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began with just pencil to paper, to ease it all, no forethought whatsoever. this after several iterations....just continuing, because the doing of it is comforting. '
if you see some image, don't tell me. i need to go "blind". i don't "like" it, but i need it. need the doing of it. the continuing.
ive tried to get a pic of this branch a zillion times...it is so delicate...ephemeral in a way...that's the wrong word, but leads in the right direction. There are 7 arms/legs of it and it is dancing. it extends Out over the space of this table. To see it as it truly is i will need to get it down to B Garden and afix to the fence, but i wonder if even then.
it was there. at the Feed Shed door. it's base, tucked in so it Stood UP as i approached. This was the Big Wind day.
Kay also said: dismiss Nothing as "not her". Next to me, Tay loved sticks.
so i tried something i've never tried before....Maybe? and i also filled out yet another Help Ticket with Typepad. We'ss see when i push publish.
Internet not good in general. Takes forever to just get here. keeps saying This site can't be reached or No Data Connection. Maybe snow.
and then, the reality of where i'm at.
i am just Drifting. I didn't go down for the Burning today. Didn't have it in me. it was cold and drizzly. I spent time with this Spiral...that Center One that has such meaning. you've all seen it many times before...nothing new....but i find i can keep looking and looking and looking. Sitting with it. Like i can with the whole thing here. Other people, jude, saskia, dee, liz are just going with so many things. I am not. I am just HERE, with these spirals, with this thing of Staying Open which i don't know how to do. With Rain and cold. Just Here. and it bothers me. Nothing for blog Content in me. I could make something up, but it would be dishonest. What to do?
so...let's see if the pic has stayed.
so here we are again, same as yesterday. BUT, as CatherinE made the Brilliant discovery, if you click the pic to enlarge, it orients correctly! So, again. after today, if this continues, i don't know. Internet in general is weak.
a mess here. and i just don't care. Other than the glorious SUN moments of that pic, it has rained. All day all night. repeating. and now with the exception of a half day tomorrow (when they are hoping to burn) rain is forecast through the coming week. sometimes mixed with
s n o w
as yesterday late afternoon and then the early part of today, not really snow flakes, but sleet. not far from here in Magalia, they got 14 and a half inches of snow. it's cold.
the top row of spirals are stitched in place...just the top of them. the first will need to be repositioned. the second row, with the 3 will remain only pinned. Am not sure what's happening there.
Today i tried. over and over to get the third line right. All needed to be moved a little to the left and i kept thinking i did it but then standing back, i didn't.
the cloth held me enough. and then, an interview with Iris DeMent NPR All Things Considered. I love her. and listened a couple times to YouTube, Inspite of Ourselves....her and John Prine....how she said she "carries him with her".
i can't turn it. orient it. Typepad just won't. so ok. it needs to be here anyway...Journal page IMPORTANT so here then. This way. these are the piles of branches and twigs that need to be dealt with. Fire fuel. it is forcast rain all this week. They gathered them and on last weekend covered with the tarps. Rain will make all earth wet. as safe as can be for fire. Burn these
piles this coming weekend. All the larger pieces were set along the road for the Chipper Program. These are for us to deal with. That paragraph wasn't intended. this is a mess, this post....i give. Done for now.
high temp today 42, rain/even snow!, even more, i give
hadn't been there since Tay got sick and couldn't go that far but yesterday i went to get the hose spray nozzle to use down at A. They are going to burn brush from the tree work.
and there.....much to my Joy....the young Manzanita is BLOOMING! Her first time. was windy, the lense not clean ...bad photograph but they are there, the ever so tenderly conch shell ivory blush of pink little coral bell like flowers....i could not believe my eyes.... i am so honored. i think how everyThing is different, but love is love, remains. is. Love is Love.
there's Jack. Jumpin Jack Flash. He who aspired to become Buck of the Universe. and sort of was. so short a time he had his day. but now, back at it, his old self that never learns. repeat. repeat. repeat. We covered the whole front fence line with a kind of chicken wire that worked, sort of, worked enough. but now it's the whole fenceline along that side meadow. There's no real reason for shoving his head through. that i know of anyway. an urge. When i go to feed, i'll find him like this and get my leather gloves, the Big wire cutters and cut him loose....you cut first then bide your time till his head is in just the right position and pull the cut piece up enough for him to pull his head out....watching out for getting my hand squashed by his horns. This is why we disbud Goats....prevent their horns from growing as babies. Jack was disbudded by my Vet back in N. Mex. as were others. He wasn't good at it and several went on to grow Scurs....as we see here. The hornless does, disbudded. can stick their heads through and get back easily. Sunny Ray has huge scurs...actually, one is almost a full horn. but he doesn't do this fence thing.
a crow has been coming. i ache
for Tay's presence in the old way
twilight. Talkie goes to bed. Same. Every day. as she goes, slowly up the branches, one to another, she talks to herself, a long conversation of things, once she's there, on her twig, she stops. Silent till morning. to repeat another and another and another day.
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