windthread

fine tuning, honing in

i think a lot about Simultaneous.  Simultaneous realities,  Simultaneous selves.   Because i want to understand the reality of Simultaneousness.  Because i believe it to be real.  It takes such a particular kind of Willingness for a particular kind of Openness.  It's hard, still,  for me to stay in that place.

i just now took the trash dumpster down the hill,  down Carefree Way to it's place on Old Olive Highway.  There is city pick up.  We are on the farthest edge of this service.   Every Monday.  so...we are on the farthest edge of the municipality of Oroville California,  USA.    I looked up at the Hill.  No one would imagine what goes on here.  There's no sign of it,  this reality.  And from this reality,  there is no sign of that other reality that is playing out day unto day.  The noise of it.  the senselessness of it, the cruelty of it,  the  incessant flood of illusion.  

This  is not who we are.   

it keeps being said with every instance of the above.  This is not who we are.  And stuffed animals are placed,  Flowers, small signs and love notes and we say,  This is not who we are.  Candlelight vigils.  This is not who we are.   But more and more it is becoming 

who we are.

so....how do i live?   How do i understand the simultaneousness of who we THOUght we were and who we are??????

Half,  or close,  to the human beings in this country are really ok with things that cause me such deep grief.  And we all live here.   

we all live here.

more and more i am thinking that it is a necessary point in time,  where things will become so pointed,  so stark,  that something will happen...evolutionary,  whatever that might mean.  But something Big.

 

 

 

this Cloth is small,  simple in compositional pieces.  Today the branches of Tree began.  It comes from the REALITY that all the while that the other Reality is playing out,  there is one that is completely simultaneous that holds so Strong and so REAL,  day unto day.  The Sky,  Trees,  Growing of all manner of entities.  It continues along side of all that other,  of its own accord,  true to its own Song.  And though i watch all the Rest,  i can still Stand with This.  I can still  ASK this to take me in enough so i can just go,  holding my own simultaneousness.

Hazel of Handstories put a John O'Donohue quote today from his Beannacht/Blessings.  These few sentences:

May the nourishment of the earth be yours,

may the clarity of light be yours,

may  the fluency of the ocean be yours,

may the protection of the ancestors be yours

 

   

today

i watched.  From the beginning to the end.  I'd not planned to.  Had told self i wouldn't.  Would read about it later.  But i watched.  All day.  Alyssia had appointments about school,  so for the most part,  it was me and Emrie until the bus dropped Julian off at 3:12.  And it was still going. He asked me about it.  I tried to tell him,  "in five words or less".    Meaning being concise.  But he already knew things about it.  He's 9.   So,  i watched all day and it's dark now and i don't know what i can say about it all,  other than i had never imagined,  EVER,  that this would be at issue in this United States of America.   I think how it seems that this angry entitled man will be making decisions for All of Us when Emrie is 21 years.  When Emrie is a woman.  I will be dead then.  But Emrie will be a young woman.