it was perfect that i couldn't give this words last eve. i have realized over this time that i want to go very slowly with this. Last night i might have been prone to "interpreting" what i was or thought i was seeing. It's too soon. I need to wait. Sit with it, let it speak as it will. I can, continue with trying to draw the creek, flowing water. Go on with the old log that was over the creek that i used to lie on...on my stomach, face over the edge, for hours, watching how with just the slightest shift in my attention i was able to see so many levels of the creeks life....from the surface, reflecting light, with water striders spinning, creating circular ripples and down on to the bottom where the caddis fly nymphs in their glorious creations moved .
I can say a few things. this began as all these drawings are, with the oval of a face. i never know who the face might be or why it is appearing. it goes from there. This one was for sure me. not just "a" child, but me, i could feel it. and then the Tshirt got the stripes...Yes. Me. That Tshirt that i wore almost constantly as much as i was allowed.....the stripes the colors of my most prized shooter marble. And there i was. The other figure....coming as a complete surprise. I don't know what to say about this and really, dont want to say anything much at all at this point, but i can say....this is my sister. Sharon. She died, by drowning, when i was 7 years old, she 15. I have certain Facts about her but i have and have never had ANY sense of who we were before she died. this is abnormal.
But i immediately know the figure to be her. I see at first the gesture of the hand as wanting to touch. and so that urge to correct it, but then no. the hand is holding something.
So this is enough for now. I will continue with the water, the log over the creek, maybe that ancient Willow Tree that this place of the planet belonged to.
