windthread

just touching

for no reason.   There's a couple zip locks in the big basket on the other bench...very small scraps.....

it felt good to touch them.

the play of light

looking out into the Doe Forest the words come into the mind....the play of light.

i think,    Notice         the      play of light.

and if     you     Notice   the play of light,  do you just notice?  and go on with whatever?,   or   do you stay.   Noticing.   a

while

and how long might that while be?   and what if it ,    off and on,   fills a day?    or two?    or three,   or?

Stuff can take time.   How much do we want to give it?,   are Willing to give?   and then,  it "starts up"...mind asks...Why?   What's it FOR,   noticing the play of light?     there's no answer.   so what if you just do it.   see what happens

preparing

Jenny came and we got things done.    Rain Season is close.   Cleaned out the Rain House so it's ready for the first layers of bedding straw.   Re routed the water run off channel  at Jack's Feed Shed.  Moved and broke up the small tree that fell there,  added to the pile on the other side of the road up that's for  when  next we rent a chipper.  and here,

moved Nogal's calf hutch in to Jack's place.   In the back of the pic...his tarp tent that's his rain house which he loves.  It stays dry,  magically somehow,  is in a perfect position to shield from wind blown storms and he loves it because it's open at both ends.  I'm thinking that the hutch might work for those times when there is no break in the rain.   They will not eat wet hay.  It's close enough to the gate for me to toss  a chunk inside,  where even if he won't go in,  he can stick his head in to eat????  It's worth a try.   Little things matter a lot.   

and conversation.   like...do i or do i not want more chickens?   That one is forever ongoing.   I do,  because  eggs just OutSide are such a WonderFull thing.   I don't because everything comes with a down side....free range chickens are,  well free range.  and get into everything,   into everybody's business.   Coops require a lot of maintenance...cleaning.  And draw predators.   in general,  chickens are drama.   and,  we talked about food.  the new Jamaican restaurant in Chico and my recent big fail with macaroni and cheese.    She is hoping her change in position at work will allow for more flexibility.   I hope.  I and this Hill have missed her.    She's smart,   strong and Able.    It was a good day.

 

 

circling from long ago

this gossamer silk       on some edges and as here,  inside.....felted with wool.    such surprising   satisfyingly deep visual and tactile experience

from Yvette's hand  and heart....many many years ago and being perfect now

i DID begin again today.   and surprised.   When last i sat with the long mala,  it seemed so much.   Today,  not at all.     I think about what has changed.   ..only me.

it had hung on the curtain rod of the big window of that tin house in Polvadera New Mexico,   the one that was the window to the Rim of the world to the West and and today as i held it,  that view was still Inside it,  the view,  the window,   the Rim,  New Mexico still.   Just as it was.   This helps me understand.....Time.

putting my house in order

 

  

i began the day with cleaning the Altar .    This,  the far corner....Snoop Dog's corner.  I've had a crush on him for so long.  Him and the Our Lady 7 Day candle from New Mex,  long empty          And i thought why not,   i went to YouTube  Doggyland,  his Affirmations Song .   This morning on NPR   headline:  One of the world's most famous stoners has announced he's giving up the ganja

the mission of the day was to see if i could find my mala.   I was thinking of the old old wrist mala.   And i found it  AND the long one that i'd almost forgotten i have...i never used it much,  it's long.   A LOT of repititions,   a LOT of prayer,  a LOT of no distraction .   They were with things in the vehicle Evacuation bin.  Yes.

now i have them both.  Again,  i say.   I am Ready       Tomorrow,  i'll begin.   

journal

a Seed thought:

Wanting     Needing   ???       "Things"  to be     different.       to change.        But watching  self letting that be just kind of an Over Lay on how it's always been,  how i've always been....keep putting Different over Same...on top of,  like another layer.   It won't work.

the work of Radical Acceptance....letting the old      go.   and i'd put off the On Being ...but listened today and how perfect,  again,  the timing.    Christiana Figueres   Ecological Hope and Spiritual Evolution....her book,  The Future We Choose.   and how she said...."let go of the old world".   Yes.   

 

and then,  from FaceBook   "One way to lift your mood is to imagine all the nice things Steve Irwin would say about you if you were a lizard and he found you sunning yourself on a log"     The Lowdown

i love this

Monday Alyssia had a late appointment.  I picked Julian up from school and we set out.  Panda  again.  it's drive through so we sat a little in the parking lot so i could eat  some  but then went on.   was later in afternoon,  not a lot of time so i decided FINDING Goodwill would be enough.   I practiced with my google map thing on my phone and he showed me how to get the woman in it to speak outloud .   Not sure i'll remember that but i WILL remember how to find Goodwill.

and i have this fortune.   

things

my brother's middle daughter,  birth name Chyna Aurie Matisse,   is a school bus driver in rural Minnesota.   Ms. Matie.  She loves her work,  it's really her mission,   she LOVES it,  for some years now.  i have never known anyone who loved their work more than Matie.     on the way to Alyssia's there is a second hand store and i saw this.   If there was anything at all i could do in this moment it would be to find a way to send her this....She would be so so beyond joyfull,  so crazy happy

Practice. it's all about Practice.

Continuing on here after a long lapse.    and       that's all it is.    Practice.    Remain steadfast and     Practice.

the Sundays after

the Sundays  after a Gathering at the Well....everything is always So Clear,  so clearly clear and then slowly, over days  it gets a little lost and i have to find it again....seems to be a process that's recurring .  This morning:

i drew this a few days ago.     didn't have any idea why,  what exactly i was drawing?  but i remembered Shambhala.

"the inherent wisdom, compassion, and courage of all beings and even in our human society~our fundamental nature"      even Google knows

Late last night,  the phone with Kay,  Kay Gould Caskey,  me  lamenting  how all my life  i'd thought there were  so many possible Ways to uhhh,  "believe"  in,  true Ways,   knowing they were all really the Same,  feeling like i could choose which Path  to "learn Into",  but that now,  with how things are,  how things seem to be going,  how things are "turning out" in the world....the seeming rise in the thirst for war,  the rise in the thirst for division and hate in the   "political, sociological" landscape in this country....i feel like all those rugs have been pulled from beneath my feet...  BUT .....somehow.....there remains       some insistent belief that somehow....there IS     A     truth,  that it IS       offered             from ......The Unknowable Brilliant Mind of The Universe....it remains...it remains

 

and as i am saying these things to her there came this,  somewhere from nowhere, like a direct transmission:        "It is important that you remain steadfast to Me"         The Universe said.        and I said....wait,   wait,   i need to write that down and i did

 

 

and in first light of This day,  i looked to my left and there it was...this drawing....and i thought...      it's the ticket.  my ticket  !  and i remembered Gelek Rinpoche of Jewel Heart Temple,  Ann Arbor Michigan ,  the 70's?  early 80's?     saying:

"Practice like your hair's on fire."

and so.

i come away from this time at the Well

The Universe said:            "it is important that you remain steadfast to Me"         and

All the Teachings say,        in their own way,

Practice like your hair's on  fire

Ok.        i am ready.

journal entry