windthread

$2,500 so far.

maybe about a 1/4 of the road up?   the Big Gate ,  Carefree Way,   is  behind  me?     A short time this morning before RAIN which might be an atmospheric river,  might not       Alyssia  brought Groceries.... on foot.  this afternoon.  in the Rain.    Will remain some days till we drive it.  On the right,  the black is the GeoGrid   .   No agreement about its use at this point.  Jenny remains determined,  Alyssia does not see its  worth ,  the expense and effort.    among groceries,  all new Indian Spices.   Broccoli.    I still don't know many things.  So  I'll just cook for a while.   Eat.     I really want broccoli.     Tomorrow.....Salzberg's  Happiness Challenge.    February l

 

forecast next 10 days Rain.

hold the day.    Warm.   Glowing.   Full.             Thought to try again,   placing the Spirals ,  ie  pinning them "in place"  But there was a breeze and they would not be taught   No way around it;   either on a wall or a floor.          Am doing this when there was one of those moments when it's just suddenly  Electric.   He'd been turning to cut the curve in further and suddenly   

i see both of them standing at the side of the tractor,  standing but not standing,      pushing against it as it is tilting against them.  As it began to tilt he'd turned it off,       jumped out         and they are just standing there,  pushing against it as it is leaning sideways.   The Tension is palpable.  It's going to fall.  They are not big people  and standing there,  standing is not the word,  leaning ,    pushing against this huge piece of equipment to keep it upright     holding their breath    there was dead silence and then i yelled.....RUN,   just RUN    and Alyssia said how she does in the calm way she says anything,   GET IN IT and TURN IT ON.   He darts around and does and she says   TURN WHEELS STRAIGHT and GO...SLOW SLOW GO   STRAIGHT   STRAIGHT    and he does  and  it does not fall.   She is not crushed in front of her child's eyes.    and it was over.   He continued that curve,   she continued to rake.   I sat and stared,  my mouth hanging open.   We did not talk about it.   Haven't yet.   

 

 

 

atmospheric river on Wednesday

she had a fever.  no school.   but....this for a few minutes.   kinda school.   a Front Loader with Box Scraper.      and then.   crushed rock.   Tomorrow again.     if it happens,   i will be able to go IN and OUT the road.   She watches her mother do these things.

anomoly

have never seen something like this before.   don't even know how to look it up.    Right there,  next to the driveway,  maybe 10ft up the trunk.   Direct sunlight when there IS some.....    and today there was.   Glorious,  pure,  strong  SUN.   All day.  

i remember who i was.

this evening,  a bevy of Quail in the Doe Forest.    at least a dozen.   A moth fluttering,  lighting,  fluttering at the roof rim of the Curry House.   We talked about the Someday new  herd members.   That was very.    very.   good.    Most likely we will get 2 bred does.   Let them begin their contingent from that....probably at least 4 kids  born here.   We looked at the milkstand from N Mex.   The kids will learn.   Goat kids.   Human kids.   Learn.

 

 

the list begins

it's letting up.     Today is the third day of no rain.   There will be some more,  but  no longer         rain Season.     There's a long list.  We walked the fence lines and they cleared two fallen  trees with the chain saws and re attached the fencing.   I wandered and looked at    the   multitude of Beauty FULL   lines and shapes the  branches form ...how amazing it would be to draw this image,  line after line,   how so FULL the reality of the LIFE  both past and present would  flow through the marks  of the pencil.

i think about this.   I could.    I could make a print of this pic and actually do that.   What would i LEARN?  How more fully would i   "know"   this Doe Forest?   Minnow ran and flew through ,  over trees,  and a couple times over fences.   I think how her life has changed.  

and then....the planning,   the thinking.....this next week the rental  heavy equipment will be delivered,   the rockgravel.   Road up,  which has washed out in places be graded and the stones spread.   More thought tomorrow and maybe it's when the Geogrid gets put to use.   Jenny had bought it the first year and it's waited.   I think it's time is now.   There are many things on that list but before any of them,   the road up.      and down.    and back up.    Right now,  you can only drive half way.   and then need to BACK down.   This is what Alyssia has been doing with my ice/groceries/batteries etc.   AND  the bales of feed and 100 lb bags of pellets. ...drives half way then pulls them the rest of the way on the "sled".    So.  here we go.    Our lives.

 

standing at Jack Flash's gate Listening

a Spring Peeper Song  X   many     M A N Y

 

The Gathering at the Well.         Some housekeeping.      Some of Us who had wanted to participate     for whatever   reasons,  have not been able to.         It's been 6 months now.      Wendy suggested that we send out the invitation again in case anyone is now interested.    We meet twice a month on Saturdays.    Each of us bring our own Work.    It's a Therapy Group,   as different from a Support Group.   Therapy Group.   We Work.    If you are interested,  you can contact me or Wendy by Email....

[email protected]   .     We are magnificant.   We go deeply into who we are becoming.   We surprise ourSelves.     We are Love as a verb.   

and then,  today,   Beth    of Still Life Pond     sent me this:   Sharon Salzberg's   Real Happiness Meditation Challenge 2024   Feb l  ~  28th.   just Google.   I'm signed on.   Hope maybe you will too.

Love to You this beauty FULL    SECOND DAY of NO RAIN   Love and Love 

 

 

the questions

ask the Plant.....Can you hold me?

to ReInforce.

wadded up in the door basket.

back.   Neckline and shoulders ripped down....just came apart  during a washing machine moment last summer.  And so,  here we go.   Why?   no idea.    

there used to be 3  hot day dresses.   the other 2 were very light weight denim.   I don't know what happened to them...that was back in New Mex when it didn't matter so much.   this one,  worn to smithereens in the last few California years.   Summer WILL come.   This will be as close to naked as i can get.   And so.    

this has something to do with a VERY short moment....and even not even a 

moment

this morning when i woke from a Little Sleep.   A split second almost when i understood something about a Lifetime....having to do with lifetimes of trees,  lifetimes of Land,  Forests,  community of trees  and then....people.   Also to do with reading Caste.  ...the ongoingness of human beings Becoming societies.   It was very Beauty Full,  the understanding even tho it was over in such a flash that i cannot make contact with it now.   But there is a feeling that it will come again,   Show its Self.   Little by Little. And explain to me  About how i have Quit so much....let go of things i've always done,   feeling adrift from all known   but that is just very much ok and as i can be,  even should be.......that it all can be New.   as i get old.

 

a tuesday

caught it!     a pic    mid day!   and look what it is....a failed Chana masala.    so.....ok.     

11:35 p.m.

it took this long.     This one single pic.    I started sometime around 6 pm   and then,  off and on,   till just now.    and i thought,  ok,  just once more....and then.....ta da....here it is.  and i don't even know what it was i was wanting to say..................    ...........................  something about that it's almost February .....the RELIEF from January,   February and Now WHAT?   

I've been watching CatherinE over on gemtactics  ,  her Sketch Journal,  admiring it so much and then thinking how i am doing Nothing and i got the Spirals from under things,  unrolled them and spread them out,  how they are so just pinned haphazardly,  i didn't even pin them well......     What.       So things tonight are nothing but Questions.   Just questions.   all falling under the category of

Now What?