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Minnow's chair
in these hot days, hot nights, she sleeps outside. This chair. she springs from it to guard the rim of that fenceline down there in the Doe Forest where so much seems to be happening day unto day night unto night and she guards. to come back, to her chair and this morning she can't...it's torn. i want to fix it for her. if i can.
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the Altar. Every Thing there. Down to each twig of salt cedar. Becoming aware how memories feel....well tactile. In the cloth world we might say...components. physical somehow. part of the body. a new sense of what i am "made of" that i want to learn more about.
just the other day. really. just the other day, i thought about the WonderBird. Thought to look at it. Robe hangs on a hook in that Back Room. All the time.. Has never been on the Evac list. ? I guess because it's Linsey-Woolsey and Evac days are in the 90's? or so? i re-think. As i look today, WonderBird is faded by time.
so Liz found it. She should be designated World Librarian, being that brilliant... .she FOUND it....the beginning of the Intention of every day to be March 3, 2013 i never could have found it. I would have imagined it to be earlier than even this, but...this....11 years. Eleven years. And as i read, i thought.....WHO wrote all that?, All those words? Who HAD all those words? i smiled....ear to ear...my heart.....i smiled at the Sincerity of them, the Earnestness. At the person who wrote them Who is so familiar She lives in New Mexico, the land of Horizons, a Beauty FULL place in the desert. I know her.
She wrote "I am thinking it's a very good thing to have given a commitment to one year. every day for one year. and at the end of that time if I can come to no good conclusion, I will just STOP and be done with it"
But she didn't stop. she went on. and goes on. and she is me. and here i am. I am where i WAS and i am where i am.
so, we wonder. Nancy...Pomegranate Trail. blogspot.com and probably all of us. Blogging is kinda old fashioned, right? i think so. and i wondered again today...When Was It?, that i decided to post every day? and what was my reasoning at that time?
so i went to the Archives to try to find an answer and pretty quickly couldn't...got to 2/2013 and no answer yet and it takes a LOT of battery for that kind of thing and i saw so much of the Other Life i had that quickly pulled me in to a deep nostalgia which wasn't where i was intending to go
i think i remember it as.....There's SomeThing. Some Thing. every day. that is Beauty Full or just noteworthy,
and to honor that...to "say" it, every day. ???? Something like that?
and i think....today....is this not still true?
this little acorn...interrupted....right outside the door ..... had it continued as it "should",, would be 3 times as big but it didn't, it fell for some reason but, just outside the door and i saw it first thing this morning
in it's Perfection
the smallest lizard i have ever seen. Tiny. just in front of Jack's water tub, so NEAR me....approaching me and then, skittering away'
so
tiny
there's something about fray that i love. so i leave it. but now...this season coming, maybe now. I'll sit with it a while.
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the gate. i drop Jack's feed over and he eats while i lean into the gate. the pallet is just ahead, maybe 3ft away. against the trunk of the Old Pine. on either side of the old tree there's branches and twigs, plants and beyond, that's Jack's tent house, his rain shelter. It's a tarp. The back fence is maybe 40 ft away.
The vague shades of blue are spaces where, aside from the trunk of the Tree they will appear. So i go there, every morning. Drop the grass hay and call out....Hello Friends Are you here? Sometimes they're waiting for me. During late spring and early summer, often on the pallet. But when they're not, i call and wait, scanning all the blue places for any small movement. and i mean small. the turn of a head. small. It's one of the incredibly beauty full lessons they've taught me...to see the slightest hint of motion ....and Wait. Then they come close. To the trunk of the tree, to the pallet. To the branch that curves down. They show me other things. The difference between Leaping and Jumping, playing, disappearing and reappearing and most important, how to WAIT. How things Take Time. And how this happens, i'm not ready to try to give words to it. With them, there is no language...just uhhh, a Full Space of Being that includes us within it. I thought this morning, maybe a little like that FeltSense. ? sorta, but also not . Because it doesn't belong to me, but is someThing that comes into existence between Us. New each time.
maybe 20 minutes, all this...sometimes more. and then i say I love you. Thank you. May we be Safe. Gentle Day. And i go off ....to practice what i've learned in other ways.
i've been in Chicago every night this week. Amidst so many people experiencing the concept of JOY, maybe for the first time in a while. Have loved watching, listening, then reading about what i watched and listened to....the little details, for one....this is for Nancy...how music was selected for each speaker, tailored to their specifics, my favorite being as Tim Walz leaves the stage after his speech, one of "his favorite songs.".....Neil Young Rockin in the Free World.....whod've guessed, right? As much as who was speaking, i loved the faces in the crowd it's been an alternate universe
and here, to begin each of these days....this drawing, just a few marks at a time but wanting to acknowledge What It IS. They have come back every day after some days of a month gone with the intense heat...the two Friends. small lizards, Uno and Dos. I'll talk about it more later. It's almost done Enough.
