could not be more perfect. Glancing out the Morning Window. Last night, thunder, hail, Great Wind. and here...the hammock swing that Emrie and i had just untangled, Flung. But so Beauty FULL y flung.... The bamboo Dragon chime, Still, Still somehow remaining. Those towels, still. how they've been there weeks now, hung there in hopes of drying so they could be packed up for someday laundry, still. Hanging. This pic is so perfectly emblematic of these last months, these days now that are ordinarilary ...spring....
so...perfect. and if i do go on to find a new way here, this pic can be returned to over and over to Receive it all as it goes, as it pauses, as it just is a Still Image of how it is.
#1 3/ 23/23 FIX
i want to
i am trying to
FIX
What i can't. What is not mine to Fix.
i can't make Tay's changes easier to live with. The Earth will do what the Earth will do.
maybe it's as simple as that. ? .
#2 3/25 /23 THE words
a few weeks ago i had written to Wendy. Telling her that Tay had died and asking if it might be possible to Borrow back the Tay Cloth that i had made some years ago for the children in her healing space. She responded yes, but it was in storage, that she would be moving again and would send soon as possible.
the other morning, watching Morning come over the Rise, through the curtain of downpouring rain....i closed my eyes and silently called out.....Help. Please. Mid morning an email from Wendy. She would be moving the first of April, would send the Cloth as soon as it was unpacked and then,
these words
"I hold with you the ineffable, deeply grinding, and necessary grief that leads us somewhere Else...always in service of Life" Wendy Golden Leveitt
these words. that Help. that speak of how it feels, and also point to a Truth....always in service of Life. I can go. with these words. I'll write them on a small piece of paper and place them in a very small silk pouch that Liz made and sent in 2021. Sometime i'll take a pic. Ok for now. Thank you to EveryOne who has stayed here with me.
#3 3/26/23 Archive
and the Archivist, Marti. in comments of yesterday. Beloved Marti. She brings a link to a post of 12/28/2014 Steadfast.
as i say a lot...i don't go back in the archives. Don't look back. Here, she found a post that i could not have imagined being there. So tied to today, so Threaded to now. surreal. and how grateful i am that there has been this Pause, this experiment, this need to linger. giving Time for her to follow the thread of her intuition and search, Find. How it brings the Dog Cloth, the Tay Cloth, but also so much more. Perfect for this present when so much is in Question.
i read back some posts before, to who i was then. To What Then was. it's like reading the story of some person. a person i know very well. but someone Else. Who lived in a different world. and.............somehow, it's also as if All That still exists. ??? Last night i thought it was time to move along. but now....i need to stay some. FEEL what all this is. Maybe find Why it's been given? How it can inform and offer new and good meaning to how things are now.
Thank You, Marti. Beyond Thank You
