  if i get that far,  maybe no middle?   Jenny says she just wants a sheet .   which i don't have,  which will be up to her to find and purchase.   but all that's a ways away.   no need to go there now.  Just be Here.   Here is more than Enough.

 

the imagination of cloth

i stayed up Late to finish this one.   by the light of the lamp.   was uncomfortable with it...felt very edgy.   

 

before i went to sleep i wanted to pin it up so i could look  first thing  in the morning.   Had to  move the others down some and was tired and just let them overlap,  stood on the stepstool to pin it to the top,  not wanting to disturb the order of the others.  

First thing this morning...there it was!  and much to my surprise...somehow,  all of them together like this somehow had  become a ....quilt.   How quilts Are.   Instead of just  blocks,   there was  ......uhhhhh,   Interaction.     With its presence,  had become community.   ????    So...again.  even in this  traditional way...cloth Teaches.      cloth,  its Self,      has Imagination.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

no te rindas!

marble size.   Red Kuri.    a Beauty FULL vine,  many blossoms  that withered.   But here.   Now.   This.  

clearer

the last cloth  before i decided not to make anymore cloths.   It wasn't even really a Cloth...just a scrap,  in its natural form with a square sewed on,  with an Eye drawn....with the question.....What is under the sqaure?   and i tried to ...uhhhh....DO someThing,  by adding ribbons of Deb's Thread.   but no.   No more cloth i said.

 

i 

and then...These.   Out of  "nowhere".   That one on the upper right,  i finished this morning.   Keeping two aside for when/if i make myself a blanket.    

 wondering about them,  but i watched self tracking the rectangles and they spiraled around the square according to Faith AiryCat's Map .   As i sew,  i track them.   As i pin them on the "wall cloth",  i see again,   the mapping,  the sequences of each that match the sequences of any other

yesterday i remembered NLP.   Neurolinguistic Programing.   My oh so belov~ed Margery Burke Price and i took the train to Chicago for the workshops.    Richard Bandler and John Grinder in the 1970's

a long time ago.   I google NLP   just touch the surface  " of the world that they learn through sensory experiences.

    NLP tries to detect and modify unconscious biases or limitations of an individual's map of the world.  of the world they learn through sensory experiences."    Medical News Today  Timothy J. Legg  Aaron Kandals   2017       There's so much more,  but that's enough in the moment.      Map.   the individual's Map of the world.   and then

Mo comments with word that Stephen Harrod Buhner has a new book:   Earth Grief:  the journey into and through ecological loss

i have mentioned off and on over the years his book    Plant Intelligence and the Imaginal Realm   into the dreaming of Earth 

and now

this.   Earth Grief.     I go look and i am so beyond HAPPY.    Everything begins to make sense.   Grief.   DEEP.  DEEP.  GRIEF.

this i have.  this i wake to each morning.  This all the "News" relates to.   This deep deep deep GRIEF.   

is it 

depressing?

no.   there was happiness.   Grief is Grief,  fully felt,  like love,  it think.   Maybe Grief IS love.

 there is a small green knob the size of a marble on the Kuri Squash vine.   All these months of   faithful watering,  many blossoms that came to naught.              and    This morning,   a flock of Geese....called a 

skein

flew and called    high overhead.

the shift

it's 90 again...for a few days then 80s.   But the shift is palpable.   I think,   the light.    Same for me.   the light.   

the nature of consciousness

 

getting to the bottom of so many things.

so,  yes.    it's the cloth.   its  touch,  in hand,  ....the texture,  weave,  weight,  density or non,   and   color.   pattern.  or non.   a pile of it here,  next to me,  less than a foot away from my left arm,   atop that basket of stuff,  on the bench at this Table.  All    it has to do is   BE here.   it's almost enough.     but then,   i thought all day......,    what happens.    Sewing.   Sewing.   what a simple word that everyone knows.   needle and thread.    i'm thinking about sewing.   

all this  coming about from continuing to be Surprised by the satisfaction i am feeling from making these simple spiral/squares.  I never dreamed it possible.   I thought that making  "pictures" with cloth   collaged cloth  was the only way,   and to find the same   Pleasure,   the  same   Love     can come from these.....?????    And the common element   is    Sewing.   

but then...i glanced up at that collage on the wall.    torn paper.   a ground for it.  glue.   

and drawing.   the pencil   the quality of its lead...hard/soft     the paper,  it's tooth or non

and the common denominator of all is     the hand    and the hand  is me.   Something   In me     gets to come Out of me,  show itsSelf   to me and   show me how it    Feels     when i  hold it up to the world in which i am living,       as part of that world?????

or what

in Contrast

in contrast to the image of yesterday...here is Beauty on the Hill.   in my    life.    The Doe Goat Rain Shelter.   I raked and pitch forked all the compressed rice straw we use for bedding.   They only go in here when it rains.   But that means,  for the months of sometimes November through March.  December and January almost every day.    Even when the earth is very wet,  they sleep Out.  Only when water is falling from the Sky.    I should have taken a pic....there's a pile of old straw, with urine and shit  that i will take to B Garden little by little on the sled.    You can see tho,   there's a zillion  of the little poops still.   They are completely  dry and like petrified.   There is no smell.  Goat shit is Lovely.   Neat and useful.   When mixed with soil and/or compost,  decomposes to total nutrient.    That's the mended chair.   The top mend on the left arm isn't stitched down.  Came later.  and you can see on the back of  the seat,  a hole?   My thumb went through once when moving it.   I think the seat is also rotting.  I think it's not long for this world.  But today,  Perfect.   Rake     Rest.   Rake    Rest.   totally satisfying .

 

 

and before and then after....this.    I looked at it for #10,  it's a piece of a blouse.  that i love.  and i had the urge,  tried to resist but didn't and continued with it on down #11.   There are 3 button holes.   i like them there.  Eyes.   What If?,  i'm thinking...what if i am able to get some walnut dye that works well.   It can be  similar to the patterns on this blouse.....?    i like this.     in contrast to the center.  i do harbor a secret hope to make myself a cloth blanket after the 2 are finished.   I'd use the Walnut cloth.  a lot.

Beauty

a few people i love have active FaceBook pages.    when i go to read,  i look around.    Today,  this.   i'm not sure what it means to me,  but i thought about how people Out There,   all over,   look for,  find   and create Beauty of all all all kinds.   Someone...an Interior Design person?,   created this.    How truly Beauty Full it is.   

 

different things could happen

 

two   long time people    in my life died last night.      I think i would like to die at Equinox.   would like to Slip Through then.

to me,  the tender most moment of a year.  Fall Equinox.

a day in a Life

taken by lamplight,  late.

i reaized today that a Quilt

means a Quilt.

it's not just blocks of cloth pieced together,  but once there are enough,  they are set to the Ground and then....

quilted.

i have never done this.    i looked closely at the Tina Quilt,  felt it,  studied it.    What it means,   to  quilt.   

and i said i want to make two.   One for Jenny   another for Alyssia and Emrie to share.     

my life here has become completely oriented to Season.   OUT SIDE of me,    me,  being one with the Season,  part of it.   This coming Rain Season is so perfect for this.   Spring will not be,  so much.    There will be Garden of which i am part...as in,  i am Garden too.    So this will be it.  You might grow weary of it,   looking here,  but......oh well.   I am determined.

Today,  here,   7 brought me to a standstill.   I wanted to take it off.   i couldn't see any way forward.   Went back and forth from it.   and Alyssia an Emrie came to bring ice.   Emrie has a cold so we distanced.   She at the Umbrella Table,  Alyssia beyond in one of the plastic adarondiac chairs,  me in the patched folding camp chair.   Emrie painted and now and then told of School Things.   it was Easy....the exchanges....Alyssia and i,  with Emrie between...no one feeling any urgency,  just Easy.   I heard about the playground,  the cafeteria that had a good corn dog,  the new friend she said was named Cavity and we smiled and Alyssia said maybe Cassidy?,  but Emrie said no...Cavity.  But we kept with maybe not and i suggested she ask her tomorrow again.  She agreed to.   And Isaiah is in a different class now.  But Martin is still there and one of the mean girls threw a rock at him.   Martin is a main player in this kindergarten class.   He comes up a lot.   Either causing some trouble or receiving it.   And she spent some effort telling and then showing me how Miss Joyce goes about with her Walker.   Different in the classroom than on the playground where she lifts it up.   Demonstration.   We talked a little about how sometime soon she might go stay many sleepover days with her Dad in Texas.   How she has so many,  Family,  there that want her to come.  And how it might be a little hard.   and i said like kindergarten was at first.   And she connected totally....Yes,   i cried 3 days and i didn't want Ms Johnson to go to lunch.   yes...and how do you remember that now?......"i didn't need to.   Everything is Ok".  Everything is Good."

She painted 3 pictures.  Variations on a Theme of  a LARGE rainbow,  with rain falling,  a SUN.  People underneath.  One for me,  one for Nana (Jenny)  one for Alyssia.   All same theme,  but all different.  When she left,  she asked me to draw a picture for her.  Paint it.   This person is very different than the one just a few weeks ago.

back to the above.   7 was hard.   i tried over and over.   But then after they left,  i tried again and 10 reconciled.

there  might be storms tonight.